About to step foot in alanon....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Maryland
Posts: 178
About to step foot in alanon....
I haven't been to a church in years, I'm nervous!! I don't know these ppl and I'm hoping they're just as nice as you all here. I've hid behind a computer screen for too long, it's time to go out and interact face to face!
SO NERVOUS THOUGH- what should I expect???!
Pray that I actually go into the church...
SO NERVOUS THOUGH- what should I expect???!
Pray that I actually go into the church...
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
It's not usually "in the church" as in, in the sanctuary. It's usually in a basement or classroom or meeting room. And there might be the Serenity Prayer (or even the Lord's Prayer), but that is about all the "religious" stuff you will hear. There's talk about God, but it's in terms of "as you understand God," which might be the power of the universe or the power of the group.
Usually there are a few readings, and then there will be discussion about something that you read, or on a specific topic someone has chosen, or they might just go around the room and take turns sharing (it's fine to "pass" if you don't feel like talking). Generally "cross talk" is frowned upon--that's a direct response to what someone else has shared--we don't give advice in the meetings, we share our experience, strength, and hope. People usually only share once during the course of the meeting. Once the meeting is over (or before it starts) you're free to talk about anything you want, however you want. The conventions, which most groups follow, are to be sure everyone gets a chance to speak and to be listened to. No judgments, no advice. People can privately ask for or give advice outside of the meeting itself.
I think you'll find it a nice experience--most people do.
Usually there are a few readings, and then there will be discussion about something that you read, or on a specific topic someone has chosen, or they might just go around the room and take turns sharing (it's fine to "pass" if you don't feel like talking). Generally "cross talk" is frowned upon--that's a direct response to what someone else has shared--we don't give advice in the meetings, we share our experience, strength, and hope. People usually only share once during the course of the meeting. Once the meeting is over (or before it starts) you're free to talk about anything you want, however you want. The conventions, which most groups follow, are to be sure everyone gets a chance to speak and to be listened to. No judgments, no advice. People can privately ask for or give advice outside of the meeting itself.
I think you'll find it a nice experience--most people do.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Well, if that happens, you will be in good company. Lots of people have that reaction at their first meeting. If you break down, someone will pass you a tissue. Eventually--maybe not at this meeting, but soon--you will be able to speak. Trust me on that one.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Rapid City, MI
Posts: 214
True, that. I didn't speak until my 4th meeting, got a little blubbery, and felt such relief afterwards. I felt relief after the first meeting, too, with the realization that I was in the right place. Just go and listen. It's worth it even if it turns out not to be right for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Maryland
Posts: 178
So I actually found some strength to introduce myself and share why I was there- included a bit about my background. I stepped out of there feeling refreshed. I was most definitely the youngest one there. They were all so welcoming and hug-friendly. I am so happy to have stepped out of my comfort zone by going! 
Thanks guys
Thanks guys
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