amy55

I don't know what to do with the feeling of calmness. Haven't been doing much since my son's graduation. Did go over to my friends house overnight to watch their cat.

What do you do with a feeling of calmness and peace. I know I still have one more bridge to mend. With my youngest daughter, but I have a feeling that will fall into place this year.

I don't know if this is the right place to post this. I am an RA. I just feel comfortable posting here. You know me here.

I did tell you here that I lie to my therapist. Didn't mean that I wasn't listening to them, just wanted them to feel good about themselves, but I listened to what they said, just as I listen to everything here, but I needed to apply things at my own pace.

So here I am, sitting here with no worries, no drama. I should feel happy, but the only thing I really feel is relief.

I think sometimes, (well only last few days because I never felt like this before) is this normal? or a state of depression?

I drank to get this feeling, now I have this feeling being sober. It's taking me awhile to write this, because I am trying to get my thoughts right.

I did go through a very hard last 10 months or a year. I did go back to drinking last year for a few weeks. Then I knew to get over this c-PTSD, I had to do it sober. I had to face my fears, and I couldn't do it with a bottle.

I'm still battling the pension division, should be over shortly, still have my youngest daughter not speaking to me, working on that.

That is my only roller-coaster right now, and I plan to do this sober.

I just don't know how to handle this anhedonia. Don't even know if I am using the right word. I just don't feel happy, sad, motivated. It's like, I, just for now, need to sit with calmness and peace. But since I'm not happy, it feels like depression.

Anyone who has read my posts know that I was in an extremely abusive relationship. So perhaps this feeling is normal when the roller coaster stops and there are no more extreme up and downs, and that this is what peace and calmness is. I really don't know.

I don't feel like eating today, but I will. I am more thinking about what I will eat tomorrow. It's like I just want today to sit with peace and calm, and worry, or think about tomorrow. Perhaps worry wasn't the right word.

Really, sorry, about all the disjointed thoughts and feelings, or lack of feelings.

I just don't know what normal is.

(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
amy

shil2587

Sounds a bit like boredom to me. Or rather how I feel when I've been really busy for weeks and suddenly have nothing to do. It takes me a while to adjust and I feel at a loss not having anything urgent to do.

I find housework helps. It let's my mind enjoy the feeling if peace, but also gives me something to do that feels productive. Also painting and reading.

Sounds like you could use a project to give you something to focus on?

amy55

I have a lot of projects to do. Been putting things off, was feeling overwhelmed. It might be a good idea to put projects down on paper, to make it less overwhelming. I'm doing landscaping this year. I know it's not even summer yet, and I use that as an excuse, because I should have been doing this.

Going to make myself go to Lowes tomorrow, and get peat moss, and start to till it into my garden beds. I already have about 40 perennial seedlings to plant.

Must say, you're right, but I just want to go out and lay in the sun. I know this is not me.!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep pushing me.

Thank you,
amy

happybeingme

I get like that after a time of high stress like you just had. I call it the let down. After having low levels of adrenaline running for a while it's normal I think to feel the way you do. I let myself feel it. Just go with it. Kind of like recovering from the flu. The symptoms are gone but you don't quite feel normal yet. Give it some time.