FindingMe2

If we agree that addiction is a disease and the brain becomes sick or as some say hijacked, then how do we hold them personally responsible?

I hope that makes sense.

SparkleKitty

If we accept it is a disease, then we also accept that there is treatment. The only requirement for treatment is the willingness of the afflicted to seek it out and embrace it.

I have a friend who will live with cancer for the rest of her life. She does not go to the store to buy more cancer. She doesn't refuse the many treatment options available to her to extend her life expectancy or improve her quality of life. She doesn't want to be sick.

NYCDoglvr

We can only be responsible for our own words and actions and what Alanon taught me was to keep the focus on myself. As a codependent I was inclined to point the finger at my partner (look at what HE does and says!) when all along the problem was in me. I picked him and stayed much longer than was healthy. Recovery is about dealing with my own issues, not staying obsessed about what someone else does.

healthyagain

A few days ago, I read a very good comparison (probably one of the best I've seen). And I'm going to steal it.

"Alcoholism is a disease and cancer is a disease. But people who have cancer generally do not go after work and buy more disease."

Alcoholics do have a choice and codependents have a choice. And you have to be accountable for the choices you make. If you are lied to and deceived about something, if you are "abused into" staying with someone, you cannot be guilty at first. But once your eyes open, once you become aware, you can do something about it and are fully entitled to do something about it.

This is a very specific disease with a very specific dynamics. Just because there is the word "disease," it does not mean that there should be an excuse/pity.

hopeful4

If my XAH would have actually tried instead of knowingly being sneaky and manipulative I would not have had such an issue. It was the lies and manipulation that did me in. No disease takes over your brain to make your mouth lie!