Need the process for letting go
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: vinton, la
Posts: 38
Need the process for letting go
I am struggling with the concept of letting go. I try and I end up just getting in God's way. I try to take it back. I know that it takes practice but it is so hard. Maybe its because it is my natural instinct to worry and to try to fix things on my own. I was wondering if any of you had any tricks that helped to make this easier for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Oregon
Posts: 80
Hi heartbroke!
I know what you mean. It's so hard to let go of worry and control. I find myself slipping all the time and trying to control the uncontrolable. What helps me is .....Hobbies! I've been reconnecting with my friends, making time for the things I like to do. Focusing on my children. I find if I keep myself busy I have less time to fix/think/dwell on my addict.
Hugs!
Marci
I know what you mean. It's so hard to let go of worry and control. I find myself slipping all the time and trying to control the uncontrolable. What helps me is .....Hobbies! I've been reconnecting with my friends, making time for the things I like to do. Focusing on my children. I find if I keep myself busy I have less time to fix/think/dwell on my addict.
Hugs!
Marci
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Star's Hollow
Posts: 615
heartbroke -
I think for me the real letting go started when I really understood that what I was doing wasn't doing anyone any good - especially not myself.
I had been worrying and trying to control outcomes and trying to fix everything for years. Nothing had changed.
I decided that I would try something different for a while. I didn't commit to doing it forever. What a difference in my life !
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is crazy. That's where I was - crazy.
L
I think for me the real letting go started when I really understood that what I was doing wasn't doing anyone any good - especially not myself.
I had been worrying and trying to control outcomes and trying to fix everything for years. Nothing had changed.
I decided that I would try something different for a while. I didn't commit to doing it forever. What a difference in my life !
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is crazy. That's where I was - crazy.
L
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: phoenix, arizona
Posts: 19
Something that really works for me is praying for the person I am obsessing over.
Staying in meetings and other Alanon functions has done wonders for me as well. I do a lot of service work too. I always sign up to clean up or read the steps or something at each event to make sure I go. I will talk myself out of anything, I love my obsessions so much. So I stay busy.
I read everything I could find on the 3rd step too. And of course the many written inventories I have had to do on situations have helped tremendously. My sponsor has me do many fourth steps a year. Whenever I get too obsessed about any one situation or person it's time for an inventory. I do them straight from the Big Book of AA. Resentment, cause, affect, and my part. Then I do steps 6, 7, 8, and 9 if need be. By the time I do all this work, God has worked a miracle somewhere.
Good luck to you~ (((Hugs)))
Staying in meetings and other Alanon functions has done wonders for me as well. I do a lot of service work too. I always sign up to clean up or read the steps or something at each event to make sure I go. I will talk myself out of anything, I love my obsessions so much. So I stay busy.
I read everything I could find on the 3rd step too. And of course the many written inventories I have had to do on situations have helped tremendously. My sponsor has me do many fourth steps a year. Whenever I get too obsessed about any one situation or person it's time for an inventory. I do them straight from the Big Book of AA. Resentment, cause, affect, and my part. Then I do steps 6, 7, 8, and 9 if need be. By the time I do all this work, God has worked a miracle somewhere.
Good luck to you~ (((Hugs)))
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
I can say one prayer for my H and even give myself 10 mimutes to worry and obsess over him maybe even write something down then I am done it is time to move on to something else. When obsessive thoughts try to take over I say no to myself and remind myself I already did that and now I have to find something else to think about or do. It took a while and I am still not perfect at it but, I do not spend near as much time with worry and obsession about him that I used to do. Now there are times when I actually forget to obsess over him and the trench is being filled in....
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
I reason it out. Give it to God and reason it out more and give it back to God again and reason it out again.
Have found when the thing I have worried over has passed. I either had no reason to worry or even if I had full knowledge... I have no tools that could change what would or could happen.
God has shown me enough times...time and time again...
I can trust Him. He has never failed me. He never will. His ways work. His ways are best. He is bigger then me and can handle anything I could ever give Him.
Have found when the thing I have worried over has passed. I either had no reason to worry or even if I had full knowledge... I have no tools that could change what would or could happen.
God has shown me enough times...time and time again...
I can trust Him. He has never failed me. He never will. His ways work. His ways are best. He is bigger then me and can handle anything I could ever give Him.
Barn Goddess
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Southern NJ
Posts: 250
Visualizations
OK, this may sound hokey but... :shrug: color me hokey!
What I do when things are getting the best of me, is to use visualizations...
In my case I have a huge wheelbarrow, a wall, and on the other side of the wall are huge hands... into the wheelbarrow, I place all of the things/people/whatever that I'm concerned (read: obssessed) with. My b/f, his drinking, etc. -- basically it's all of those things that I have no control over... Anyway, once everyone and everything is placed in the wheelbarrow, I wheel it over to the other side of the wall and dump the contents into the huge hands. It is my way of giving my concerns to my HP and placing them in his/her hands, which allows me to let go (most of the time).
Marti
What I do when things are getting the best of me, is to use visualizations...
In my case I have a huge wheelbarrow, a wall, and on the other side of the wall are huge hands... into the wheelbarrow, I place all of the things/people/whatever that I'm concerned (read: obssessed) with. My b/f, his drinking, etc. -- basically it's all of those things that I have no control over... Anyway, once everyone and everything is placed in the wheelbarrow, I wheel it over to the other side of the wall and dump the contents into the huge hands. It is my way of giving my concerns to my HP and placing them in his/her hands, which allows me to let go (most of the time).
Marti
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