Anger Stage
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: NM
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by garfiild 
BLAH BLAH tell you some things
(you're gone so you don't know how great I'm doing)
about myself that I'm excited about.
(cuz I'm starting on a great path wow look at me)
Blah enrolled next semester blah.
(see how easy I turned myself around?)
Blah blah pretty amazing
(are you sorry we split up yet? are you calling me yet??)
blah blah drug test lol.
(because my silly little drug problem was never that big of a deal to anyone but you) BTW did she not also have an issue with alcohol or am I confusing her with another?
Blah blah therapist for a little while
(I really TRIED to keep our agreement on this)
Blah blah seemed to push me out early
(So it's not my FAULT that I didn't actually do it)
I still think about you all the time.
(Tell me you still love me and me discontinuing therapy doesn't matter)
[Our puppy] is doing really well Blah blah.
(You gave up on our LIFE, even our sweet little puppy, too soon. Aren't you SAD???? Are you calling me YET????)
Well okay just wanted to say hi AND TRY TO MANIPULATE THE CRAP OUT OF YOU. IS IT WORKING?????
(you're gone so you don't know how great I'm doing)
about myself that I'm excited about.
(cuz I'm starting on a great path wow look at me)
Blah enrolled next semester blah.
(see how easy I turned myself around?)
Blah blah pretty amazing
(are you sorry we split up yet? are you calling me yet??)
blah blah drug test lol.
(because my silly little drug problem was never that big of a deal to anyone but you) BTW did she not also have an issue with alcohol or am I confusing her with another?
Blah blah therapist for a little while
(I really TRIED to keep our agreement on this)
Blah blah seemed to push me out early
(So it's not my FAULT that I didn't actually do it)
I still think about you all the time.
(Tell me you still love me and me discontinuing therapy doesn't matter)
[Our puppy] is doing really well Blah blah.
(You gave up on our LIFE, even our sweet little puppy, too soon. Aren't you SAD???? Are you calling me YET????)
Well okay just wanted to say hi AND TRY TO MANIPULATE THE CRAP OUT OF YOU. IS IT WORKING?????
Yes, she didn't just have a problem with weed. She had a problem with alcohol, sleeping around, and cocaine.
I heard from one of my friends that a friend of ours ran into her at a club here about a month ago. She was drinking with her friends (probably her alcoholic brother too) and completely smashed. She recognized him as one of my friends and apparently said some really mean things that he couldn't recall (he's gay, and she used to accuse me of the same when I didn't feel like doing stuff to her while she was drunk and throwing herself at me, so I wouldn't be surprised if she somehow used that). All he could say about it was that she said some mean things about him and knew I had started hanging out with the friends she pulled me away from, including him. He walked away and said that he had never come so close to hitting a girl in his life.
I just love how free I am of all of this. I used to think that I was crazy for believing everyone else and that she actually was wonderful. Now I see that I'm not the only one who's noticed how terrible she is.
I completely agree. That email was just a load of narcissism and self praise. She acts like basic things are big accomplishments for her and what she did to me is insignificant. I noticed that her older alcoholic brother had this type of narcissistic behavior ever since I met him, but I failed to notice how similar she is to him while I was still with her. It's like the scales came off my eyes. I'm out, and I'm glad that I don't have to deal with her anymore.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: NM
Posts: 96
So, it's been 3 months since we split. 3 days from today will be the day we were supposed to get married.
I am so grateful that I'm not dealing with her anymore. The hurts and the reminders may surface occassionally for a while, but at least I am out of the sick system. I don't feel trapped or stressed out because I'm dealing with someone else's mess. I'm free to continue working on myself and making myself a better person.
I haven't gotten any new emails since the last one which was basically her just begging me to come back. She only said two sentences which were that she thinks we can fix things and to please stop shutting her out. I realized with that email that she was following the same pattern as before, so she's on the sympathy stage and making demands of me. I set some new filters and committed to myself not to read the emails. There hasn't been anything new from her in several weeks.
I'm hoping that she doesn't try anything in the next few days, but if she does, I'll probably come here to talk about it.
So far, life is really great, getting better every day, and I have a million other things to be thankful for. I'm really thankful to everyone here for helping me through this, one step at a time.
I am so grateful that I'm not dealing with her anymore. The hurts and the reminders may surface occassionally for a while, but at least I am out of the sick system. I don't feel trapped or stressed out because I'm dealing with someone else's mess. I'm free to continue working on myself and making myself a better person.
I haven't gotten any new emails since the last one which was basically her just begging me to come back. She only said two sentences which were that she thinks we can fix things and to please stop shutting her out. I realized with that email that she was following the same pattern as before, so she's on the sympathy stage and making demands of me. I set some new filters and committed to myself not to read the emails. There hasn't been anything new from her in several weeks.
I'm hoping that she doesn't try anything in the next few days, but if she does, I'll probably come here to talk about it.
So far, life is really great, getting better every day, and I have a million other things to be thankful for. I'm really thankful to everyone here for helping me through this, one step at a time.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 774
Originally Posted by noinsanity2423
So, it's been 3 months since we split. 3 days from today will be the day we were supposed to get married.
I am so grateful that I'm not dealing with her anymore. The hurts and the reminders may surface occassionally for a while, but at least I am out of the sick system. I don't feel trapped or stressed out because I'm dealing with someone else's mess. I'm free to continue working on myself and making myself a better person.
I haven't gotten any new emails since the last one which was basically her just begging me to come back. She only said two sentences which were that she thinks we can fix things and to please stop shutting her out. I realized with that email that she was following the same pattern as before, so she's on the sympathy stage and making demands of me. I set some new filters and committed to myself not to read the emails. There hasn't been anything new from her in several weeks.
I'm hoping that she doesn't try anything in the next few days, but if she does, I'll probably come here to talk about it.
So far, life is really great, getting better every day, and I have a million other things to be thankful for. I'm really thankful to everyone here for helping me through this, one step at a time.
I am so grateful that I'm not dealing with her anymore. The hurts and the reminders may surface occassionally for a while, but at least I am out of the sick system. I don't feel trapped or stressed out because I'm dealing with someone else's mess. I'm free to continue working on myself and making myself a better person.
I haven't gotten any new emails since the last one which was basically her just begging me to come back. She only said two sentences which were that she thinks we can fix things and to please stop shutting her out. I realized with that email that she was following the same pattern as before, so she's on the sympathy stage and making demands of me. I set some new filters and committed to myself not to read the emails. There hasn't been anything new from her in several weeks.
I'm hoping that she doesn't try anything in the next few days, but if she does, I'll probably come here to talk about it.
So far, life is really great, getting better every day, and I have a million other things to be thankful for. I'm really thankful to everyone here for helping me through this, one step at a time.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Thanks for the great update!
Hope the next few days pass uneventfully. Be careful, though, of the tendency to feel a little offended if she DOESN'T try to make contact right now. It's surprising sometimes how even when someone is respecting our expressed wishes, it can be a little disappointing when they don't seem to miss us anymore. :-) Maybe not the case for you, but it has hit me from time to time, and a few other folks here, too.
Hope the next few days pass uneventfully. Be careful, though, of the tendency to feel a little offended if she DOESN'T try to make contact right now. It's surprising sometimes how even when someone is respecting our expressed wishes, it can be a little disappointing when they don't seem to miss us anymore. :-) Maybe not the case for you, but it has hit me from time to time, and a few other folks here, too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: NM
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by LexieCat
Thanks for the great update!
Hope the next few days pass uneventfully. Be careful, though, of the tendency to feel a little offended if she DOESN'T try to make contact right now. It's surprising sometimes how even when someone is respecting our expressed wishes, it can be a little disappointing when they don't seem to miss us anymore. :-) Maybe not the case for you, but it has hit me from time to time, and a few other folks here, too.
Hope the next few days pass uneventfully. Be careful, though, of the tendency to feel a little offended if she DOESN'T try to make contact right now. It's surprising sometimes how even when someone is respecting our expressed wishes, it can be a little disappointing when they don't seem to miss us anymore. :-) Maybe not the case for you, but it has hit me from time to time, and a few other folks here, too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: NM
Posts: 96
Thanks for the support, everyone. Fortunately, nothing happened that weekend or last weekend. I haven't heard anything new from her in over a month, and I think it's best that way. There's no more poison seeping in to my head. I feel sorry for her, and maybe it's compassion. I really wish the best for her family and that she does wake up and realize her own destructive behavior.
Nonetheless, I am glad that she is out of my life, and I have rebuilt most of what I allowed her to control or destroy. Life is still hard with its everyday struggles, but at least I can take care of myself now instead of being a parent to an adult. I can say that things are honestly better, and I don't have to live in fear of the next 5 minutes anymore.
Nonetheless, I am glad that she is out of my life, and I have rebuilt most of what I allowed her to control or destroy. Life is still hard with its everyday struggles, but at least I can take care of myself now instead of being a parent to an adult. I can say that things are honestly better, and I don't have to live in fear of the next 5 minutes anymore.
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