Phase #5687: Passive Aggression
 

Just when you think you got 'em figured out....

I never thought of my STBXAH as being passive aggressive before, but lately he's been showing signs that this may be a new phase he's entering into.

It's very subtle, and annoying. Today I got and email from him regarding our daughter and his GI Bill Tuition Reimbursement Plan. "Geez, I haven't heard from Lil' Karma in a while. I guess she doesn't want the money." He sent her a text as well that said something similarly snippy. This sort of thing has been happening more and more frequently.

They're theoretically suppose to get together to discuss all the ins and outs of how the GI Bill will work, but time goes by and they never get together. He's trying to make it out that it's her failing, not his.

But, he's the dad. Yes, she needs to be more proactive regarding her education, but he still needs to be the one to initiate the contact. He abandoned her time and again for alcohol and women, and she's only just beginning to climb out from that, and let him back in. Why be stupid and irritate her? It's not like she could contact him anyway. He's been out of town for the past few weeks visiting his girlfriends family. Out of town over his daughters 18th birthday I might add. Where does he come off copping an attitude?

Uggh.

Irritating passive aggression aside, my reason for posting is this: Every so often I'll see a post by someone who will talk about dealing with their addicts addiction at a particular stage, not fully grasping the concept that it is progressive. Well, I've been dealing with this addiction animal for a quarter of a century now. It's a constantly moving target. You think you got 'em figured out, but you ain't got em figured out. The progression can take you down pathways that you didn't even know existed.I prepared myself for all sorts of End of Days scenarios regarding his drinking, but him irritating the h*ll out of me with subtle little passive aggressive jabs was not one of them. My daughter thinks he's mimicking what his girlfriend says. I typically wouldn't want to go there, but I think she may be right. My STBXAH suffers increasingly from cognitive issues, and I think he may be letting someone else do the "thinking" for him. Whatever. I just hope this phase goes by quickly.