RedDog735

I am learning SO much from reading and reading. I have been focusing so much on myself lately that I forgot about my Abf. Though at night, I really seem to struggle the most. He called me while I was at the grocery store, and since I was busy, I did not care to answer. Yet when I got home, with nothing to do, I broke down and called back. He says he was worried because I didn't respond to him all day. Said that he isn't sure why I am purposefully ignoring him. I told him it was because I needed my space, only for him to freak out and tell me that I am being dishonest with him.

Why is it that I feel like I am not being a good girlfriend by ignoring him to focus on myself? I feel like I am being dishonest with him.

Duckygirl1

Codie. We put others before ourselves and value their opinion above our own. Focus on yourself because goodness knows he's focusing on himself and his ego is so big he needs you to join in. No guilt needed

LexieCat

I don't quite get what is the deal with your relationship. Are you trying to stay in it or trying to get out of it? You posted about ending it with him, then freaking out because he didn't check in with you for several hours, then you say you're forgetting about him, then you say you're "ignoring" him. Yet you "break down" to call him back, then tell him you need your space, only to have HIM freak out.

I'm not quite sure if you have some confused idea about what "detachment" means or if you just can't make up your mind. I kind of don't blame him for feeling you aren't being honest with him--you are giving him mixed messages left and right.

Maybe you should consider just taking a nice long breather from the relationship. Get some distance while you figure out what it is that you want, and give him the space to do the same.

firebolt

I agree with Lexie - easier said than done, I know.

I also understand the push pull and rollercoaster ride that is an addictive relationship. I can wake up in love and happy as a clam, and then want to strangle him in his sleep, throw a burning match at the house, and walk away forever when we go to bed - all in the same day. That is my problem - and it is a big one. If you are able - separation would probably be the most efficient way to get a clear head about the whole thing.

Again - easier said than done, I know.