Not covering anymore!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 588
Not covering anymore!
I was thinking about a thread that was addressing how addicts can sometimes be threatened by us getting better and just when we think we are making progress they become worse or up and leave. The addict of course has to protect their behavior so of course shining any light makes them run.
This ability to "shine light" protect ourselves, find a voice and call people out on their crap has ramifications in all parts of life. I just spent at least an hour on the phone recently in a 4 way conference call discussing what should have been a great business opportunity. One of the principals was just not up to snuff. He had been dishonest, manipulative, disorganized, short-cutty, tried to keep people at different levels of information and was always full of excuses. He received a large sum of money that he was supposed to pay salaries with, but didn't. Still don't know where all of that money went.
After receiving a text that basically wanted me and another to cover his butt with the fourth party, I said enough. I told the fourth party, who was the major investor,exactly what was going on. Well, the volcano erupted and the deal is off. Of course I'm the bad one! Can't trust her with info! No, if that info is going to hurt me, drag me down, set me back, manipulate or try and entrap me or others, no you bloody well can't because I'm going to get on my roof and have a lovely little shout about it!
I'm done being lied to, manipulated, scammed, used, picked on or whatever you name it! I will not lie or cover up for people who can't just come clean! After ducky boy, his enabling mom, my drunken boss who I left my coke head boss for, I AM DONE! How much time did I spend covering, consoling, supporting running around like a madwoman for years only to my own hurt? No more! Because guess what ladies and germs, when the lie comes to light and it will, your ship will start to sink with theirs and they will give no F!
This ability to "shine light" protect ourselves, find a voice and call people out on their crap has ramifications in all parts of life. I just spent at least an hour on the phone recently in a 4 way conference call discussing what should have been a great business opportunity. One of the principals was just not up to snuff. He had been dishonest, manipulative, disorganized, short-cutty, tried to keep people at different levels of information and was always full of excuses. He received a large sum of money that he was supposed to pay salaries with, but didn't. Still don't know where all of that money went.
After receiving a text that basically wanted me and another to cover his butt with the fourth party, I said enough. I told the fourth party, who was the major investor,exactly what was going on. Well, the volcano erupted and the deal is off. Of course I'm the bad one! Can't trust her with info! No, if that info is going to hurt me, drag me down, set me back, manipulate or try and entrap me or others, no you bloody well can't because I'm going to get on my roof and have a lovely little shout about it!
I'm done being lied to, manipulated, scammed, used, picked on or whatever you name it! I will not lie or cover up for people who can't just come clean! After ducky boy, his enabling mom, my drunken boss who I left my coke head boss for, I AM DONE! How much time did I spend covering, consoling, supporting running around like a madwoman for years only to my own hurt? No more! Because guess what ladies and germs, when the lie comes to light and it will, your ship will start to sink with theirs and they will give no F!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 76
I agree! It's so freeing - and finding out that people believe me was amazing. Now anytime the anxiety about his crap builds, I spill it all out to a couple of friends and I feel much better. And when the A is so deceptive, it feels good to know that others are now aware of their lies too - they don't feel like such a web wrapped around you anymore.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 273
Good for you. Not to be a crabby patty but this goes two ways as well. Part of recovery for many "A's" is also learning how to stand our ground. I can't tell you how many people in my women's recovery group have had "failure to set boundaries" as a drinking trigger. Get exhausted, give in to things, and then turn to the bottle for solace. Without that standby we are forced to change certain patterns within ourselves. This "boundaries" thing seems to be a human issue not just an issue with alcohol or friends and family.
Peace,
Peace,
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 412
Originally Posted by lucybb 
I agree! It's so freeing - and finding out that people believe me was amazing. Now anytime the anxiety about his crap builds, I spill it all out to a couple of friends and I feel much better. And when the A is so deceptive, it feels good to know that others are now aware of their lies too - they don't feel like such a web wrapped around you anymore.
My friends and Mum believe and support me so... Plus the people at Al Anon.
It's hard when others don't see it though because he is deceptive. And goodness knows what he has told others about me in order to protect the addiction.
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