BobbyJ

This weekend, my female roommate got drunk. Like super down falling drunk.
We were at some friends house and it took 3 people to get her up the stairs.
She yelled and screamed "Dont make me go home with her, she is mean, I hate her, she is mean"
I told her that she could stay there, I was not going to put up with it.
It took 3 people to load her into my car. She screamed yelled kicked and then cried. The hole time begging them not to make her go home with me.

I had to literally hold her up, and dang near packed her up 20 flights of stairs, to get her to bed.

I got up and took off for the day...Thinking & Stewing...And repeating "NO ONE WILL EVER YELL AT ME and CALL ME BAD NAMES AGAIN!!!!"

So I come home and there she was, a bawling mess. The usual Im sorry's...
The usual I dont know why's..The usual I dont know what happen...
GRrrr.............

I told her I know you drink up stairs and I have kept my mouth shut
But last night, was it for me, time for you to move out!

But I worry about paying the house payment now....

Do I flip a coin? Im confussed.....Im scared......and Im MAD

I cant stand her drinking, even if she is upstairs. It mentally bothers
me to the point of crazy......I have done that for 15 years....

I told her today, that until she gets help and make a choice, her life
will be a mess. And like my xah, I can not help you.....I have tried
to encourage you to a better way of life, but as far as the drinking
that is your choice....

What are your thoughts?? Flip a coin, move her out, mind my own business?

anavrin

this is so tough bobby. I understand how you can be torn here. I don't know much, I just started going to this site but what I have learned is her drinking isn't your problem. I know that sounds mean but its true. Only she can stop and sometimes the only way someone is willing to pick themselves up is if they don't have someone else there to do it for them. I realize this is kind of an old post but I just wanted to say this because I am dealing with my sister who is an alcoholic and its really tough to deal with. I wish you the best of luck bobby. I hope whatever you choose or chose to do works out for you.

skippernlilg

I had the same thoughts as JDS. I would think you're meeting your obligation as a landlord by giving her 30-day notice and also setting yourself up for a more stable source of income by getting a non-addict as a renter/roommate.

Tuffgirl

Life is short, girl. Find a new roommate!

BobbyJ

UPDATE: Thought & Prayed about this all night long. This morning I gave her a hug
and told her that I do love her and she is not a bad person. That she needs to get help and I cant do that for her. And that I need to take care of me.

She feels that she is a bad person, for her past. I explained to her the cycle of addiction. She agreed and said she was going to get help. Once again, I am letting
go and letting God.

I have peace about my decision today and I feel good about it.

She is going to go look a new place tonight. I told her that she doesnt have to be out right away, but she does need to find something soon. And that while she was living here, I would appreciate it if she wouldnt drink and hide it. I could not mentally handle that. She said she understood. Do I believe her? Umm...Not really...But I have peace
knowing that I set my boundaries and being honest with her.

As far as paying the house payment, guess it goes back to ME, Trusting God...

I shake my head at myself, amazed, on the anger that set in with me the other night.
I was so upset, I think I could have hurt her. That was so scarey....This was the first time, since my xah left, that Ive had to deal with someone drunk in my home. WOW!
It makes me so grateful, that I dont have to deal with xah face to face drunk.
I know, I could not deal with that anymore in my life...

Today, I am grateful