Let Go and Let Higher Powers
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by Stung 
I just want to work through the steps and I made that very clear when I met with her this week. It was like the very first thing out of my mouth.
It's perfectly fine to tell her that you feel like you need a more intense experience focused on the steps, so you've decided to work with someone else as a sponsor. You can thank her for the help she's given you up to now--sounds like she helped you get off to a good start. And it sounds like she's giving of her time.
Hopefully she will wish you well and that will be that. If she gets all hurt and offended or anything, remember--that's her problem, not yours.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 333
Originally Posted by Stung
Anyway, this is a long winded way of asking for ES&H (experience, strength and hope) on how other people let things go.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
Stung-
How scary about your little one.
Reading through your posts I am struck by a similarity to my own experience right now (though I am not experience a scary kiddo situation).
I am trying to learn when to trust myself, even when someone outside of me is "telling" me something different.
I have spent so long depending on external clues for how to behave and how to "feel" and I am trying to shift that to an internal experience, regardless of what I am told etc.
It is a hard process for me, and it is not life/death stuff.
In both this post and your previous post I am struck by the fact that you are putting a lot of "worth" into your sponsor about a lot of topics. A lot of topics that she is not an expert about. Is she "telling" you what to do, or talking about her own experience, strength, hope about these topics? Finally it is okay whatever her opinion is, but how hard is it for you to trust your own self in the face of it.
What a great learning experience you are in.....I have faith in you, and that this is a great opportunity for growth.
I just read today's Language of Letting Go, and it is about trusting ourselves. Apropo as those readings often are.
How scary about your little one.
Reading through your posts I am struck by a similarity to my own experience right now (though I am not experience a scary kiddo situation).
I am trying to learn when to trust myself, even when someone outside of me is "telling" me something different.
I have spent so long depending on external clues for how to behave and how to "feel" and I am trying to shift that to an internal experience, regardless of what I am told etc.
It is a hard process for me, and it is not life/death stuff.
In both this post and your previous post I am struck by the fact that you are putting a lot of "worth" into your sponsor about a lot of topics. A lot of topics that she is not an expert about. Is she "telling" you what to do, or talking about her own experience, strength, hope about these topics? Finally it is okay whatever her opinion is, but how hard is it for you to trust your own self in the face of it.
What a great learning experience you are in.....I have faith in you, and that this is a great opportunity for growth.
I just read today's Language of Letting Go, and it is about trusting ourselves. Apropo as those readings often are.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 203
Maybe this friend just isn't the person you need in your life right now, if that is the case maybe its time to walk away. If you want her in your life, then you make the choice to put her words behind you and move forward.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
Update: My sponsor approached me over the weekend about "being too hard on me" and trying to "force solutions" into my life and addressed that her primary concern was whether or not I was able to "let go" of my daughter's allergy concerns for long enough to take care of myself. Then she said that the point I was making was about my taking a nap and obviously if I can nap in the middle of the day then I let it go. I told her that I am handling my daughter's needs very gracefully and if I could handle everything this gracefully then I wouldn't need a sponsor to begin with! LOL And I joked that I would like to attend a support group for people who don't want to attend support groups anymore. 
I really appreciated that she said something to me about it without me having to say something. I also really took into consideration what Lexie said about my sponsor being only human too. And I reminded myself that I can take what I like from my sponsor and leave the rest. I like when we talk program. I don't like when we talk parenting.
Overall, I feel better and I explained to my sponsor that like neither of us would expect normies to understand alcoholic relationships, I don't expect her to understand what life is like with a child who is fatally allergic to certain foods, although I also underscored that I don't want advice on what to do or how to handle life raising a child with food allergies. (It brought back a flashback of my mom telling me that I should just drink WITH my RAH and then he wouldn't be an alcoholic.)
I really appreciated that she said something to me about it without me having to say something. I also really took into consideration what Lexie said about my sponsor being only human too. And I reminded myself that I can take what I like from my sponsor and leave the rest. I like when we talk program. I don't like when we talk parenting.
Overall, I feel better and I explained to my sponsor that like neither of us would expect normies to understand alcoholic relationships, I don't expect her to understand what life is like with a child who is fatally allergic to certain foods, although I also underscored that I don't want advice on what to do or how to handle life raising a child with food allergies. (It brought back a flashback of my mom telling me that I should just drink WITH my RAH and then he wouldn't be an alcoholic.)
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Turning this one over might be easier than you think.
If God knows what God is doing...... Then God put her in your path for a reason.
I take the view that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
So, in order to grow to the next level, there are lessons to be learnt in every interaction / relationship.
I believe we only get to see the lessons in hindsight.
So that means we have to endure to get the lesson.
So, trust that God knows what God is doing, knows what you need to learn and give it time.
God works slowly, because God is very old
If God knows what God is doing...... Then God put her in your path for a reason.
I take the view that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
So, in order to grow to the next level, there are lessons to be learnt in every interaction / relationship.
I believe we only get to see the lessons in hindsight.
So that means we have to endure to get the lesson.
So, trust that God knows what God is doing, knows what you need to learn and give it time.
God works slowly, because God is very old
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Hello Stung,
My running buddy has a child with a life threatening food allergy. She carried a spare epi-pen on one of our trips last year WITHOUT the kids. The only reason I figured it out was she was trying to find a running belt with a large enough pocket for the epi-kit at a running expo...
She was embarrassed and mentioned she was a bit paranoid, but I didn't judge her.
She knows how fragile life is. So do you.
My running buddy has a child with a life threatening food allergy. She carried a spare epi-pen on one of our trips last year WITHOUT the kids. The only reason I figured it out was she was trying to find a running belt with a large enough pocket for the epi-kit at a running expo...
She was embarrassed and mentioned she was a bit paranoid, but I didn't judge her.
She knows how fragile life is. So do you.
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