daydreamer0217

My ex called me this morning. He has been looking for a place to live and a job. He has been at this house for homeless Vets , they help them look for jobs and places to live. He is having a hard time, and he only has a couple of weeks left there before they ask him to leave, you can only stay for 60 and he has stayed almost 90. He was in a down mood. He can't pass any background checks because he has such bad credit. and he isn't bondable or insurable. He can't find a good place to live for his kids to come visit because the only places that will take him are not fit for kids coming to visit. He was going on and on... and I have a friend that does leasing and I know people that own apts. I "ALMOST" offered to help him. I caught myself and stopped. He has to do this on his own, and I need to let him.

Back away Miss Codependent.

~~ on a side note~~

alcoholism destroys so much. He lost his house, his job, all those things, his kids respect, his own dignity. But another side effect people don't talk about enough is finances. He used to be a teacher at a university. Now he can't find a place to live or a job even at minimum wage. His credit is ruined. Just a side note .

freetosmile

Alcoholism is so progressive and devastating. I'm so glad your stopped yourself!!! My A financially wrecked us on many occasions and it was a long time recovering from it.

Keep up the good work!!!
Hugs

Tentindependent

What a lot of quack!

I'm confused. He's your ex and he left you for someone else. Why is he whining to you and not the new woman?
As for 'kids not being able to visit', I'm under the impression from your previous posts that they want nothing to do with him.

atalose

A very wise decision and a leap forward in your own recovery.

In my old ways I destroyed more friendships/acquaintance relationships with “my helping” the addict because eventually the addicts behavior then caused them undue stress and financial burdens.

daydreamer0217

yeah, you are right, he is seeing someone else. But he calls me every day or leaves a text. He is trying to maintain a friendship with me. Don't ask. I know....

and yes, his kids want nothing to do with him. They are 11 and 13. But he is hopeful that if he gets a place and gets his act together, that they will change. He is trying to prove he has changed and they can trust him. I don't know more about it than what he has told me, so that is only his side of it all.

Duckygirl1

Well, done! Let the new girl help him. He should have been planning his exist from the VA center on day one knowing that the clock was ticking. Now he's in crisis mode and falling back on someone he betrayed. He's going to sink or swim on his own, just not in your pool!

Refiner

There's always the Mission. Just sayin'.

daydreamer0217

yep refiner ^ the VA told him he isn't getting more chances with them, I guess he has been to rehab for alcohol/ptsd too many times? I don't know honestly how it works. But I know in the last 16 months he has been in detox at the VA every other month, and in rehab 4 times since I have been with him, and I think arrested 5 or more times.