Duckygirl1

ive mentioned my friend J before in other posts. She's the x fiancé of my xabf's brother. The brother is still a manipulative raging addict and the family is still as sick and enabling as ever. The horror and abuse that man has put her through is epic. He has literally called hookers to his house for threesomes and kicked her out and locked the doors when she cried begging him to send the hooker away. The mom said "that's just what men are like." I have witnessed with my own eyes the father trying to hook his son up with other women knowing full well that his son was in a relationship with J. Cheaters all around!! The dad sent my x porn while we were dating with notes like " this is what you really want in a woman" Sick pieces of crap! Mind you, the absolute picture of upper middle class propriety! 6 years of this type of BS and she was finally breaking away.

Since I'm on the outs she could see a glimpse of how they treat people that they no longer need. I directed her to this site and told her to read, read, read!!!
She was getting better. Then the manipulation started, the love bombing from the mom started, the quacking started. The unblocking and frantic calling him back started. She wants to come back to ny, and it's "just easier to live with him until she finds her own place". Uh huh. I'm watching her deteriorate again. Her self esteem is going down sip by sip of the Kool aid. I hear it in her voice. I hear it in the things she's NOT saying. She's saying she doesn't love him, doesn't want a future with him etc. I'm not buying it and I don't think she is either.

In less than a week she will be breaking out in hives, will be having anxiety attacks and calling me at 2 am to come and pick her up from some random spot where he kicked her out of the car. also am working with her on a project, so this type of distraction is now getting in MY way too. That however is the least of my concerns. My hurt is the same as watching my xabf. A slow suicide that you cannot prevent. The person has to decide that they want to live. She hasn't. I fear that the next time she becomes entangled there will be no getting out for years more. Her family and friends hate him and won't help her out anymore if she's with him. I'm sure as hell not a fan. So I will love her as best I can. I don't ask about it anymore because I don't want to know. It only makes me hate that family more. It just makes me so sad and frustrated.

firebolt

So sad, and amazing how we become such apt fortune tellers when we've been there. Glad you are mostly out of that mess at least.

HopefulinFLA

It's just so icky to watch that, especially knowing how bad it feels to be there.

I'm really sorry for your friend.

freetosmile

yes, it is horrible to see someone you care about going down that road and trying to explain to them that there is a way to self-love and freedom!!!!

On the other hand, I don't feel I can judge those people because I am still one of them. I'm learning and I'm growing...and won't tolerate any more than I've had...but I'm still here.

It's tough for sure.

She is VERY lucky to have a friend like you.

knowthetriggers

This is sad, but she has made her choice. The best thing to do now is lift her up to your HP.