Santa

Doctor visit - excellent idea and do it right away. Urgent care clinic if her pediatrician cannot fit her in. A human bite will be taken very seriously by an MD, especially an adult bite on a child.

No reason to engage your XAH on it, nothing useful can possibly come of that course of action.

Carlotta

I must admit that my jaw dropped at the idea of an adult biting a child

Sending hugs your way

((hugs))

zoso77

Sound, reasonable advice from Lexie, Hopeful...

theuncertainty

What a @#%@. I'm not certain if I'm more disgusted with the fact that he bit her hard enough to leave marks or with the fact that he denied he'd done it and the physical proof after.

A lot of great pointers already, but I did want to let you know that I filed for a custody modification on my own:

I submitted my request for a modification to AXH's visitation with DS after several late night calls from AXH's GF stating they had to leave the house to be safe and to please come get DS - and from DS asking to come get him, come get him NOW. I was able to research the forms that I needed and the laws that applied online. I'm sure a lawyer would have displayed a lot more skill in their filings, and it would have been nice to have one next to me in the courtroom, but between what I'd filed, and his then-GF getting a restraining order against him, it worked out.

A friend had mentioned the possibility of hiring a lawyer to review my documents before I filed. "Unbundled services" I think was the term. I didn't really look for a lawyer to help with the modification, but one attorney did offer an hour consultation at no charge to discuss my options, which I took him up on. It was really (REALLY) basic but helped me gain confidence that I was heading in the right direction.

Sending hugs and wishing you continued strength.

hopeful4

Thanks everyone! I will likely do what Lexie said. theuncertainty, I have been looking into these forms too and am thinking of doing the same. What I am not sure about is if I can actually hire a GAL myself. I am hoping so. Lexie, do you know about that, or do you know if Social Services will appoint a GAL?

I think I could do the modification request myself. If I understand correctly, here in MO it goes back to the judge who made the initial judgement in the first place. If that is the case, he is super nice and would go easy on me doing it myself I believe. I would likely have an attorney review it before I submit and know someone who could do that for me.

I am horrified that he bit her, and I am wondering what is next. It's just crazy and it really does show how progressive alcoholism is. I am disgusted.

Thank you my SR family, as usual, you guys are the best!

LexieCat

The law and procedures for appointment of a GAL will vary from one place to another. I'm not an expert on that by any means. It could be that the court would appoint one, and the cost might be apportioned. I can't really say.

Your family court probably has a "pro se package" of forms you can use to petition for any change in custody. You might want to do that after you have the incident on record. You can ask what you need to do to expedite it due to the risk of harm to your child. There may be a way to get a short notice hearing date, which might allow the court to impose an interim restriction with a more permanent decision after everyone has a chance to properly prepare for a hearing.

TU has a great idea if you could ask someone to look over your paperwork (I can't do that, BTW). But even without it, if you just work on expressing your concerns as succinctly and simply as possible (without too much speculation and no mudslinging), you have a good shot at having your matter carefully considered by the court.

hopeful4

Thank you Lexie! I have an attorney in mind to look over the paperwork and may possibly be able to twist his arm into coming to court with me, which would be good. I did find the forms I can use, and our courts have a pretty good guide as to what you need to submit and a checklist and everything.

I have found out that the courts have to appoint the GAL, I cannot hire them. However, that is fine, I just request one with the forms. Also going to work on getting statements from their counselors, etc.

Thanks guys!!!

LexieCat

There ya go. You have a game plan. Get her to the doctor before anything else, though.

DMC

As a mandated reporter (who ironically called DCF this very morning), yes, you want it documented in her medical record. And that is the way to go. I wouldn't want to be seeing her in the office 3 days later for something totally unrelated and hear "oh, by the way... her dad bit her..."

Not. Normal.

Stung

Oh man, reading this made me feel for your girls and you. Sending big, big hugs. I rough house with my two from time to time and I just cannot imagine ever biting any child, let alone hard enough to leave marks. Poor thing. I'm glad they have you and that she sees a counselor to talk to about everything. You're doing a great job looking out for your girls Hopeful, and I hope you're taking good care of yourself too!

NYCDoglvr

I like the idea of putting this in writing. I'd send a certified letter advising him you know he was drinking and biting her is child abuse.

LexieCat

That's not a good solution. Abuse needs to be REPORTED, not documented in a certified letter to the abuser. A report to a medical professional or to law enforcement or child protective services is all the documentation necessary.

hopeful4

Going to show to counselor tonight who is a mandated reporter. Will tell her I know she is a mandated reporter and that I want her to report. This will put her in the loop of being interviewed for sure by social services, which I want to happen. She's a really great counselor who I know will follow through.

clearandfree

I was gonna join anyway, but this post really encouraged me to, so I can add my 2 cents. There are legal insurance plans, where you pay some nominal amount monthly and participating lawyers are either paid by the plan or offer discounts for members, depending on what your issue is. I obtained US Legal Services through my work, and I had the option of continuing after I left the job by paying them $17 a month. I successfully sued an old landlord, and the lawyer I used knocked off a big portion of his fee so I'd end up with some settlement money. It ended up being like half pro bono.
Idk how much of the country US Legal Services covers. Another plan I've heard of is LegalShield. There are more, too. Google legal insurance and you may find something that suits your needs.

hopeful4

Thank you clearandfree for the info!

Liveitwell

Thinking of you, friend!

hopeful4

Thank you!! Same here, hope things are going good for you!

Florence

Let us know how this goes.

Hawkeye13

Hope this works out well and quickly hopeful.

Sounds like you have a plan and things are clicking. . .