Parent's not on the same page with Adult AD
 

Background: Alcohol and drug abusing daughter age 25. 90 days combined full time in and out patient rehab then nearly one year weekly group and individual counseling. Relapsed.

I am so sick and tired of this. I cannot ride this roller coaster again. I want her out of our house. My husband will not throw her out. He's not there yet. I am. I can't even stand to be in the same room with her. I'm not trying to play the "mad game" or "guilt game" I sincerely cannot even look at her. I haven't spoken a word to her since I found out she relapsed when she almost burned down our house.

I've done the "we're enabling her to kill herself" speech and he's just not there. So the only option is that I leave and I don't want to leave my husband of 30 years or my house or my dogs.

So we're 3 people in one house constantly in 3 different rooms.

Yikes that sounds miserable. Unfortunately when there's been so much enabling, nothing changes if nothing changes. Are you putting a roof over her head? Feeding her? Is she not self sufficient as an adult which is what she is at 25? Your husband doesn't sound on board with making any changes. So let him deal with her and continue with the enabling and you leave with the dogs? Someone needs to change something and it sounds like that person is you at this time.

Gosh I can't even begin to imagine how heart breaking this must be for you, I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation.

I have no wise words at all, but I did want you to know you've been heard!

Boy, I KNOW what you are feeling! I am at my folks home nursing my dying Mom and my alcoholic sister is downstairs drinking! She has tried to talk with me doing the "we have to get along for Mom's sake" But all I hear is quack,quack, quack! The hospice nurse told her no smoking in the house and she gave him a dirty look! I can't look her in the eye, either! Have to walk away from her all day long, actually, glad she's downstairs now, cuz at supper she was slurring her words and swearing and just being, weel,drunk!