Talk with A
Radar
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 199
Talk with A
Happy Sunday, everyone. Gabe, Magic, and Clancy thanks for your advice about going to the party last night. I didn't go but that's a good thing. I told him that I was going to go and why I didn't think it was a good idea if he went as there would be alcohol there. That started a conversation that really helped both of us see where each other is coming from.
We took the dogs for a walk and laid out the rules of engagement so we didn't end up in a fight like we do so much. First we took turns speaking about where we are right now in our minds, which made us understand each other more. I said I want a sober life, healthy in body and mind and a good spiritual life. I told him about this board, and that I'm going to continue with Al-Anon, church and exercise.
It's not all good. His main concern is that I get off his back about his drinking and if he wants a beer or 2 or 3 while watching football, he shouldn't have to feel guilty. So I told him what I have learned... he is now responsible for buying his own alcohol... if he gets a DUI, he has to sell his truck or dip into his IRA and I won't bail him out of jail. I won't try to get him to bed so he can get a good night sleep before work and I won't set his alarm. If he gets too drunk, I'll leave the house and go to a friends or a hotel for the night. I said he has to take the consequences of his drinking if he wants to drink and I won't be there to enable him. That's where the talk pretty much ended. It was an eye opener for both of us.
So, thanks to you all. I'm learning how to handle this and although I'm really new at it, I think with practice, I'll be able to handle this better and find peace.
I'm heading off to church so I'll talk at you all later.
We took the dogs for a walk and laid out the rules of engagement so we didn't end up in a fight like we do so much. First we took turns speaking about where we are right now in our minds, which made us understand each other more. I said I want a sober life, healthy in body and mind and a good spiritual life. I told him about this board, and that I'm going to continue with Al-Anon, church and exercise.
It's not all good. His main concern is that I get off his back about his drinking and if he wants a beer or 2 or 3 while watching football, he shouldn't have to feel guilty. So I told him what I have learned... he is now responsible for buying his own alcohol... if he gets a DUI, he has to sell his truck or dip into his IRA and I won't bail him out of jail. I won't try to get him to bed so he can get a good night sleep before work and I won't set his alarm. If he gets too drunk, I'll leave the house and go to a friends or a hotel for the night. I said he has to take the consequences of his drinking if he wants to drink and I won't be there to enable him. That's where the talk pretty much ended. It was an eye opener for both of us.
So, thanks to you all. I'm learning how to handle this and although I'm really new at it, I think with practice, I'll be able to handle this better and find peace.
I'm heading off to church so I'll talk at you all later.
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