How powerful is denial?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
My ex routinely drinks and gets drunk at events or places that don't have alcohol. If a person wants to drink they will do it. And she has a right to drink as much as she wants whenever she wants. She is an adult over 21.
If that behavior isn't acceptable to you, then think about what you want your boundaries to be.
If that behavior isn't acceptable to you, then think about what you want your boundaries to be.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Welcome to SR. I'm sorry for what brings you here, yet very glad you found us! Please keep posting.
Counting your own drinks, justifying, self-limiting, etc. can also be signs of early alcoholism. Maybe something to consider, is alcohol causing more problems than what you're aware of?
Yes, denial is a huge part of the disease in both alcoholism and codependency. I've found Alanon to be life-changing. The hardest part was getting through the door. It still took me a long time to truly start working the steps and get a sponsor. Yes, denial can be huge. I marvel at my own denial more than my husband's now.
I'm now learning how wonderful life is and so very thankful for my own journey in this. I can't control, change or cure my husband's disease. There ARE many things I can do to improve my own life.
Miracles do happen and people find recovery every day. Without interference.
Counting your own drinks, justifying, self-limiting, etc. can also be signs of early alcoholism. Maybe something to consider, is alcohol causing more problems than what you're aware of?
Yes, denial is a huge part of the disease in both alcoholism and codependency. I've found Alanon to be life-changing. The hardest part was getting through the door. It still took me a long time to truly start working the steps and get a sponsor. Yes, denial can be huge. I marvel at my own denial more than my husband's now.
I'm now learning how wonderful life is and so very thankful for my own journey in this. I can't control, change or cure my husband's disease. There ARE many things I can do to improve my own life.
Miracles do happen and people find recovery every day. Without interference.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,426
As a former drinker myself, I respectfully suggest she is drinking but hiding it.
She will quite likely have a hidden stash with her at her mom's house, and will
drink it mixed or in the bathroom, etc.
She may be avoiding sleeping with you so you can't smell it due to lack of proximity.
More will be revealed.
Sounds like you have a good attitude about this, which is great.
I think you were spot on about her problem drinking so she's taking it underground.
Just what I did.
She will quite likely have a hidden stash with her at her mom's house, and will
drink it mixed or in the bathroom, etc.
She may be avoiding sleeping with you so you can't smell it due to lack of proximity.
More will be revealed.
Sounds like you have a good attitude about this, which is great.
I think you were spot on about her problem drinking so she's taking it underground.
Just what I did.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
As a former drinker myself, I respectfully suggest she is drinking but hiding it.
She will quite likely have a hidden stash with her at her mom's house, and will
drink it mixed or in the bathroom, etc.
She may be avoiding sleeping with you so you can't smell it due to lack of proximity.
More will be revealed.
Sounds like you have a good attitude about this, which is great.
I think you were spot on about her problem drinking so she's taking it underground.
Just what I did.
She will quite likely have a hidden stash with her at her mom's house, and will
drink it mixed or in the bathroom, etc.
She may be avoiding sleeping with you so you can't smell it due to lack of proximity.
More will be revealed.
Sounds like you have a good attitude about this, which is great.
I think you were spot on about her problem drinking so she's taking it underground.
Just what I did.
There are a lot of things I don't miss about drinking but the planning , lieing and conniving were high on the list
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