lazydaisy67

I am a control freak. There, I admitted it. I just got done talking (PM'd on Facebook) with my daughter. I am SOO angry with her that I was sarcastic, which I've been told is being controlling. 3 days after 90 day in patient rehab, she runs off with some guy she barely knows. They're living in a house that should be condemned and she's using every day. No job, no car. I signed her up last fall to take her ACT in the hopes that just maybe she would take it and become encouraged to try taking some college classes. I gave her the instructions on how to print what she needed, I offered to take her to the courthouse so she could renew her drivers license, which she needed. Asked her if she's ready for her test tomorrow and she said "Oh, is that tomorrow? Guess not, lol." $55 deposit lost on that one.
I invited her to come with us to my parents for Easter dinner. I told her if she wanted to come, we had to leave by 8:30. She said ok and we waited until 9:00, tried calling and texting and no answer. Finally had to leave without her. My 84 year old mother was in tears because she didn't come. She's got some dementia and can't understand things very well, so I didn't want to go into a big story about how DD moved out and is using again. I was handing out her senior pictures to the family and found myself wanting to dodge their questions and lie about her because frankly, I am deeply ashamed at the choices she is making right now. I also had to tell my family that we made a decision not to have a graduation party for her because it costs a lot of money and she told me she wasn't sure if she would be there so I cancelled the reservation I had at the reception hall and lost my deposit. We don't have a lot of money and it's kind of a big deal to lose that.
I know we shouldn't compare our kids to other people's kids but I can't help it. I am jealous of the other kids who are graduating and going to their senior proms and planning to head to college.

INgal

Daisy, my heart aches for you. I have wasted sooooo much money, time, and effort over the years. I also dread when people ask about my son. And I too am incredibly jealous of people with normal lives. All of that being said, trust the people on here when they say to stop enabling, and get yourself to AlAnon or NarAnon. You need to save your sanity and your family from what she is doing to it. Let the whole college thing go. She will do it when she is ready. Please stay in touch and hang in there. We understand.