givingup

Now there is nothing you can do to stop that drama - he may drink, he may use, he may cheat and he may not. What you can do is to take this quiet time and make some plans for yourself and your daughter. Don't waste your precious time. He is not paying rent for that space he is occupying in your mind. Evict him from your head for at least this weekend and let the good stuff have space to breathe.

ASpouse

Stop checking ..... put this out of your mind for the next 48 hours. This is your time, not time to be occupied with thoughts of him.

Gracey

Well I am home now and he is gone.............I came home and invited my daughter and my son out to dinner...........my daughter accepted, but my son thought spending the time with his best friend was cooler........so I left him there and my daughter and I had a great dinner.......I have a little time to kill before I go to my alanon meeting so I thought i would check things out here a bit in between do a couple of loads of laundry.......I am really okay.......I have thought about him a bit......obviously.......lol but I am looking forward to my meeting..........I am letting go and letting God........

Karivan

(((Breec)))) I feel for you and your daughter. Listen, you don't have to apologize for your daughters messiness. Who isn't messy at some time? A normal person wouldn't have smashed all her makeup... a normal person wouldn't have manhandled you that way. She sounds like a great girl and a "NORMAL" teenager. My sisters and I were really messy when we were teenagers and my parents never got physical with us. It doesn't matter that he built the bathroom. It's your house as well as his. It's your bathroom, it's your daughters bathroom, it's your son's bathroom!!! It's not your A's bathroom because he did some work on it. He abused both of you over something really trivial.

Stand up for yourself, Breec. You're stronger than you know.

Gracey

I am home again from my meeting..............I tried not to focus on him tonight........I took my daughter to dinner..........I went to my alanon meeting.........I came home and he still is not here.........

When does this pain go away.............Why am I hurting so bad right now........I know that i cant hope and I know that I cant expect.........I really didnt hope and expect he would be here when I got home........and he is not.........why do I feel like my world is crashing on me.......how do I pretend to be happy when he gets home..........How can I not let this bother me.........am I suppose to pretend that everything is okay??????? I know that I dont want to fight.........I just dont want the pain anymore......

Karivan

Breec... I don't know what to say... You will survive this. Pray for strength... Pray for his will... Pray for peace... I wish all of those for you.

givingup

Breec - I know that desperate feeling that is growing inside of you. I have felt it many times. I think it comes from feeling out of control when you desperately want some control. And it is so true that peace only comes by letting go.

For 3 days last week I didn't have cell phone service at the remote place where I was working. In that quiet, when I wasn't any longer anxiously waiting for his call to let me know he was sober or not, I found peace. I wasn't caught up in the chaos. I could be quiet with myself and in that quiet I found strength.

I know it is hard not to worry but remember that worry is just creativity gone wrong. Use that creativity to decide how you want to live your life and how you are going to make it happen. If you must start with the what ifs, at least take them to the finish line -- and the finish line is always that you will survive, you will be alright, no matter what happens to him.

I will add you to my prayers tonight.