gleefan

I am a recovering alcoholic, 13 months sober, and my husband is a drinker. Over this past year his drinking has bothered me a lot, and I recently realized that I don't need to be held to the decision to marry an alcoholic that I made as a budding alcoholic myself.

I know that my doesn't have to revolve around drinking anymore, that I don't need to be a good sport about my husband's drinking or our friends'. I deserve to be sober and happy.

I find my thoughts racing into forward motion, like the future can't come fast enough. I'm practically living there, and got my new life planned out. I feel like it's a giant red flag. Has this happened to anyone else?

Any advice on how to uphold my boundaries while keeping my side of the street clean, and allowing life to happen as it should, peacefully??

lillamy

You wouldn't have to stick by that decision even if you hadn't been an alcoholic.

How do you not future-trip? Maybe by living in today. By enjoying the sunshine, the cup of coffee in front of you, maybe? Or maybe the positive future-tripping is your brain's way of telling you that you're ready to move on?

Kboys

Oh gosh, I do this so much lately too. I fantasize ALL the time about what my "new" life will be like when I am not with AH anymore . And yet I'm not making and moves, any final decisions... yet. Then I get down on myself for not just bucking up and doing it already.

But I've been trying to just be patient with myself, and know that I WILL make the decision that needs to be made when the time is right, and when I'm truly ready.

And, like Lill said, just trying to enjoy what is, for now. Savor the happy moments.

You DO deserve to be sober and happy

Duckygirl1

Well, done on the clean time! You deserve to be free of addiction and have a clean environment. If this were the other way around. What would you want him to do? Have you talked about how you feel when he is able to listen? Life doesn't get better just because you're sober and free to rebuild. It just means you're theoretically better able to handle it. Right now your eyes are clear and you're a kid in life's candy store. You want to "catch up" on living the life addiction stole from you. I get it.

One of the issues that I see in addicts is the inability to simply "be". Not move, not seek the next new exciting thing, just be in the present with themselves. It's not easy. But it is essential to growth and perspective. Without those we go from the frying pan into the fire. That said, good luck in whatever you do!