I did it
 

after a lot of contemplation and going back and forth with myself :) I have decided to do no contact. I am day 1 into it.

Thanks for all your support guys. It has been one heck of a month. I am just getting my wits about me finally. :)

You're doing great!

Hi Daydreamer.

Great. I am here to listen and support.

Glad to hear you are getting your wits about you.

i literally thought I could not breathe, I know that is crazy. But a little background : he broke up with me in feb, he is sober and found someone in rehab. he has been wanting to maintain a friendship and has been texting and calling. I thought I could handle it, but truthfully, I cannot. So, I pushed the block button today. It hurts, it sucks. He has tried to call twice and leave a text but I don't receive them. The phone just deletes them. But it tells you that it did it. I know it is the right thing to do.

Keep on keeping on!

You are doing the right thing! Blocking him is like taking a jet to a peaceful state, rather than walking. (((HUGS)))

Wow!! You are so brave! If your instincts are telling you enough is enough, then it is definitely the right thing to do.

Just remember this-- come back to THIS thread often, because soon you will begin doubting and maybe even losing your resolve. COME BACK and read your own threads. That is what I do when I'm feeling weak and lonely. I just come back and read my own thoughts and experiences about him and the memories just come flooding back.... Then I remember the WHY. I allow myself to revisit the pain, that way I can push on.

You are thing to do great! Ave you are doing the right thing. I don't know this person, but I do know that our instincts are generally pretty accurate and if you feel now is the time, then I would run with it.

Hugs!!!

Good work. I've had to go no contact with several of my old friends because their behavior was toxic, addictive, or otherwise yucky, and then in a weird twist of fate I had two friends from my distant past look me up this year and demand my attention. I also remained no contact with them, except in the case of the one that is a known alcoholic, who I told I hoped was well and sober, but that I have no interest in speaking to him and not to contact me again.

I don't have any regrets about it at all, and in fact I'm more at ease and have a lot less anxiety in my social life.

You can do this however you want. Do what makes you feel at peace with yourself.

daydreamer, I have contemplated this but I am not ready. HUGS to you, as you are very brave. I too just went through a breakup in March and he's already found someone else (not to mention, she has her doctorate and he loves bragging about it to his mommy..and his mommy gets excited because she is not "bar trash")...anyways besides that, I broke down and visited him this past weekend and I am now more confused than ever because we slept together, and continued our relationship in resume. But now that I am back in my own apartment and it is not the weekend anymore, I see that he was just using me and all of the negative thoughts/feelings come flooding back in.

I didn't block him but I am making no effort to contact him. If he contacts me, that is when I have the most trouble. I have a hard time putting my phone down, and looking at the clock and saying, "hmm its 4, that means he is still at school so i don't have to worry." This is not healthy, and I know this. But at least I am not contacting him first everytime I think/wonder what he is doing.

I am happy that you have made the decision- I hope to also really soon! HUGS

thanks guys and Red, it will happen, you will get there. I didnt think I could . we grew up together. Have the same friends, his parents and my mom are best friends. It is a whole lotta crap. But you will reach a point where you say NO MORE,, I just can not do another minute. another hour, another day. I am done. you will feel sad, and scared and all sorts of things. But your heart will feel lighter

DD- Make sure you keep coming back for "booster" shots from us. It will hurt and hurt bad. Its kind of like going through withdrawal.

Stay strong and busy. Every day you will get stronger, new new contact is no new hurts!!
(((hugs)))))


RedDog- You will get there when you are ready. Take your time, don't force a solution, as it won't work then. In time you will do what you have to do!!

((((hugs)))))))

Kick ass? Check! Take names? Check! :You_Rock_

Coming on here to support you and say that YOU CAN DO IT! Keep it up and take it one day at a time!

Stay Strong ... no new contact no new hurts ! Dandylion has written this several times. I used to think of it literally. No new contact and my xabf could not hurt me again with words. But now I have figured out , it's not about my xabf , it is about me. If I have no new contact then I have nothing new to hurt myself over , no obsessing about what I said , no more hurt that he didn't say or do what I was hoping he would, no more fear of is he going to call me? , worringing if it ok for me to call , will I look needy if I call ect ect ect ....

The times I have flaked and allowed contact were all I needed go to NC and KNOW that it's the right thing for me. Stay strong and return for support as needed!

There are people who can walk away from you…let them walk. You don’t want to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you…your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. It doesn’t mean that they are a bad person; it just means that their part in your story is over.

We do what we need to do in order to survive so that we can thrive.

Blocking him is what you need to do right now so that you can survive, grieve and move on to the next chapter in your story.

((hugs))

thanks guys. I really thought I could handle him calling me and texting and that we could be "just" friends. He tried for a bit, he really did. But I can not do it, the hurt was just too much. I had to just break free from him.