The Proactive 12 Steps
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The Proactive 12 Steps
The Proactive Twelve Steps (printable) - Proactive Change
I ran across the link to this while I was reading some old threads in this forum, going back a few years. I think it may be part of the stuff posted under the Classic Reading Sticky above, but I searched through so many old threads I'm not sure how I found it now.
For anyone that struggles with the HP part of the steps or is looking to take religion/spirituality out of it altogether, this is a great alternative. The steps are basically re-written as a more actionable plan & personalized with a lot of "I" statements.
Here's a link to the page that describes the author's intentions about the changes:
Alternative higher power / inner power
Step 1:
I get it: What I’ve been doing is self-destructive. I need to change.
Original wording (AA):
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.
Codependency:
We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Generic version:
We admitted we were powerless over things we believed we should control -- that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 2:
I see the big picture: The way to stop relapsing into self-destructive behaviors is to build a healthier sense of self.
Original wording (AA):
Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Step 3:
I have an action plan: From now on, I am squarely facing everything that is in the way of feeling really satisfied with my life.
Original wording (AA):
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power as we understood this Higher Power.
Step 4:
I honestly look at the effects of my actions on others and myself.
Original wording (AA):
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 5:
I take responsibility for my actions.
Original wording (AA):
Admitted to our Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Step 6:
I see that my knee-jerk reactions have to do with being in the grip of more or less conscious fears.
Original wording (AA):
Were entirely ready to have our Higher Power remove all these defects of character.
Step 7:
I strive to find my motivation in a deeper sense of who I
really am, rather than fear and defensiveness.
Original wording (AA):
Humbly asked our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings.
Step 8:
I stop blaming and feeling blamed, with a willingness to heal the wounds.
Original wording (AA):
Made a list of all the people we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 9:
I swallow my pride, and sincerely apologize to people I've hurt, except when this would be counterproductive.
Original wording (AA):
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Step 10:
I live mindfully, paying attention to the motives and effects of my actions.
Original wording (AA):
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Step 11:
I stay in touch with a broader sense of who I really am, and a deeper sense of what I really want.
Original wording (AA):
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our Higher Power as we understood this Higher Power, praying only for knowledge of this Higher Power's will for us and the power to carry that out.
Step 12:
A growing sense of wholeness and contentment motivates me to keep at it, and to share this process with others who are struggling.
Original wording (AA & others):
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other (alcoholics, codependents, people who feel stuck...); and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
I ran across the link to this while I was reading some old threads in this forum, going back a few years. I think it may be part of the stuff posted under the Classic Reading Sticky above, but I searched through so many old threads I'm not sure how I found it now.
For anyone that struggles with the HP part of the steps or is looking to take religion/spirituality out of it altogether, this is a great alternative. The steps are basically re-written as a more actionable plan & personalized with a lot of "I" statements.
Here's a link to the page that describes the author's intentions about the changes:
Alternative higher power / inner power
Step 1:
I get it: What I’ve been doing is self-destructive. I need to change.
Original wording (AA):
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.
Codependency:
We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Generic version:
We admitted we were powerless over things we believed we should control -- that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 2:
I see the big picture: The way to stop relapsing into self-destructive behaviors is to build a healthier sense of self.
Original wording (AA):
Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Step 3:
I have an action plan: From now on, I am squarely facing everything that is in the way of feeling really satisfied with my life.
Original wording (AA):
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power as we understood this Higher Power.
Step 4:
I honestly look at the effects of my actions on others and myself.
Original wording (AA):
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 5:
I take responsibility for my actions.
Original wording (AA):
Admitted to our Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Step 6:
I see that my knee-jerk reactions have to do with being in the grip of more or less conscious fears.
Original wording (AA):
Were entirely ready to have our Higher Power remove all these defects of character.
Step 7:
I strive to find my motivation in a deeper sense of who I
really am, rather than fear and defensiveness.
Original wording (AA):
Humbly asked our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings.
Step 8:
I stop blaming and feeling blamed, with a willingness to heal the wounds.
Original wording (AA):
Made a list of all the people we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 9:
I swallow my pride, and sincerely apologize to people I've hurt, except when this would be counterproductive.
Original wording (AA):
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Step 10:
I live mindfully, paying attention to the motives and effects of my actions.
Original wording (AA):
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Step 11:
I stay in touch with a broader sense of who I really am, and a deeper sense of what I really want.
Original wording (AA):
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our Higher Power as we understood this Higher Power, praying only for knowledge of this Higher Power's will for us and the power to carry that out.
Step 12:
A growing sense of wholeness and contentment motivates me to keep at it, and to share this process with others who are struggling.
Original wording (AA & others):
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other (alcoholics, codependents, people who feel stuck...); and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
This is really a jewel. Thank you Firesprite. I have never struggled with the higher power part of the steps but many do. I am bookmarking it so I can pass it along and hopefully it will help others.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
FS, I really like those, have never seen them before. Kind of puts a whole new spin on things. As another member said, I'm going to bookmark those for future reference as well as print myself out a copy to post near my computer.
Thanks a lot!
ETA: I just found a free eBook download of The Proactive 12 Steps, if anyone is interested. http://proactivechange.com/books/proactive12steps.htm
You can get it for $3 for your Kindle or Nook.
Thanks a lot!
ETA: I just found a free eBook download of The Proactive 12 Steps, if anyone is interested. http://proactivechange.com/books/proactive12steps.htm
You can get it for $3 for your Kindle or Nook.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
FireSprite, your post set off a whole bunch of internet searching for me. I stumbled across this site https://realisticrecovery.wordpress.com/about/ which looks worth reading through. In addition to the "Proactive 12 Steps", it offers what it calls the "Realistic 12 Steps", a slightly different view again.
I also found this, which I downloaded. It looked like it could be useful and was free, so I'll peruse it more thoroughly in the days to come. Home Page | Journal for Recovery
Thanks for lighting a fire under me like that--it was an interesting and productive session of searching!
I also found this, which I downloaded. It looked like it could be useful and was free, so I'll peruse it more thoroughly in the days to come. Home Page | Journal for Recovery
Thanks for lighting a fire under me like that--it was an interesting and productive session of searching!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
LOTS of great stuff there Honeypig, thank you SO much!
The journal is very interesting to me, I type far faster than I write so I get frustrated with pen & paper journaling..... but it's definitely beneficial to my recovery. Something like this might work well for me since it's software to help you journal on the computer instead.
I've found quite a few great shares on the website you posted. My favorites so far are: "How & Why We Use 19 Common Defense Mechanisms" & "Early Addiction Recovery - Essential Things You Need To Know For Your Marriage to Survive Recovery". WOW.
The marriage/early recovery one is incredibly accurate to my experiences during that period, it's a great summary of what one can expect on BOTH sides of the street - the addict & the spouse (who are not always Codies).
And the "Adult Children of Alcoholics Bill of Rights".....
Spot on! I don't know how many more ways I can say it - GREAT STUFF!!
The journal is very interesting to me, I type far faster than I write so I get frustrated with pen & paper journaling..... but it's definitely beneficial to my recovery. Something like this might work well for me since it's software to help you journal on the computer instead.
I've found quite a few great shares on the website you posted. My favorites so far are: "How & Why We Use 19 Common Defense Mechanisms" & "Early Addiction Recovery - Essential Things You Need To Know For Your Marriage to Survive Recovery". WOW.
The marriage/early recovery one is incredibly accurate to my experiences during that period, it's a great summary of what one can expect on BOTH sides of the street - the addict & the spouse (who are not always Codies).
And the "Adult Children of Alcoholics Bill of Rights".....
Spot on! I don't know how many more ways I can say it - GREAT STUFF!!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Originally Posted by FireSprite 
The journal is very interesting to me, I type far faster than I write so I get frustrated with pen & paper journaling..... but it's definitely beneficial to my recovery. Something like this might work well for me since it's software to help you journal on the computer instead.
I have not read as extensively as you in that site and will need to spend more time there, too. You can never have too many sources of insight and wisdom, right??
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
I think that stuff is great, but having incorporated the steps in my life for many years, I'm not too sure about their relationship to the original message. Not saying there's anything wrong with them nor that they wouldn't be helpful in someone's life, but they're not in the spirit of how the steps have been beneficial to me. If I were to take God out of the picture and go along with the rewritten steps in the OP, I would change the following to this:
Step 2: There is hope, so long as I believe there is hope.
Step 3: I let go of control, and trust that I will be guided by my higher self.
Step 4: See no need to change the original.
Step 5: Accepted myself completely, and admitted my wrongs and secrets to another person.
Step 6: Were entirely ready to become the best person I could possibly be.
Step 7: Trusted that this entire process, and the continued practice of step 3 would heal me.
Step 8-9: Leave as the original.
Just my opinion, and a thinking/writing exercise for myself. Not looking to detract from the OP.
Step 2: There is hope, so long as I believe there is hope.
Step 3: I let go of control, and trust that I will be guided by my higher self.
Step 4: See no need to change the original.
Step 5: Accepted myself completely, and admitted my wrongs and secrets to another person.
Step 6: Were entirely ready to become the best person I could possibly be.
Step 7: Trusted that this entire process, and the continued practice of step 3 would heal me.
Step 8-9: Leave as the original.
Just my opinion, and a thinking/writing exercise for myself. Not looking to detract from the OP.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
You know Joe, as I was reading through all of these versions of the steps I thought, "Why has it never occurred to me to re-write my own steps?" It's exactly the type of exercise that appeals to me - personalizing the process so that I can relate to it better.
Then I thought, well, in the beginning I wouldn't have known enough about myself yet or worked through enough of my recovery to be able to clearly see the direction I was headed in. Ultimately, the steps ascend toward healing... a roadmap to where you want to end up; but early on I only would've been able to identify my damage, which is not always the same thing.
But now, 3 yrs+ into this stage of my life, I think it might be fun to give it a shot & interesting to see what bubbles up in my word selection, etc. I really like the way you restated Step 7, thanks for your input.
CodeJob - ugh, yeah. I read through that article like a checklist: Yep, yep, did that, that was me, yep, that happened, uh huh, yep, wish I'd known that.....
Then I thought, well, in the beginning I wouldn't have known enough about myself yet or worked through enough of my recovery to be able to clearly see the direction I was headed in. Ultimately, the steps ascend toward healing... a roadmap to where you want to end up; but early on I only would've been able to identify my damage, which is not always the same thing.
But now, 3 yrs+ into this stage of my life, I think it might be fun to give it a shot & interesting to see what bubbles up in my word selection, etc. I really like the way you restated Step 7, thanks for your input.
CodeJob - ugh, yeah. I read through that article like a checklist: Yep, yep, did that, that was me, yep, that happened, uh huh, yep, wish I'd known that.....
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 230
This was great. My AH struggles immensely with religion and the concepts of god or an hp. I can see him relating to this far better - it even adds to my own thought process of the steps.
And Joe I like your idea of personalization as an exercise in writing and introspection.
And Joe I like your idea of personalization as an exercise in writing and introspection.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Another Earth
Posts: 172
Oh, I really appreciate this, as I do attend and love Al Anon, but I do not believe in God in the Christian sense or that a higher power controls us. I've been struggling with this lately! I am printing out so much info from the links you shared. The Universe knew what I needed today 
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 187
Bumping this for 2016!
Thanks, FireSprite for your original post and for bringing it to my attention today. These steps along with the link in the replies to the Realistic Recovery sure should keep me busy reading for a while!
Thanks, FireSprite for your original post and for bringing it to my attention today. These steps along with the link in the replies to the Realistic Recovery sure should keep me busy reading for a while!
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