Made it through the 30 days no contact
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Yuma AZ
Posts: 21
Made it through the 30 days no contact
So I sold my truck and trailer and blew the doors off leaving the town where we lived together. I moved in with my daughter and took her up on her offer of a job. Things are going really good here. As I type this I am past the 30 days of no contact. I feel so much better. I am by no means completely over him, BUT, It is easier to get through the day, I am not constantly looking over my shoulder when I am out.... scared ****-less that I will run into him. I finally feel like I can breathe again. My life is going so much better now. I am busy and don't really have the time to set and think about him and dwell on what or WHO he is doing, although he does cross my mind, usually what I feel for him now is pity, not love or hate, pity that he is so terribly screwed up in the head and either doesn't see it or doesn't care. Pity for his next victim. She may not have skills to handle his volatile behavior, and it may cost her her life. I am feeling sadness on occasion to, sadness for the man I THOUGHT he was but, That he couldn't seem to truly live up to, sadness for the loss of what I THOUGHT was the love of my life. AND, sadness that I wasted so many years on the promise of a living amends, that he either couldn't or wouldn't deliver
He is still on one of My face book pages however. I went in there the other day, and he had posted likes for about a hundred sick and twisted sex sites. My first thought was well he traded on addiction for another, and I actually felt sorry for him. Sorry that he has to resort to places like that to feel whole. My daughter said it a week attempt at trying to get attention from me, well he failed miserably, I did not acknowledge him directly, and will not. I didn't post anything that said Hey you are really scraping the bottom of the barrel, or that said how nasty it was and tagged him, which I would have done not so long ago. What I did do was post that someone was a sick M>>> Fer. no tag but as far as I am concerned, If the shoe fits he can lace that bitch up and wear it. He has been posting stuff that is most probably about letting go of the " bad stuff in his life, and I have not responded to those. No need.... because they do apply. They apply because I am the one that got rid of the zero.
Maybe one day I will find my hero, but for now I am completely content to live just as I am. I have 4 beautiful grandsons to love, and I get more than my share of hugs, My beautiful daughter is my rock and my cheerleader all in one, she is also my conscience, and my sounding board. Her husband is a nice man that gives me hope that there really are nice guys still left in this world.
So there you have it, an Honest look at what 42 days with no contact looks like.
He is still on one of My face book pages however. I went in there the other day, and he had posted likes for about a hundred sick and twisted sex sites. My first thought was well he traded on addiction for another, and I actually felt sorry for him. Sorry that he has to resort to places like that to feel whole. My daughter said it a week attempt at trying to get attention from me, well he failed miserably, I did not acknowledge him directly, and will not. I didn't post anything that said Hey you are really scraping the bottom of the barrel, or that said how nasty it was and tagged him, which I would have done not so long ago. What I did do was post that someone was a sick M>>> Fer. no tag but as far as I am concerned, If the shoe fits he can lace that bitch up and wear it. He has been posting stuff that is most probably about letting go of the " bad stuff in his life, and I have not responded to those. No need.... because they do apply. They apply because I am the one that got rid of the zero.
Maybe one day I will find my hero, but for now I am completely content to live just as I am. I have 4 beautiful grandsons to love, and I get more than my share of hugs, My beautiful daughter is my rock and my cheerleader all in one, she is also my conscience, and my sounding board. Her husband is a nice man that gives me hope that there really are nice guys still left in this world.
So there you have it, an Honest look at what 42 days with no contact looks like.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Yuma AZ
Posts: 21
I will not say it was easy!
But, I made it through it, and I feel so much stronger for it.
The fact that I moved from the town we lived in and changed my phone number ( actually I bought a new phone, with a completely different company than we were using when we were together)
I am sure he could find me if he were to really put any effort into it, BUT he has convinced himself that I was the one that was the bad person in our relationship. Well, I hope his delusion keeps him all warm and cozy at night, Ala-non taught me that It is NOT my business what other people think of me. Their opinions don't matter. What does matter is what I can do for myself, and how I can improve my life. Being rid of him once and for all is the best thing that has ever happened for me in the entirety of our relationship.
The fact that I moved from the town we lived in and changed my phone number ( actually I bought a new phone, with a completely different company than we were using when we were together)
I am sure he could find me if he were to really put any effort into it, BUT he has convinced himself that I was the one that was the bad person in our relationship. Well, I hope his delusion keeps him all warm and cozy at night, Ala-non taught me that It is NOT my business what other people think of me. Their opinions don't matter. What does matter is what I can do for myself, and how I can improve my life. Being rid of him once and for all is the best thing that has ever happened for me in the entirety of our relationship.
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