a glimmer of hope and letting go
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
a glimmer of hope and letting go
I'm feeling a glimmer of hope. Not the the happy or relieved hope I used to naively have. Recognition and awareness of different actions and behaviors; the want to be sober reappearing.
It seems hope of this kind is dangerous to my recovery. It too easily draws me to the other side. It becomes harder not to say something "helpful" (it isn't). To have "hope" of a certain behavior or outcome sets expectations on others. That has time and again gotten me in trouble with myself!
No matter what happens today or tomorrow, I will rejoice in the day, be grateful and work my own recovery.
Just for today, for each and every person in my life I will Let Go & Let God. Let them fully have the right to find and choose their own paths. To connect with them in healthy ways. To speak recovery, love and compassion by my actions more than my words, on good days and bad. To stay centered and balanced.
Big goals there! At one time it would have seemed impossible, yet now it's becoming doable.
Healthy hope is becoming a part of my recovery. It has more to do with myself and my own abilities, no matter what happens around me. Maybe letting go & letting God is having hope. It feels completely different than the hope I used to feel. Maybe this is an adjustment period while I get used to my own changing thoughts, behaviors and responses.
Your own experiences with hope and recovery welcome. It's been a long time since I've considered hope. I've mostly ignored it and have been scared of it.
It seems hope of this kind is dangerous to my recovery. It too easily draws me to the other side. It becomes harder not to say something "helpful" (it isn't). To have "hope" of a certain behavior or outcome sets expectations on others. That has time and again gotten me in trouble with myself!
No matter what happens today or tomorrow, I will rejoice in the day, be grateful and work my own recovery.
Just for today, for each and every person in my life I will Let Go & Let God. Let them fully have the right to find and choose their own paths. To connect with them in healthy ways. To speak recovery, love and compassion by my actions more than my words, on good days and bad. To stay centered and balanced.
Big goals there! At one time it would have seemed impossible, yet now it's becoming doable.
Healthy hope is becoming a part of my recovery. It has more to do with myself and my own abilities, no matter what happens around me. Maybe letting go & letting God is having hope. It feels completely different than the hope I used to feel. Maybe this is an adjustment period while I get used to my own changing thoughts, behaviors and responses.
Your own experiences with hope and recovery welcome. It's been a long time since I've considered hope. I've mostly ignored it and have been scared of it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I think to get realistic hope one must be very honest. Read a lot about alcoholism, spend a lot of time on this forum looking at other people's experiences and suggestions. In the beginning of letting go, what I called hope was delusional thinking. Like "miracles happen". Well perhaps they do but they are extremely rare. After I kept getting hurt my hope changed. I hoped for the best for him (whatever that is, it's not for me to say), but it was time for me to work on myself. Alanon was the key to my recovery; a wonderful sponsor helped me stay in reality.
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