Misc72

My nephew is using pot regularly and has been for 2 years. He was smoking it in the house and we have all come together and made it clear that is not allowed at all! We continue to find Paraphernalia. We have found a baggie this time and it is likely cocaine. He slipped last night and said he doesn't even do cocaine, "busted" no one ever said that is what it was. He forgot he told us it was a crushed pill of some sort.

Anyway he is using hard drugs at this point and his behavior exhibits such. He is living with my mom who is an alcoholic. His parents are out of the picture entirely. He has dropped out of school. Has court next week for possession.

I'm crushed. I'm trying to maintain my own sobriety and at the same time, figure out what I can do proactively to help them.

He is loud, violent, defiant and she can't kick him out because he is a minor. When I called the cops there last night to check on my mom because they were fighting pretty bad, she was drunk. It is a losing battle. I don't know what to do if I should even do anything?

Thank you for any advice!

silentrun

My daughter got busted drunk at 16. My insurance paid for an assessment by a counselor. Is that an option? Get him someone to talk to.

Misc72

well we know that he is actively using all sorts of drugs so I'm also stuck because my mom is the legal guardian and I'm not sure if she would do what it takes to get him to an assessment and follow through with necessary steps thereafter.

silentrun

She probably won't if she is an active alcoholic. That would be too threatening to her. He probably feels like no one gives a crap about him based on what you wrote. If you made an appointment do you think he would go? I am not saying that you are responsible for him just that since he is so young and his situation is so bad that he might really benefit from some therapy.

Misc72

unfortunately I have paid for therapy. We found an awesome drug and alcohol teen counselor. I think he went to three or four sessions and then refuse to go back. It was costing $90 per hour and he was just telling the guy what he wanted to hear. I've also looked into wilderness camp in the average about $35,000 for an 8 week program. We just don't have that kind of money. It's like if your low income with no insurance then your kids are just screwed.

silentrun

If he wants to keep using it that is not going to work anyway. I got my daughter early on so it was easy to put a stop to it.

hopeful4

Call CPS to intervene. That is my .02

So sorry you are going through this. XXX

timeagain

He's 17, almost 18. There isn't much you can do. You aren't the legal gaurdian. If you see major neglect than possible CPS, but he is almost and adult. You need to take care of yourself, love him and love yourself.

LexieCat

His charge for possession just might be the ticket. If you have the time, I'd show up in court and tell the judge (as well as his lawyer) what exactly is going on. He might receive court-ordered treatment as a condition of probation. If he violates that, he could be sent to the shelter, which at least protects your mom for the time being.

If he is physically violent with your mom, she can probably get a protective order once he turns 18 (if not sooner).

But I'd start with this court proceeding next week. If you can't go to court, call his lawyer (probably he has a public defender) and let that person know what the issues are. Lawyers can be very helpful in these situations--he or she will want to get a disposition that will reduce the chances of continued legal problems.