Very weird- can meds REALLY do this?
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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Very weird- can meds REALLY do this?
AH is acting sooooo strange.
I mean when I say a complete 360, I mean a complete 360. He started taking a generalized anxiety/antidepressant when he got out of jail. So he's been on it for over a month now.
You guys, seriously- he is thinking like a TOTALLY different person. It has me VERY uneasy. He is patient, he is kind, he smiles a real genuine smile, he makes the meetings, he goes to therapy, there is no controlling behavior or even a hint of it......I'm totally perplexed and scared.
Perplexed because I just have never seen a med do such a complete turn around on someone but really besides going to jail (a big wake up call- according to him) the only variable that has changed has been the addition of this medication.
I'm scared because of course, dumb me....I'm getting hope. I hate hope. Hope always ends up screwing me over.
I mean when I say a complete 360, I mean a complete 360. He started taking a generalized anxiety/antidepressant when he got out of jail. So he's been on it for over a month now.
You guys, seriously- he is thinking like a TOTALLY different person. It has me VERY uneasy. He is patient, he is kind, he smiles a real genuine smile, he makes the meetings, he goes to therapy, there is no controlling behavior or even a hint of it......I'm totally perplexed and scared.
Perplexed because I just have never seen a med do such a complete turn around on someone but really besides going to jail (a big wake up call- according to him) the only variable that has changed has been the addition of this medication.
I'm scared because of course, dumb me....I'm getting hope. I hate hope. Hope always ends up screwing me over.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 190
Hope is SUCH a tricky thing. Keep doing what you need to do for you.
I have seen meds work wonders on my mum as well. Moving from not being able to do anything, giant panic attacks if she left the house, into being able to do things on her own, less anger, spite and no panic attacks.
Meds can work for sure, but it's all different for different people.
Remember too, it doesnt sound like he's just using the meds though. Seems like he is following through on therapy and meetings and that can have a huge impact as well!
They might just be relieving a physiological thing that impeded him from seeking the help he needed, and internalizing it. Maybe? I dont know.
Also, just because he is this way now, doesnt mean he will continue to be. From what I have heard, the 1st year of recovery can be (and arguably should be) really messy, which is indicative of change. It's ok if he's doing great one day, and not so much another.
What matters for you, is that you are safe and working on your own recovery, as you well know : )
I have seen meds work wonders on my mum as well. Moving from not being able to do anything, giant panic attacks if she left the house, into being able to do things on her own, less anger, spite and no panic attacks.
Meds can work for sure, but it's all different for different people.
Remember too, it doesnt sound like he's just using the meds though. Seems like he is following through on therapy and meetings and that can have a huge impact as well!
They might just be relieving a physiological thing that impeded him from seeking the help he needed, and internalizing it. Maybe? I dont know.
Also, just because he is this way now, doesnt mean he will continue to be. From what I have heard, the 1st year of recovery can be (and arguably should be) really messy, which is indicative of change. It's ok if he's doing great one day, and not so much another.
What matters for you, is that you are safe and working on your own recovery, as you well know : )
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: SE USA
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When I actually started to get somewhere in recovery (not to be confused with just sobriety) I made a pretty drastic turn around. I think a lot of it had to do with really working the 12 steps hard. My wife has said that I am so different that it was actually hard to get used to at first.
But don't forget, we alkies do tend to be master manipulators. I also could see a situation where if I slacked off in working my program I could very easily regress back to being a grumpy *******.
But don't forget, we alkies do tend to be master manipulators. I also could see a situation where if I slacked off in working my program I could very easily regress back to being a grumpy *******.
torquemax777
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Montrose CO
Posts: 350
Anti depressants did a wonder for my AH; unfortunately, after a few months he thought he was "cured" and quit taking them. The withdrawals for anti depressants is rough, so now he says he will never take them again because he doesn't want to ever go through the withdrawals again. When I said that sometimes people just need to take them for the rest of their life and he might be one of those people, he was like "no way! I'm not taking anything forever! What if someday I can't afford or have access to them for some reason? Plus, what if they are something God thinks is just another thing like alcohol or drugs that makes me not deal with my underlying issues?"
Quack! Quack! Quack!!!
One thing that sucked is a few times he drank while on them and everything that was already bad about his drinking was magnified ten fold! So at that point, even I was hoping he'd stop taking them.
But I ABSOLUTELY would LOVE it if he'd take them again and NOT ever ever drink! I loved loved loved it when he was on them and DID NOT drink! How I pray for that day to come back again!
Quack! Quack! Quack!!!
One thing that sucked is a few times he drank while on them and everything that was already bad about his drinking was magnified ten fold! So at that point, even I was hoping he'd stop taking them.
But I ABSOLUTELY would LOVE it if he'd take them again and NOT ever ever drink! I loved loved loved it when he was on them and DID NOT drink! How I pray for that day to come back again!
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Originally Posted by dandylion 
free....a couple of questions....
What was he like when you first met him...in the period when you were first head over heels about him? Was he drinking (at all) during that period of time?
dandylion
What was he like when you first met him...in the period when you were first head over heels about him? Was he drinking (at all) during that period of time?
dandylion
torquemax777
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Montrose CO
Posts: 350
Oh and even though his mom has taken them over 15 years and swears she will NEVER go without them again even if she has to go without food, she won't go without her meds. She will move heaven and earth to get them! He just says, " well, that's great for her, but they just aren't for me! " I think he just wants an excuse to binge whenever and not have the meds interfere, and like I said in my first post, I'd rather him not take them if he's planning on future drinking. It's sad and very frustrating because I saw the difference you're seeing, and obviously, depression runs in his family... But I just had to give up and pray he'll see the light.
Oh yeah, and I told him, that Luke was a physician, and while we don't know how God feels about psychotropic drugs, we there are several verses that are blatently clear about how He is NOT OK with drunkenness and specifically, "drunkards WILL NOT inherit the kingdom of heaven." I just got a bunch of quacking about how they didn't have psychotropics in Biblical days; which I said "yeah and crazy people got stoned to death for being demon possessed even though they might have just needed meds that didn't exist back then!". Just like sobriety, people with mental illness have to decide for themselves when they want help.
FRUSTRATING!!!!
Oh yeah, and I told him, that Luke was a physician, and while we don't know how God feels about psychotropic drugs, we there are several verses that are blatently clear about how He is NOT OK with drunkenness and specifically, "drunkards WILL NOT inherit the kingdom of heaven." I just got a bunch of quacking about how they didn't have psychotropics in Biblical days; which I said "yeah and crazy people got stoned to death for being demon possessed even though they might have just needed meds that didn't exist back then!". Just like sobriety, people with mental illness have to decide for themselves when they want help.
FRUSTRATING!!!!
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Since the difference between being on an anti-depressant med and not on one can be life and death (it was for me), major change is possible. It's very common that alcoholics also suffer from other mental illnesses like depression and bipolar disorder.
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Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr
Since the difference between being on an anti-depressant med and not on one can be life and death (it was for me), major change is possible. It's very common that alcoholics also suffer from other mental illnesses like depression and bipolar disorder.
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free...is his behavior, now, identical to when you first met him and he wasn't drinking?
dandylion
lol! There is the classic litmus "test". You can tell if the changes are sincere by telling an alcoholic "No" about somethng....or do something that they don't like.
dandylion
lol! There is the classic litmus "test". You can tell if the changes are sincere by telling an alcoholic "No" about somethng....or do something that they don't like.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 273
Clinical depression is AWFUL and its hard to see the world through clear eyes and not want to find some kind of escape. I have a dear friend, not an alcoholic and her meds stopped working. She is a very different person right now and this is clearly just the depression in the picture. I think far too often in treatment the bigger picture isn't looked at and needs to be for recovery to happen. Is this for real with your hubbie? Could be... time will reveal.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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I will also say that in rehab another person had sobriety imposed on them due to time behind bars for a domestic violence issue. Looking at this person who at the time had been sober a good six months they were the last person in the world you would ever guess would do such a thing. That time behind bars really made them look at things differently. Believe they were pretty intensely committed to sobriety. I have not kept in touch with that bunch but I'd give pretty good odds that person is likely still sober. These types of situations can be the wake up call. Again... time will reveal if this is for real or another rollercoaster. Very cautious optimism is the best advice I can give you. I always say that GETTING sober was the easy part. Staying sober over a prolonged period with temptations around every corner is a whole other story.
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I'm a dualy and I won't go a day without meds. I've gone to the ER before to get a weeks worth when put in a tough spot (got them stolen at the airport, who steals antidepressants?). I've accepted that my brain is just broken and this med puts things together. I wouldn't just let a broken bone go without being treated, why do that with a broken brain?
More will be revealed-I'm sure.
More will be revealed-I'm sure.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
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Originally Posted by torquemax777
Oh and even though his mom has taken them over 15 years and swears she will NEVER go without them again even if she has to go without food, she won't go without her meds. She will move heaven and earth to get them! He just says, " well, that's great for her, but they just aren't for me! " I think he just wants an excuse to binge whenever and not have the meds interfere, and like I said in my first post, I'd rather him not take them if he's planning on future drinking. It's sad and very frustrating because I saw the difference you're seeing, and obviously, depression runs in his family... But I just had to give up and pray he'll see the light.
Oh yeah, and I told him, that Luke was a physician, and while we don't know how God feels about psychotropic drugs, we there are several verses that are blatently clear about how He is NOT OK with drunkenness and specifically, "drunkards WILL NOT inherit the kingdom of heaven." I just got a bunch of quacking about how they didn't have psychotropics in Biblical days; which I said "yeah and crazy people got stoned to death for being demon possessed even though they might have just needed meds that didn't exist back then!". Just like sobriety, people with mental illness have to decide for themselves when they want help.
FRUSTRATING!!!!
Oh yeah, and I told him, that Luke was a physician, and while we don't know how God feels about psychotropic drugs, we there are several verses that are blatently clear about how He is NOT OK with drunkenness and specifically, "drunkards WILL NOT inherit the kingdom of heaven." I just got a bunch of quacking about how they didn't have psychotropics in Biblical days; which I said "yeah and crazy people got stoned to death for being demon possessed even though they might have just needed meds that didn't exist back then!". Just like sobriety, people with mental illness have to decide for themselves when they want help.
FRUSTRATING!!!!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
You have 6 months to a year for you both to figure out if he is serious or not. So far, his recovery is just a blip in time....i'm glad the blip is currently a happy one though 
You don't need to decide anything today - keep that 20,000 foot view.
Take care!
You don't need to decide anything today - keep that 20,000 foot view.
Take care!
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