thotful

Even though the world doesn't change around me due to my recovery (I'm not in control of that), I have noticed something interesting. Because of how different I am, some people interact with me differently.

I feel like I've had wool over my eyes and now see the world. Like REALLY see it. As if I've been moving through life blind before now.

For example, a friend from a dancing group just up and started talking to me about personal stuff. A loss of parents at an early age, raising a sibling, and a strain on their relationship. I said to them, "thanks for sharing" - I viewed their willingness to share something sensitive to them as a gift. The person said, "I felt you would be the only one who could understand." fascinating.

I just finished a lunch with my sister's significant other. I realized I had never tried to get to know him. I live my life in a way where I take my own advice. I do for others what I wish they would do for me. I want my loved ones to get to know my wife...so, I make an effort to get to know my siblings' partners. Anyways, I told this person that I was truly sorry for being judgmental in the past and turned a new leaf. That I wanted to be better. That they deserved better from me.
Just as with the previous example, we had a heart-to-heart and the person was honest about their life, their childhood, struggles they have had.

What is it about me now? People talk to me about things that I thought were blocked off before. I didn't force anything here. I am just completely honest about my life. I talk about how it feels in various situations. and I acknowledge wrongdoing or the making of mistakes. I want to be real and not hide everything away.

My world is opening up and it feels like I've been down in a dungeon breathing on next to nil oxygen. That I've stepped out into the light...the sun...and now I can finally breathe.

Amazing.

happybeingme

Thanks for the great share. That is good recovery.

HopefulinFLA

Sounds like you're doing something right. ;-)

lizatola

I think people can tell that we are more accepting than most of society. I have learned to stop going around 'shoulding' people: You should do this, you should try that, etc.
Glad to hear that recovery looks good on you!!!

thotful

When I catch myself saying a "you should" I try to look in the mirror. Put stuff into place in my life perfectly and then maybe I can direct another person's life. Oh wait...that will be never. Managing my own life and challenges is enough for me.

FireSprite

Yep - "Change the way you look at things & the things you look at change."

There's also something to be said for how showing a little vulnerability (honesty/humility/etc.) can sometimes be the olive branch that brings people together, when both sides are willing to listen & really HEAR.

It sounds like your recovery is reflecting back on you!

Duckygirl1

People would pour their heart out to my ex when he was still using. I always thought that if these people only knew him they'd clam up. Maybe, just maybe, people have always talked to you. You can just hear them now.