Toxic People....

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Old 03-06-2015, 10:16 AM
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Toxic People....

This really hit home for me today and I just thought I would share.

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Old 03-06-2015, 12:44 PM
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And it helps me to remember that I don't have to pick a toxic person again! Thank you Alanon.
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Old 03-07-2015, 12:02 PM
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Thank you. I REALLY needed to hear this tonight. No matter what my faults are, I do not have to accept other people using them to make me feel small.
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Old 03-07-2015, 07:56 PM
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Amen. Doesn't matter HOW you met them or HOW you're related to them.
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Old 03-07-2015, 08:24 PM
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Read an interesting article on this issue.

A psychologist recommended giving the people "permission " to be who they are, who they like to be and how they need to be.

Total disarmament of the tactics.

turns it completely around on them...... Spot lights on their behaviour, not your response and or resistance.

The article went on to say that in 9/10 cases, the offender recognised the behavior as being instigated by them, their personality flaws etc and gave up the behavior.

I'm going to give this a try and see what happens.
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Old 03-07-2015, 08:30 PM
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I've known some people who are charming and fun to be with but who you couldn't trust with anything important.

My approach now is to enjoy the charm but have zero expectations. But I agree that it's best to avoid people who upset you or put you on the defensive. Avoid can include keeping everything at a superficial level.
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Old 03-07-2015, 11:33 PM
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Thank you for this. It's difficult to let go of the expectations that you're supposed to keep certain people in your life regardless of how they treat you. Toxic people are toxic people. Period.
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Old 03-08-2015, 05:36 AM
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Toxic people suck be life right out of me. And they are all over the place, work, church, close circle of friends, relatives, etc.
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Old 03-08-2015, 10:42 PM
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It is very difficult to follow this when it's your step children. But I have to figure out how to.
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Old 03-09-2015, 04:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Clee0308 View Post
It is very difficult to follow this when it's your step children. But I have to figure out how to.
I some cases taking this actions is not easy but necessary.

Sorry you are hurting Clee0308.

Just remember, take care of yourself!
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Old 03-13-2015, 10:09 PM
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Thank you knowthetriggers. After being in their lives for 24 years I am no longer welcome... My husband has been sober 7 1/2 months and they "blame" me for changing him.... Long storey his choice complete surprise to me he wanted sobriety. I have helped raise sd child and can no longer be apart of her life either. That being said the good days are outweighing the sad ones. Things will work out the way they should.....
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Old 03-14-2015, 05:27 AM
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Aww Clee, I am sorry they blame you. I hope they eventually come around. Tight hugs my friend.
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