The Language of Letting Go, April 2
 

APRIL 2

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Facing Our Darker Side

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
--Step Four of Al Anon

By the time we get to the Fourth of the Twelve Steps, we are ready to face our darker side, the side that prevents us from loving others, from letting others love us, and from enjoying life and ourselves. The purpose of Step Four is not to make ourselves feel worse; our purpose is to begin to remove our blocks to joy and love.

We look for fears, anger, hurt, and shame from past events--buried feelings that may be affecting our life today. We search for subconscious beliefs about others and ourselves that may be interfering with the quality of our relationships. These beliefs say: I'm not lovable . . . I'm a burden to those around me . . . People can't be trusted . . . I can't be trusted . . . I don't deserve to be happy and successful . . . Life isn't worth living. We look at our behaviors and patterns with an eye toward discerning the self-defeating ones. With love and compassion for ourselves, we try to unearth all our guilt, earned and unearned, and expose it to the light.

We perform this examination without fear of what we shall find, because this soul searching can cleanse us and help us feel better about ourselves than we ever dreamt possible.

Higher Power, help me search out the blocks and barriers within myself. Bring what I need to know into my conscious mind, so I can be free of it. Show me what I need to know about myself.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

So many people drop the steps at this point. It is worth the work.

Yeah, at this point we're past the stuff we can let go of and are on to the stuff we have to take ownership of. As hard as it is to let go, it can be even harder for me to look at my "dark side" and realize that it's mine, all mine, to deal with--can't blame anyone else for it, can't hide from it, can't pretend it's not there. Not if I want to keep moving forward and growing...

Ah, this is exactly where I am in my own step work.

As I finished up step 3 I heard a share about how step 3 is like buying a house. When you decide you want to buy a house you don't just get keys and move into some place the next day. There are all kinds of steps that you have to take before you actually move in. Step 3 is just deciding that you want to embark on the journey of turning your life over to a power greater than yourself. Step 4 is really the first (or maybe second, depending on how you look at it) of that journey. Kind of like getting prequalified for a mortgage. :)

Thanks again for posting these, Honeypig!