Readreadread

Hi there.... Was wondering if anyone has had experience with Soberlink for visitation moving from supervised to unsupervised visitation? Our judge wants stbxah to agree to Soberlink and twice a month urine testing to move to unsupervised time. Any advice or information would be appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Liveitwell

Pm me

AliWProk

Would it be random urine testing, or right before he sees the kids? Because alcohol is out of your system relatively quickly, I always wondered how easy it might be to pass a test you know is coming. This is the sort of thing my XAH would try to do.

He did not appear to drink before/during supervised visits, but the ONE time I let the kids stay with him overnight unsupervised, he was passed out by 7 p.m. and I had to come and get the kids. Since that relapse, Jan. 24, I have not heard from him AT ALL. Maybe one day he'll clean up his act and get to see his kids again, but I will NEVER trust him with them alone ever again. I don't care if he has 10 years sober, I will never let him have the kids alone again.

hopeful4

If I am not mistaken Stung's husband uses this.

Readreadread

The Soberlink alcohol testing would be 7 days per week, 4 times each day 7am-10pm and urine drug screen every 14 days through Quest Diagnostics.

Stung

My husband was using Soberlink twice a day as a stipulation put in place by his previous therapist. He ended up figuring out a way to "trick" the system though and would drink little amounts of vodka almost immediately after he blew into his sober link and then by the time it was time to blow again he would blow sober. Something along those lines, it doesn't really matter beyond the fact that he was still figuring out a way to drink. All I know is that Soberlink wasn't enough accountability to keep him sober and it wasn't anything that was seriously mandated (like by a judge, RAH relapsed and then he hid from his therapist in shame, no real consequences). It basically took the responsibility off of him to manage his sobriety and get/stay sober for himself because it was someone else's hand forcing it.

So it was a totally different situation than what you're dealing with. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) my husband hasn't had any serious consequences from his drinking.

gettingstronger

The type of UA that my AH's rehab uses can detect alcohol in the system for up to 80 hours. It's the EtG UA test.

However, for unsupervised visitation, this would only give you after the fact info. So, if you were testing just before visitation, then sure he could pass, but then still drink while kids were with him, perhaps even in the car.

My AH has managed to "fool" the folks at rehab repeatedly. In fact, it has become something of a game to him.

Even with doing the Soberlink during visitation, I know in my heart of hearts that my husband would figure a way to "fool" that, too. When alcohol is involved, he would be incapable of thinking very far into the future. He would blow "clean", then drink for the next several hours until he was required to blow again. At that point he'd be too drunk to care, and I'd be stuck rushing out to get kids out of his care. That's how I could see that playing out.

Honestly, I think the only way I would allow unsupervised visitation myself, is if my AH had demonstrated a length of time of sobriety, perhaps using UA and Soberlink as "proof" that he was maintaining sobriety.

We're currently having a similar conversation about installing an inter-lock device on his car, just so he can drive to/from the bus station each day.

gettingstronger

Ali, my AH knows how long he has to drink before the next possible time he could be asked to do UA. He knows it's 80 hours, so he just does the math and figures which days of the week he can slip in a drinking binge. His rehab is now down to 2 days/week, and those days are close together in the week, so he still has a couple of days per week when he can get bombed out of his mind, and still pass the UA. He's still in the mindset that the rest of the world is against him, and not that the UA is a tool for him, as he fights his urges to drink.

Readreadread

This idea came from the judge, the child rep and our two attorneys at our trial. Stbaxh has until next Thursday to decide and if he says no, this issue goes back to trial. I know that he can fool the system, but I also know that he can get sloppy. After 3 months of all negatives, he gets unsupervised time and after 3 more months 1 overnight. I don't love it, but I think it's the best I can do for now. He also is supposed to go to 4 times AA meetings and meet 80% of his visitation to move on to the next level of visitation.

gettingstronger

Readreadread, what would be the consequences of your X failing a UA or Soberlink? Would it just be that he loses visitation that one time, or would he lose all unsupervised visitation? Personally, I'd want severe consequences to both give him more motivation to stay sober, and to keep my kids safe from future drunken visitations.

AliWProk

Interesting. 80 hours - yeesh! My XAH could totally work around that.

I agree with gettingstronger, severe consequences for failing would be ideal.

Readreadread, what does unsupervised time entail? He can take the kids home? For how long?

hopeful4

I know a girl who was on probation who had to wear an alcohol bracelet type of thing around her ankle the entire time she was on probation. I've no idea how it works but I do know it exists. She could not physically take it off or it would alert her PO.

Liveitwell

Hopeful^^...that is a scram bracelet. They are very hard to get into child custody cases as they monitor all the time and not just prior to abd during visitstion. Those are typically used for criminal offenses (DUI, etc) but I've heard of a couple being ordered in a family law arena.

Readreadread

Stbxah currently has supervised visits with his parents every other weekend, 9-6 and 9-1, his license is revoked so they have to do the transportation. His visitations have been supervised by his parents for over 1 year. If he earns unsupervised time, after 3 months of sustained sobriety, AA meetings, and 80% visitation attendance rate, unsupervised is anywhere he wants for 6.5 hrs Saturday and Sunday, every other weekend. After 3 more months of proven sustained sobriety, he will earn 1 overnight 10-10 on Saturdays every other weekend.
If he fails any Soberlink or drug screen, he goes back to supervised visits and if his visitation is supervised if he is positive within 24 hours, his visitation is cancelled. It is confusing. Not sure he will agree to all the demands that they judge has made anyway. My attorney said that if he was her client, she would advise him not to take it. I hope that clarifies.

Readreadread

The child rep tried to get the SCRAM ankle thing put on stxah but the judge said no, also she said no to blood test and hair follicle tests.

This has been a long battle... 3 years in May is when I filed my Order of Protection, Jan. 2014 he was given supervised visitation and our trial happened on Wednesday. He has been given so many chances to get out of his situation and he has never been able to follow through. It is all around a sad situation....