Just for today: I will do somebody a good turn...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Just for today: I will do somebody a good turn...
From the Just For Today bookmark. (available for 15 cents, and also included in Alanon Newcomer packets)
"Just for today I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count."
Ideas on this? Random acts of kindness often involve buying/paying for something, and/or someone knowing about it, like paying for something for another person - then the cashier knows about it - or donating time.
I tend to get stuck in perfectionism, and also have a problem thinking of things that don't always involve money. Action (just for today) instead of over thinking this!
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Possibilities:
Donate to thrift stores, recycling centers, etc.
Anonymously send thank you notes to businesses, especially with naming employees - same for police departments, clinics, hospitals, fire departments, search and rescue, etc.
Fill in contact forms for a group or business with (anonymous) positive feedback.
Grow seedlings and leave the plants with a note, either for a specific person or random stranger.
10 Most Heartwarming Anonymous Notes - ODDEE
Start or contribute to a geocache.
Pray; create a prayer list.
Pick up litter.
Good Deeds Bucket List - 365 Days, 365 Ways to Love, Anonymously
"Just for today I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count."
Ideas on this? Random acts of kindness often involve buying/paying for something, and/or someone knowing about it, like paying for something for another person - then the cashier knows about it - or donating time.
I tend to get stuck in perfectionism, and also have a problem thinking of things that don't always involve money. Action (just for today) instead of over thinking this!
----
Possibilities:
Donate to thrift stores, recycling centers, etc.
Anonymously send thank you notes to businesses, especially with naming employees - same for police departments, clinics, hospitals, fire departments, search and rescue, etc.
Fill in contact forms for a group or business with (anonymous) positive feedback.
Grow seedlings and leave the plants with a note, either for a specific person or random stranger.
10 Most Heartwarming Anonymous Notes - ODDEE
Start or contribute to a geocache.
Pray; create a prayer list.
Pick up litter.
Good Deeds Bucket List - 365 Days, 365 Ways to Love, Anonymously
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I wouldn't take the "secrecy" part of that too seriously. It's more important to be kind than to do it secretly. Just because someone knows you did it doesn't make it "not count," IMO. The point is not to look for "credit" for doing it.
One of my favorite things to do is to pass on compliments second-hand. Everyone always LOVES a second-hand compliment. When someone compliments you directly there's always the possibility they are trying to flatter you or just make you feel good. When someone passes on a compliment from someone else (e.g., "So-and-so told me what a fantastic job you did on whatever") it has more credibility.
One of my favorite things to do is to pass on compliments second-hand. Everyone always LOVES a second-hand compliment. When someone compliments you directly there's always the possibility they are trying to flatter you or just make you feel good. When someone passes on a compliment from someone else (e.g., "So-and-so told me what a fantastic job you did on whatever") it has more credibility.
Bunnies!
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,905
I think that pertains more to your intentions, YOUR reason for doing it. Are you looking for a pat on the back, or to genuinely do a selfless act for another? We have a Mystery Lady here who pays randomly for lunches for servicemembers in a bbq restaurant. It's been going on for years now, and nobody knows who she is except the restaurant's owner. Someone paid for a whole line of cars in the McDonald's drive-thru a few days ago.
We donate regularly to a local charity that provides a "shopping" experience where everything is free. Yes, free. The idea started in one woman's garage and has gone through three spaces due to such rapid expansion due to donations. It's now a 5,000sq ft industrial space that is frequently overflowing with household goods and furniture. This place has changed our community and the way people look at the things they have in their homes that aren't being used. They clothe and feed the homeless, provide toiletries to anyone who comes to their trailer on Wednesdays... They are the only reason we had clothes for our last baby when she was born. Just dropping off our gently used items makes my heart swell with love, because this one person saw a need in our community. And I can give back to the people who helped me. Acts of kindness don't have to cost money. But it never hurts to buy someone's coffee (or their $3 movie ticket at the drive-in movie theater (: )
We donate regularly to a local charity that provides a "shopping" experience where everything is free. Yes, free. The idea started in one woman's garage and has gone through three spaces due to such rapid expansion due to donations. It's now a 5,000sq ft industrial space that is frequently overflowing with household goods and furniture. This place has changed our community and the way people look at the things they have in their homes that aren't being used. They clothe and feed the homeless, provide toiletries to anyone who comes to their trailer on Wednesdays... They are the only reason we had clothes for our last baby when she was born. Just dropping off our gently used items makes my heart swell with love, because this one person saw a need in our community. And I can give back to the people who helped me. Acts of kindness don't have to cost money. But it never hurts to buy someone's coffee (or their $3 movie ticket at the drive-in movie theater (: )
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
KTF, I don't know if this is what you're looking for, but I've had several opportunities of this type presented to me recently:
I was waiting to check out some items at the library. Our library doesn't have a well-defined "waiting line" and sometimes things don't proceed in an orderly fashion. On this particular day, I was the only one in line; all 3 open checkouts were busy. Then another woman came up and stood to the left of me, looking as if she was going to go to that checkout when it opened up, rather than allowing whoever was there before her to take whatever checkout opened up next, as is usually done.
I was absolutely stewing about this--seriously! I was watching her out of the corner of my eye and wondering how I could make it clear to her that I got to go first, since I was there first, dammit. I was getting annoyed and offended. And suddenly this little voice whispered in my head "hey, you could LET her go first, it would all be settled, and then you could stop stewing..." So I did that, and you know? It was a good thing!
One small step in my ongoing struggle to not have to always be right.
I was waiting to check out some items at the library. Our library doesn't have a well-defined "waiting line" and sometimes things don't proceed in an orderly fashion. On this particular day, I was the only one in line; all 3 open checkouts were busy. Then another woman came up and stood to the left of me, looking as if she was going to go to that checkout when it opened up, rather than allowing whoever was there before her to take whatever checkout opened up next, as is usually done.
I was absolutely stewing about this--seriously! I was watching her out of the corner of my eye and wondering how I could make it clear to her that I got to go first, since I was there first, dammit. I was getting annoyed and offended. And suddenly this little voice whispered in my head "hey, you could LET her go first, it would all be settled, and then you could stop stewing..." So I did that, and you know? It was a good thing!
One small step in my ongoing struggle to not have to always be right.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Oh, and I think Lexie and NWGrits both are accurate in saying that it's not the absolute secrecy of the act that is important but rather the intention. Good lord, in this day and age, NOTHING is secret any more, so I think we have to go w/the intention aspect of it!
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 588
At one of my old jobs we created a board where we could make a post it note saying positive things about co workers. We thanked each other for help that we got , said great job on whatever project or maybe simply thanks for brining your smile. It was one of the greatest places I've ever worked and had I not had to move is still be there!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,778
If anyone knows about it it doesn't count? I don't like that part either. Doing nice things just because is the point. Who cares who finds out about it? I share anecdotes about my day and sometimes good deeds are included not because I want a pat on the back, but because it's something that was part of my experience that day.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by Duckygirl1 
At one of my old jobs we created a board where we could make a post it note saying positive things about co workers. We thanked each other for help that we got , said great job on whatever project or maybe simply thanks for brining your smile. It was one of the greatest places I've ever worked and had I not had to move is still be there!!
It's sort of like a "gratitude list"--just focusing on the positive.
Every so often I hear of kids' classes that are assigned to write something positive about each of the other kids in the class. As long as the teacher "moderates" to make sure nothing unkind is sneaked in by a mean kid, it's a great way to make kids see each other AS PEOPLE and for the less "popular" kids to know that their classmates see positive qualities in them, even if they aren't social butterflies. Stuff like that goes a long way toward reducing bullying (which we all know happens in the workplace, too--as Ducky--and a lot of the rest of us--can attest).
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
This is something I had been planning to incorporate into my new life. (That I don't have, or didn't go to plan even)
That act of giving without expectation. I've been doing it with relatives all my adult life but they tend to take the P'.
That act of giving without expectation. I've been doing it with relatives all my adult life but they tend to take the P'.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Not looking for recognition or a pat on the back. That's the part of not having someone else know, but also not wanting to be creepy-anonymous either!
Both intent and having no expectations seem to be good components of it. Simply sending some direct positive intent for someone.
Both intent and having no expectations seem to be good components of it. Simply sending some direct positive intent for someone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
I really work hard to do kind things.
I buy breakfast at McD a few times a month for the car behind me. I only go once a week, so it hasn't ever been more than a few dollars.
I also occasionally give bottled water to people out collecting money.
I leave my Aldis cart free...
I buy lunch at work for the person behind me on the rare times I eat in the cafeteria.
Sometimes I leave books free on the train or at church or in a doctor office. I just put a post it in the front page saying please take it... I take my magazines to my primary care office waiting room... I took some outgrown kid books in too! This also defeats clutter at home!
One thing i haven't done is to take balloons or frisbee to the park and just hand them out. One of these days I'll get to it.
I have taken light up bracelets to night races and fireworks and handed them out for free. Adults are so shocked to be offered something for free...
Have fun!
I buy breakfast at McD a few times a month for the car behind me. I only go once a week, so it hasn't ever been more than a few dollars.
I also occasionally give bottled water to people out collecting money.
I leave my Aldis cart free...
I buy lunch at work for the person behind me on the rare times I eat in the cafeteria.
Sometimes I leave books free on the train or at church or in a doctor office. I just put a post it in the front page saying please take it... I take my magazines to my primary care office waiting room... I took some outgrown kid books in too! This also defeats clutter at home!
One thing i haven't done is to take balloons or frisbee to the park and just hand them out. One of these days I'll get to it.
I have taken light up bracelets to night races and fireworks and handed them out for free. Adults are so shocked to be offered something for free...
Have fun!
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 588
Boy Lexie do I ever know about workplace bullies!! Lol! It's getting better though.
My daughter is an artist and she and her friends ,who I refer to as muppets due to their astounding range of hair colors, do free art day. They create little magnet art and buttons and leave them with a note on benches, in restaurants and other places. Each has a number and you can go to a webpage and see who made your art! So proud of that kid!
My daughter is an artist and she and her friends ,who I refer to as muppets due to their astounding range of hair colors, do free art day. They create little magnet art and buttons and leave them with a note on benches, in restaurants and other places. Each has a number and you can go to a webpage and see who made your art! So proud of that kid!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 50
Today I saw someone about to get a parking ticket so I ran up and fed the meter before the cop started writing the ticket up. I think my initial motivation was to one-up the cop, but after I did it, I felt so happy I saved someone from getting a thirty dollar ticket!
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