Complications from Newly Sober Spouse...advise Appreciated!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 273
Glad I could help. As I've said before I'm also an ACOA so I do truly get the anger here. I am very active in my women's recovery group and I do see the behavior you describe years after putting down the bottle. Most often those folks are the ones you read about relapsing again and again. However in all fairness if you were to judge me today by my behavior at four months sober its not a fair comparison. I think we, like you, deserve to be judged by our actions not stereotypes. People do recover and make the world a better place. I'd like to think that I am one of those folks yet... my sobriety is precious to me and I work hard at it every day. The problem is that there is no crystal ball to predict what the future holds and which camp your loved one will fall into. Living with uncertainty is tough yet it is what you're faced with unfortunately.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Southern gal
Posts: 229
I agree with Cookies 100 % about how there needs to be more resources for the families of A's , to help them all deal with a "new" life when the A becomes sober. It is scary and confusing, and hard.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by fairlyuncertain 
Rehab is like pregnancy. At the end, you have a beautiful miracle--that screams and yells and creates havoc in the house. NO, I'm not saying that a newly sober person is the baby. Sobriety itself is the baby. The sober person is like a new mom, just starting out this whole new life journey. There is no point, in parenthood or sobriety, or life, where we sit back and say 'there! All better now! I'm done!'
I think at some point, we get used to the work, and take joy in it. I don't know what it's like to come out of the fog of addiction, but I know the emotional and physical roller coaster of being a new parent, and how long it can take to regain some clarity. And how hard it was for people who hadn't experienced it to understand how overwhelming it can be. Your husband might find some great support in AA.
I really appreciate Al-Anon because it is a group of people that knows firsthand what living with alcoholism is like: whether it's a sober A, an active A, a long-gone parent, a child, a co-worker, or all of the above. It has helped me keep the focus on what's mine, and let the As find their recovery, their way.
I wish you and your husband the best of luck!
I think at some point, we get used to the work, and take joy in it. I don't know what it's like to come out of the fog of addiction, but I know the emotional and physical roller coaster of being a new parent, and how long it can take to regain some clarity. And how hard it was for people who hadn't experienced it to understand how overwhelming it can be. Your husband might find some great support in AA.
I really appreciate Al-Anon because it is a group of people that knows firsthand what living with alcoholism is like: whether it's a sober A, an active A, a long-gone parent, a child, a co-worker, or all of the above. It has helped me keep the focus on what's mine, and let the As find their recovery, their way.
I wish you and your husband the best of luck!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
