A Prayer was Answered
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 45
A Prayer was Answered
I often wrestle with the concept of co-parenting with XAH while keeping my DD safe. Per my divorce decree, if I suspect drinking then I can request a breath test. Today there were so many flags to indicate he had been drinking last night. Our decree states a zero alcohol tolerance level before custody exchanges. Today I requested a test and took the quacking from him stating I was wasting time, he was fine. But I didn't back down from the request. Meanwhile he calls his parents hoping they could rescue him from my request. But I stood my ground and I politely asked them to stay out of it. If he wasn't drinking, I needed him to SHOW me, not TELL me.
Long story short, he blew. Not only was he positive, he was over the legal limit in our state. He wasn't arrested for DUI, despite the officer witnessing him driving to another location to test. Unbelievable! Even XAH wanted to dispute the results. He couldn't possibly be drunk because he didn't feel drunk. Thank goodness I didn't put my daughter in the car with him.
There are so many times I've ignored my gut, intuition, guidance, logic, whatever you want to call it, because he tells me otherwise. I've learned so much reading this forum and looking at sources others here have found helpful and it's giving me confidence to listen again. For that I'm grateful, so thank you all for helping me listen to me again.
Long story short, he blew. Not only was he positive, he was over the legal limit in our state. He wasn't arrested for DUI, despite the officer witnessing him driving to another location to test. Unbelievable! Even XAH wanted to dispute the results. He couldn't possibly be drunk because he didn't feel drunk. Thank goodness I didn't put my daughter in the car with him.
There are so many times I've ignored my gut, intuition, guidance, logic, whatever you want to call it, because he tells me otherwise. I've learned so much reading this forum and looking at sources others here have found helpful and it's giving me confidence to listen again. For that I'm grateful, so thank you all for helping me listen to me again.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Nice job! I'm generally not a fan of breathalyzers as a way to check whether the alcoholic has been drinking, but safety of kids is an exception to that. If there is reason to believe an alcoholic has been drinking, then the breathalyzer can be a good neutral way to check that they are safe for driving/visitation.
I find it very odd that the cop didn't do anything, but it may be that your word was not sufficient for him to make a traffic stop. He might have had to observe some sign, himself, of intoxication.
I find it very odd that the cop didn't do anything, but it may be that your word was not sufficient for him to make a traffic stop. He might have had to observe some sign, himself, of intoxication.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 45
The breath test can be done privately or through the city police station, whatever we both agree on. Since we have been to court for custody and visitation changes, his attorney advised him we go through the police station. For almost a year he refused to take any sort of test. When we do that, the police must record his information to document a test was performed and what the outcome was. It's all on record. It's difficult to disprove the results when it's done by someone trained to do so.
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