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For anyone who's ever been "choked"

Old 05-02-2015, 04:10 PM
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For anyone who's ever been "choked"

One of the other presenters at a training I did this week played this clip of Casey Gwinn, a former prosecutor from San Diego who is a leader in the DV community. Among his other accomplishments, he helped bring widespread attention to the dangers of non-fatal strangulation. Strangulation is not only a high indicator in any lethality risk assessment, but can cause death days, or even years, later.

I'm posting a link to the video (which is just him talking, there are no reenactments or other videos or photos) because I'd like for everyone to realize how incredibly dangerous these events are. As Casey explains, not only are the men who engage in these acts highly dangerous to their partners, but many of them wind up killing someone else--a police officer, a stranger, another family member.

Many victims (and even some law enforcement and medical professionals) don't realize how dangerous even temporary cutting off of blood or air to the brain (which happens even if you never lose consciousness) can be.

Casey Gwinn on strangulation.
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Old 05-03-2015, 07:09 AM
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Lexie.....thank you for posting this video. This is truly vital information and I think it is so important to spread the word.

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Old 05-03-2015, 07:24 AM
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Watching that was an eye opener to how lucky I am. I was with a man for 4 years who when he got angry became very physical, and a lot of times went straight for choking me. I remember on one occasion being choked until I was conscious, but unable to respond. My head was spinning and my eyes were closed, but I could hear what was happening around me. He was pacing the floor and then said, " How am I going to explain this." Not will she be okay, or what did I do? He was simply worried about how he would lie his way out of it. I had fingerprints around my neck for almost 2 weeks. I never really thought about the fact that he could have killed me. But after hearing that I thank god that I left him, and that I am here today. I hope more women see that, and realize just how dangerous putting up with abuse is.
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Old 05-03-2015, 07:33 AM
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Thank you Lexie!

I wish there were mini tasers for our self defense.
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Old 05-03-2015, 07:35 AM
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Chicory.......I think there are...... I mean, can't you buy them over the internet??
(I have not direct experience).

Of course.....they may not be "legal".......
LOL!....I am obviously out of my league, here....But, I sure do understand what you are saying, Chicory.

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Old 05-03-2015, 08:35 AM
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If your state doesn't already have a strangulation statute, this is a cause to rally behind. In many jurisdictions nonfatal strangulations are being charged as misdemeanor simple assaults. Even an ATTEMPT at strangulation should be treated, in all circumstances, as a felony, just like pointing a gun at someone or coming at them with a knife.

My own state, when I was a prosecutor, did not have (and still does not have) a strangulation statute. We used to charge it as the intermediate aggravated assault at the very least, and we had to do a lot of training of police officers to never EVER charge it as a simple assault.
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Old 05-03-2015, 08:59 AM
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Lexie you are awesome. Powerful post
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Old 05-03-2015, 09:04 AM
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Originally Posted by chicory View Post
...I wish there were mini tasers for our self defense.
There are, Chicory, call your local police department. Most of them give free classes on tasers, pepper spray and self defense. Some of the bigger ones give a bit of martial arts training too.

Mike
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Old 05-03-2015, 10:02 AM
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Thank you Lexie. I have been choked and it was probably one of the scariest experience in my life (and I am not a wimp by any means). Sadly enough, I still excused his actions on account of him being blackout drunk and having ptsd and I still stayed with him.
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Old 05-03-2015, 10:49 AM
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Originally Posted by DesertEyes View Post
There are, Chicory, call your local police department. Most of them give free classes on tasers, pepper spray and self defense. Some of the bigger ones give a bit of martial arts training too.

Mike
Just a couple of things. In some states (I live in one) tasers are illegal. They aren't even legal for the police here. Make sure you live in a state where they are legal--there's nothing a batterer would enjoy more than getting YOU arrested.

The other thing is that using weapons in self-defense is always tricky, and especially in DV situations. Even when you are legally justified in using it, you might wind up being arrested and charged--self-defense statutes are tricky and it's always best to avoid being in a situation where you have to physically defend yourself (which is why safety planning is so important).

I'm not suggesting for a second that someone NOT use whatever means are necessary to defend him/herself, but just pointing out some of the potential problems. There's also always the possibility that your attacker will manage to get it away from you and use it against you.

It's always preferable to plan not to be in a situation where self-defense (especially with need for weapons) will be necessary.

Be safe, everybody!
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Old 05-03-2015, 05:22 PM
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I work in an area with lots of crime and drug dealers about. I have to walk to my car in the dark, on my one night a week. I sometimes worry about someone breaking in to my home, although my neighborhood is peaceful. My son who lives here, is not always home.

I don't have a gun and won't, and I figure if I had a taser, I'd only hurt myself with it! being a clutz. I have taken a bit of self defense , but it was years ago. I just make sure to walk with someone else to my car.

I was choked once, but not to a point of severity, just for a few scary and painful seconds. I cannot imagine how frightening it would be if someone were to try to really hurt me that way. It broke surface veins under the skin on my neck and its been red since.. 9 years ago.

I do think pepper spray would be good to carry. my son in law is in law enforcement. I will ask him about our state laws on those things..

thanks Lexie. this is a good thread , preparedness is so important, especially for those in danger at home.I cannot imagine why it does not bring more serious charges!
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Old 05-03-2015, 06:12 PM
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Originally Posted by chicory View Post
I cannot imagine why it does not bring more serious charges!
I think it's exactly what Casey says in the video--there is a lack of awareness about how dangerous strangulation really is--how deadly, and how dangerous people who do it really are.

Everybody knows shooting is potentially deadly, and stabbing, but people think that if there are no visible marks or no loss of consciousness that it really wasn't that big a deal. It IS--it is a VERY big deal. It's why the education and awareness is so important. We do trainings that are focused JUST on investigating and prosecuting strangulation cases.
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Old 05-03-2015, 06:56 PM
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Thank you so much for posting this.

A friend of mines husband stranguled her while he was in blackout a few weeks ago. I have forwarded this to her.
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Old 05-03-2015, 07:25 PM
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Strangulation is a kill move. It's not a move one uses for defense.

Thanks for the reminder, Lexie.

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Old 05-04-2015, 06:30 AM
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Choking is very scary. I honestly felt several times it happened that I was in fact going to die. This is very serious stuff, thanks Lex!
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Old 05-04-2015, 10:27 AM
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You all think I should make this thread a sticky?

Mike
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Old 05-04-2015, 11:14 AM
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Originally Posted by DesertEyes View Post
You all think I should make this thread a sticky?

Mike
I vote yes!
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Old 05-04-2015, 11:27 AM
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My sister is police. I have two small tasers (she calls them babys lol), and pepper spray, both legal here. Wasp Spray will also act as pepper spray. I have a can in my closet by my front door, and one in my car.

She says the best advise she can ever give with either of these tools is not to use them as a threat. That if you are going to use them, do it, and run. Never ever get into the car with someone, no matter what. Even if they have to drag you down the road. If you use them as a threat, they are too easy to get them away from you and use them on you.

She has also advised myself and my daughters that they learned of the best deterrents if you are being attacked is a whistle. I bought little whistle keychains for my daughters and all of their friends. I won't let them leave my house w/out it. I also bought my eldest daughter pepper spray.

Also, the app ASPIRE for your Android or Apple phone is a wonderful tool. Check it out. It's totally free, and an app basically to help you in domestic abuse situations. I also have that on my daughter's phones and my own.

Thank you for sharing Lexie!
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Old 05-04-2015, 11:50 AM
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Originally Posted by DesertEyes View Post
You all think I should make this thread a sticky?

Mike
I say yes too.
Unfortunately it is not something uncommon.
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Old 05-04-2015, 11:51 AM
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yes Mike, I do!
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