Daily reading on Detachment
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Daily reading on Detachment
This daily passage is from the Al-Anon book , Courage to Change, Page 72.
I have read this many times and keep coming back to it as a reminder that I am in control of my own feelings regardless of those around me. I was pretty sure that the majority of us could relate to this reading.
Enjoy.....
What does another person’s mood, tone of voice or state of inebriation have to do with my course of action? Nothing, unless I decide otherwise.
For example, I have learned that arguing with someone who is intoxicated is like beating my head against a brick wall. Yet, until recently, I would always dive right into the arguments, because that was what the other person seemed to want. In Al-Anon I discovered that I don’t have to react just because I have been provoked, and I don’t have to take harsh words to heart. I can remember that they are coming from someone who may be in pain, and try to show a little compassion. I certainly don’t have to allow them to provoke me into doing anything I don’t want to do.
Today’s Reminder:
Detachment with love means that I stop depending upon what other do, say or feel to determine my own well-being or to make my decisions. When faced with other people’s destructive attitudes and behavior, I can love their best, and never fear their worst.
“Detachment is not caring less, it’s caring more for my own serenity.”
…In All Our Affairs
I have read this many times and keep coming back to it as a reminder that I am in control of my own feelings regardless of those around me. I was pretty sure that the majority of us could relate to this reading.
Enjoy.....
What does another person’s mood, tone of voice or state of inebriation have to do with my course of action? Nothing, unless I decide otherwise.
For example, I have learned that arguing with someone who is intoxicated is like beating my head against a brick wall. Yet, until recently, I would always dive right into the arguments, because that was what the other person seemed to want. In Al-Anon I discovered that I don’t have to react just because I have been provoked, and I don’t have to take harsh words to heart. I can remember that they are coming from someone who may be in pain, and try to show a little compassion. I certainly don’t have to allow them to provoke me into doing anything I don’t want to do.
Today’s Reminder:
Detachment with love means that I stop depending upon what other do, say or feel to determine my own well-being or to make my decisions. When faced with other people’s destructive attitudes and behavior, I can love their best, and never fear their worst.
“Detachment is not caring less, it’s caring more for my own serenity.”
…In All Our Affairs
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Great one! So very true. Geesh, they make it sound so damn easy though don't they?
When I was walking today, I was thinking about my recovery. I thought " it's not easy to detach when the person you are trying to detach from has the potential to wreck everyone's day, week, and well...hell, their life!"
Then I caught myself....ha! We GIVE them so much POWER, don't we?? I just gave this person the power to wreck my LIFE!? By reacting to them, by engaging, by controlling them, we are just HANDING that power over.
So, although it is not easy to detach, it is necessary. Time to take the power back!
When I was walking today, I was thinking about my recovery. I thought " it's not easy to detach when the person you are trying to detach from has the potential to wreck everyone's day, week, and well...hell, their life!"
Then I caught myself....ha! We GIVE them so much POWER, don't we?? I just gave this person the power to wreck my LIFE!? By reacting to them, by engaging, by controlling them, we are just HANDING that power over.
So, although it is not easy to detach, it is necessary. Time to take the power back!
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 774
I love the idea of detaching with love. It truly does bring me more peace.
Does anyone else here physically feel other people's moods? Like when my youngest dd gets a case of the sillies and is wiggling and being loud and crazy (I totally adore her free spirit, btw), but when she gets this way, I can feel it in my space and it pulls on me, literally. I can feel sensations in my body. It is hard not to snap at her.
I've always been highly empathetic. Curious if that's a trait other codependent people share....?
Does anyone else here physically feel other people's moods? Like when my youngest dd gets a case of the sillies and is wiggling and being loud and crazy (I totally adore her free spirit, btw), but when she gets this way, I can feel it in my space and it pulls on me, literally. I can feel sensations in my body. It is hard not to snap at her.
I've always been highly empathetic. Curious if that's a trait other codependent people share....?
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 865
Originally Posted by freetosmile 
Great one! So very true. Geesh, they make it sound so damn easy though don't they?
When I was walking today, I was thinking about my recovery. I thought " it's not easy to detach when the person you are trying to detach from has the potential to wreck everyone's day, week, and well...hell, their life!"
Then I caught myself....ha! We GIVE them so much POWER, don't we?? I just gave this person the power to wreck my LIFE!? By reacting to them, by engaging, by controlling them, we are just HANDING that power over.
So, although it is not easy to detach, it is necessary. Time to take the power back!
When I was walking today, I was thinking about my recovery. I thought " it's not easy to detach when the person you are trying to detach from has the potential to wreck everyone's day, week, and well...hell, their life!"
Then I caught myself....ha! We GIVE them so much POWER, don't we?? I just gave this person the power to wreck my LIFE!? By reacting to them, by engaging, by controlling them, we are just HANDING that power over.
So, although it is not easy to detach, it is necessary. Time to take the power back!
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