jezzebelle

"I will work on my codependency." The more insight you can gain about your codependency, the freer you will become. It's often a question of bringing the focus back onto yourself and away from the man. Your decision to stay put for a while, place your college course as a priority, attend Al Anon and take care of your children all make me think you are doing that. I salute your clear thinking. The man has to sort himself out. Always keep your focus on yourself, so hard to do at first but so important. You can do it!

jezzebelle

This sentence stood out for me in your original post, foms77. The more insight you can gain into your codependency, the freer you will become. Keep all your energy for yourself and your children. Let the man sort himself. You can do this, you can work on your codependency. Best of luck and be kind to yourself.

iluv31purses

I am in a very similar situation . My son has been having nightmares about my AH 's nightly half a box of wine drinking habit and chewing tobacco addiction. My Ah actually listened to my 10 year old son and quit drinking for 2 nights and was being very nice. 2 nights later right back at it. I have said nothing since as every time I bring it up it's a fight and him saying he won't be backed into a corner. My eight year old daughter has such anxiety over the tobacco and he won't even attempt to quit for the kids. It's not time to leave him because then I don't see my kids every night and I couldn't bear that. My six year old thinks Daddy 's mean with wine. I don't know what to do. It's been this way for years. I fear he will never change or admit there is a problem. How do you all deal with the feeling of helplessness?