I want to apologize
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 306
I want to apologize
I want to apologize for creating drama here and for any bad feelings I may have triggered in anyone. I don't want to hurt others.
I'm okay, today is a better day. Not great, but better than the dark place I was in. I'm ashamed that I got to that place. I'm on antidepressants which obviously aren't helping me. Going to call my Dr and see if she can do anything over the phone and without me having insurance.
Everything in my life seems like a huge obstacle. Road blocks everywhere.
Choices that don't feel like choices to me. Where I lose something I don't want to lose with each one. Feels like those choices cost too much.
I guess I had a temporary lapse of sanity.
That's all not like me, I am and have always been a fighter. I've always had to be.
I think I'll re-activate my facebook, as it's a major source of contact with the outside world and God knows I am desperately in need of all of that that I can get.
I'm not ready to unblock my brothers and mom though. I still need to work through all of that. I know they will never see my side and they will always feel like they offered the answer to all my problems and I didn't take it.
It's not that easy.
And hey, my 19yo daughter is driving in to take me out to lunch today!
I pray I don't have a panic attack out in society!
Again, I'm sorry for drama or hurt feelings.
I'm okay, today is a better day. Not great, but better than the dark place I was in. I'm ashamed that I got to that place. I'm on antidepressants which obviously aren't helping me. Going to call my Dr and see if she can do anything over the phone and without me having insurance.
Everything in my life seems like a huge obstacle. Road blocks everywhere.
Choices that don't feel like choices to me. Where I lose something I don't want to lose with each one. Feels like those choices cost too much.
I guess I had a temporary lapse of sanity.
That's all not like me, I am and have always been a fighter. I've always had to be.
I think I'll re-activate my facebook, as it's a major source of contact with the outside world and God knows I am desperately in need of all of that that I can get.
I'm not ready to unblock my brothers and mom though. I still need to work through all of that. I know they will never see my side and they will always feel like they offered the answer to all my problems and I didn't take it.
It's not that easy.
And hey, my 19yo daughter is driving in to take me out to lunch today!
I pray I don't have a panic attack out in society!
Again, I'm sorry for drama or hurt feelings.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Santa Rosa CA
Posts: 240
Hi Pink!
Good to hear from you.
Recently I went through a very dark place myself. I have had health issues which are well, challengning to put it mildly.
After about 2 weeks in bed and no pain relief in sight - I got pneumonia.
I really felt AT THAT TIME that I would rather die.
Thank god I told a good friend.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, we are all just humans doing the best we can with what we have.
Hang in there, a month ago I would have bet that I would never make it through another day
But HERE I AM!
Hugs!
Good to hear from you.
Recently I went through a very dark place myself. I have had health issues which are well, challengning to put it mildly.
After about 2 weeks in bed and no pain relief in sight - I got pneumonia.
I really felt AT THAT TIME that I would rather die.
Thank god I told a good friend.
It's nothing to be ashamed of, we are all just humans doing the best we can with what we have.
Hang in there, a month ago I would have bet that I would never make it through another day
But HERE I AM!
Hugs!
Just hugs Pink, lots & lots of hugs! Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,332
Pink, I am glad you are feeling better but why don't you have insurance? You and your husband would certainly qualify for subsidies or even Medicaid. I am fairly certain your state is one of the ones that expanded coverage
torquemax777
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Montrose CO
Posts: 350
I was curious if you ever went back and read your previous thread "after" your last reply. There's like a whole page or two of helpful suggestions, love, support, and concern. But I can't see anywhere that you "thanked" or replied to any of them, which makes me wonder if you even saw them? You should go back to that thread and read every post after your last comment which I think is all of page 3 and 4. Really cool stuff there; wouldn't want you to miss out.
Glad you're seeming to be doing better.
Have a peaceful day.
Glad you're seeming to be doing better.
Have a peaceful day.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Gotta speak up and out when you're feeling like that.
Probably why you are feeling better now
Good idea going to the Dr.
Depression is serious stuff.
A chemical imbalance in the brain.
It's not something that is treated by "just pull yourself up by your boot straps "
Or "snap out of it"
Reach out get help.
All the best
Probably why you are feeling better now
Good idea going to the Dr.
Depression is serious stuff.
A chemical imbalance in the brain.
It's not something that is treated by "just pull yourself up by your boot straps "
Or "snap out of it"
Reach out get help.
All the best
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 306
Originally Posted by Hawks 
Gotta speak up and out when you're feeling like that.
Probably why you are feeling better now
Good idea going to the Dr.
Depression is serious stuff.
A chemical imbalance in the brain.
It's not something that is treated by "just pull yourself up by your boot straps "
Or "snap out of it"
Reach out get help.
All the best
Probably why you are feeling better now
Good idea going to the Dr.
Depression is serious stuff.
A chemical imbalance in the brain.
It's not something that is treated by "just pull yourself up by your boot straps "
Or "snap out of it"
Reach out get help.
All the best
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
I know, I've seen you post about your profession before.
Like alcoholic folk who know they are alcoholic......... The knowledge doesn't abate the problem.
But it's a start.
Knowing what you know hasn't been enough to prevent your current situation.
You know what to do now though.
Like alcoholic folk who know they are alcoholic......... The knowledge doesn't abate the problem.
But it's a start.
Knowing what you know hasn't been enough to prevent your current situation.
You know what to do now though.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 306
Originally Posted by torquemax777
I was curious if you ever went back and read your previous thread "after" your last reply. There's like a whole page or two of helpful suggestions, love, support, and concern. But I can't see anywhere that you "thanked" or replied to any of them, which makes me wonder if you even saw them? You should go back to that thread and read every post after your last comment which I think is all of page 3 and 4. Really cool stuff there; wouldn't want you to miss out.
Glad you're seeming to be doing better.
Have a peaceful day.
Glad you're seeming to be doing better.
Have a peaceful day.
I probably wasnt in the frame of mind to "thanks" them.
Not that I wasn't and am not thankful.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
No apologies necessary. Just always remember that posts here are almost always grounded in love and concern, because we've all had huge obstacles we've had to face. Not always the exact same ones, but ones that felt just as daunting at the time.
Hugs, glad you're feeling a little better. Hope you have a nice lunch with your daughter.
Hugs, glad you're feeling a little better. Hope you have a nice lunch with your daughter.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Santa Rosa CA
Posts: 240
Originally Posted by pinkpeony
Thanks, the irony is that I'm a psych nurse and I know all of that, but when your sick brain takes over, you see things very differently.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
