feellost

20 years married. AH drinking nightly for the last 15. No abuse to deal with, although starting to lose control alot lately. Goes to work everyday, pays bills on time, says he loves me alot. "I like to get a buzz at night" he says. I feel mad all the time. How do you handle the resentment? We have fun when he is not drinking and the anger seems to go away, but I know toninght he will walk in the door with the usual 8 beers and it all starts again. Fighting last night, he says I just want to control him. We can't have two KINGS in the house is his new saying. I just feel lost and alone. I just want to cry!

Lorelai

Feel lost -
Hey - you're me. I've been married for 20 years and he's been drinking to excess for 15. I know just what you mean. So frustrating, isn't it?

You are certainly not alone. There is a lot of wisdom on these boards. I've been working on myself for the last several months and learning a lot. I feel better than I have in years.

Keep reading and posting. It will get better. Takes some time but well worth it.
I'm glad you're here.
L

cwohio

feellost - join the club. i too had much anger at my ah for about 20 years (14 married). finally went to al-anon about a month ago and happened upon this site arond the same time.

i have learned to let the anger & resentment go (still get twinges) with the help of site and meetings.

hang in there and look around the website - lots of wonderful info and lots of great folks who will make you feel right at home and not so alone.

there's a whole bunch of us out here in the same boat! :titanic

hugs - cwohio

feellost

It helps just to get things off my chest. Thank you. I do think al-anon is the next step for me, I just need to find some courage to do it.

Thanks again,
feellost

Lorelai

Feel free to hang around here and build up your courage.
Looking forward to getting to know you.
L