this is my mom
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
this is my mom
I'm so angry. This is my mom you guys.
She was asked to come to be a support to me. I can't sleep, I'm frustrated with my roommate, so I ask mom to bring my back pack to me so I can study my diagrams and when on my laptop for school. She is refusing to do it. Saying that I need to sleep instead. I'm about in tears. I have a mid term on Tuesday, I don't like watching tv, my battery charger is not here for my phone.
Why is she doing this? Why wont she just support me and let me have my laptop and books?
This is not support. This is why I hate having her around. I have sh1t to do.
I'm stuck here without a phone charger, my make up bag, my school books..... And in all actuality, I know she is refusing because she simply doesn't want to drive into town. My mom is pretty lazy and doesn't do anything she doesn't want to.
F this.
She was asked to come to be a support to me. I can't sleep, I'm frustrated with my roommate, so I ask mom to bring my back pack to me so I can study my diagrams and when on my laptop for school. She is refusing to do it. Saying that I need to sleep instead. I'm about in tears. I have a mid term on Tuesday, I don't like watching tv, my battery charger is not here for my phone.
Why is she doing this? Why wont she just support me and let me have my laptop and books?
This is not support. This is why I hate having her around. I have sh1t to do.
I'm stuck here without a phone charger, my make up bag, my school books..... And in all actuality, I know she is refusing because she simply doesn't want to drive into town. My mom is pretty lazy and doesn't do anything she doesn't want to.
F this.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Welllllll........you may not like my response Free.
You just had a hysterectomy TODAY. Mom is right. You need to rest. I have a feeling if you had what you asked for that you would force yourself to stay up and study.
Rest, seriously, you need to. Makeup? Come on girl.
Why don't you ask the nurses to bring you something to relax you and sleep. Get mom to bring those things to you tomorrow.
I hope you are feeling ok sounds like you it went well. Prayers for a fast recovery!
You just had a hysterectomy TODAY. Mom is right. You need to rest. I have a feeling if you had what you asked for that you would force yourself to stay up and study.
Rest, seriously, you need to. Makeup? Come on girl.
Why don't you ask the nurses to bring you something to relax you and sleep. Get mom to bring those things to you tomorrow.
I hope you are feeling ok sounds like you it went well. Prayers for a fast recovery!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hate to say it kiddo, but I agree with red. You just had freakin' surgery. Some innards taken out, ya know? Cut yourself a break.
You'll be home soon and then you can do whatever you want. File this under the category of "things I cannot change" and ACCEPT that for this brief period of time you are out of commission. Getting all bent out of shape doesn't help anything.
You'll be home soon and then you can do whatever you want. File this under the category of "things I cannot change" and ACCEPT that for this brief period of time you are out of commission. Getting all bent out of shape doesn't help anything.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
No your right. I don't like your response.
I'm 32 years old and laying here staring at the wall would be just as restful as doing some math problems, browsing on the web, or matching up diagrams.
This is not support (on her part). This is once again about control and getting her way. Plus she brought my 12 year old sister and everyone is celebrating her birthday at home right now. So it's not about love and caring. It's about her. It's always about mom. Plain and simple. If someone told me that they would feel better if they had done items why them at the hospital... Why would I NOT comply?
Yes I'm angry. This is not her decision. She can't just "play mom" when she wants. Plus, laying here and working on my laptop is just as resting as laying and watching tv.
I'm 32 years old and laying here staring at the wall would be just as restful as doing some math problems, browsing on the web, or matching up diagrams.
This is not support (on her part). This is once again about control and getting her way. Plus she brought my 12 year old sister and everyone is celebrating her birthday at home right now. So it's not about love and caring. It's about her. It's always about mom. Plain and simple. If someone told me that they would feel better if they had done items why them at the hospital... Why would I NOT comply?
Yes I'm angry. This is not her decision. She can't just "play mom" when she wants. Plus, laying here and working on my laptop is just as resting as laying and watching tv.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 273
As somebody who gets endlessly irritated by my passive aggressive mother (and I'm no spring chicken) I do GET where you're coming from. That said its nice to know you're chipper enough to be venting here.
Be good to yourself:-)
Be good to yourself:-)
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
So maybe she doesn't have good motives. Honestly? If I were there (and you GOTTA know I'm in your corner a hundred percent) I don't think I'd be bringing you your laptop until tomorrow.
If you're bound and determined to study, against all advice to the contrary, why not ask one of the nurses if they have some textbooks or nursing manual you can look at? Tell them you are a nursing student and going bonkers not having anything to read. They've gotta have some journals or something around there you could peruse.
If you're bound and determined to study, against all advice to the contrary, why not ask one of the nurses if they have some textbooks or nursing manual you can look at? Tell them you are a nursing student and going bonkers not having anything to read. They've gotta have some journals or something around there you could peruse.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Riverwood
Posts: 124
Although I'm with the supportive comments regarding you needing your rest...this is your life and your choice. Keeping busy can help take your mind off things. I think you know yourself better than anyone there, or here for that matter. Remember, most of us here are also working on control issues.
Many of us who fall into the trap of being with abusers who don't respect us, come from parents who don't respect us. Believe me, I totally get this. How will you ever have the guts to make your own decisions when you are treated like a child who can't even have a simple request respected? No wonder you second guess yourself when trying to stay firm about things.
Do you think your mom will go behind your back and collaberate with your AH or others in order to control you? Has she done things behind your back before? If you set a boundary or insist on something, will she respect you or will she punish you? I don't know your mom, but I don't trust mine (not to meddle and control) as far as I could throw her.
I wish one of us could be there with you and have your back!
Personally, I'd send mom packing if your kids or anyone else are capable of respecting your wishes and helping you.
I'm glad you can at least keep in touch with us. Is there anything we could do to help you research stuff online to get your mind off of where you're currently stuck?
Can you get YouTube? I'm sure I could dig up something either amusing or informative. Just say the word my friend!
Many of us who fall into the trap of being with abusers who don't respect us, come from parents who don't respect us. Believe me, I totally get this. How will you ever have the guts to make your own decisions when you are treated like a child who can't even have a simple request respected? No wonder you second guess yourself when trying to stay firm about things.
Do you think your mom will go behind your back and collaberate with your AH or others in order to control you? Has she done things behind your back before? If you set a boundary or insist on something, will she respect you or will she punish you? I don't know your mom, but I don't trust mine (not to meddle and control) as far as I could throw her.
I wish one of us could be there with you and have your back!
Personally, I'd send mom packing if your kids or anyone else are capable of respecting your wishes and helping you.
I'm glad you can at least keep in touch with us. Is there anything we could do to help you research stuff online to get your mind off of where you're currently stuck?
Can you get YouTube? I'm sure I could dig up something either amusing or informative. Just say the word my friend!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Free, I understand where you are coming from. I had my hysterectomy on a Tuesday in early December and went back to work on that Monday. I can see how you are feeling ok and it is a waste of time sitting there. For some reason I got out the same day, so it was a little easier for me being home (by myself).
Take care of yourself and do what they say. I guess they know better!!
Take care of yourself and do what they say. I guess they know better!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
depending on the undependable always leads to frustration.
RIGHT NOW you need to let all the crap GO and get some rest. trust me, the world will still spin on its axis even if you take a day off!!! first things first. you take care of you in this moment, and the rest will work out. getting stressed out will NOT help your healing.
be calm, get zen, let it all go.
RIGHT NOW you need to let all the crap GO and get some rest. trust me, the world will still spin on its axis even if you take a day off!!! first things first. you take care of you in this moment, and the rest will work out. getting stressed out will NOT help your healing.
be calm, get zen, let it all go.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 845
Free, I don't usually disclose anything about my work here, but this might be relevant: I teach at the college level, and if a student came to me and told me they were having a hysterectomy, I would give them as much time as they needed to recover and prepare for their next exam. Have you tried talking to your teachers? I'm sure they would want you to rest.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
No I do understand where everyone is coming from. I really do. I just operate on a level of needing to stay busy (in mind) and learning, reading, etc is my outlet. If I was reading a romance novel, people would applaud.
I'm sorry, my post came back really offensive and rude. That wasn't my intent. I'm just frustrated with my mom and I'm hot, my roomie won't let me sleep, and I'm just not "resting" here. Ugh
Sorry guys, your right.
I'm sorry, my post came back really offensive and rude. That wasn't my intent. I'm just frustrated with my mom and I'm hot, my roomie won't let me sleep, and I'm just not "resting" here. Ugh
Sorry guys, your right.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Free - I totally get it. I'm a former nurse, and I don't "do" lying around and resting very well
The last time I took my stepsister to the ER for migraines, between the two of us we had 2 smart phones, a tablet and an iPad. I was dragging all the chargers around.
TBH, though, if you were the nurse and had a patient who had just been through surgery, what would you recommend? Have you told them you can't sleep?
You do need your rest. I get the anger at your mom but in all honesty, I think a part of this is that you're just not happy at feeling helpless to do what you want to. I get that, too.
I felt like I needed to be studying, nonstop, when I was in nursing school. What I found, though, after being forced into some situations that MADE me take a break (a day or night) was that I actually did better on tests.
Everyone here cares about you, we are here for you, but the general consensus is that you do need some rest. I hope you get some.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
The last time I took my stepsister to the ER for migraines, between the two of us we had 2 smart phones, a tablet and an iPad. I was dragging all the chargers around.TBH, though, if you were the nurse and had a patient who had just been through surgery, what would you recommend? Have you told them you can't sleep?
You do need your rest. I get the anger at your mom but in all honesty, I think a part of this is that you're just not happy at feeling helpless to do what you want to. I get that, too.
I felt like I needed to be studying, nonstop, when I was in nursing school. What I found, though, after being forced into some situations that MADE me take a break (a day or night) was that I actually did better on tests.
Everyone here cares about you, we are here for you, but the general consensus is that you do need some rest. I hope you get some.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by freetosmile 
No I do understand where everyone is coming from. I really do. I just operate on a level of needing to stay busy (in mind) and learning, reading, etc is my outlet. If I was reading a romance novel, people would applaud.
Seriously I am glad that the operation went well. I wanted to tell you to get some rest but I am afraid you will throw your bedpan at my head.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Just ((((((((((hugs))))))))))), you'll be out of there tomorrow, and when you finish school and are a nurse, you will hope that you never have a patient like you. (lol)
Now get some rest, you know you won't get it at home.
((((((((((((more hugs)))))))))))
amy
Now get some rest, you know you won't get it at home.
((((((((((((more hugs)))))))))))
amy
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
Yes I have told them I can't sleep. I will be taking some Ambien here in a few min. And yes, feeling controlled and regarded to as a child pisses me off a lot. But I'm chomping at the bit too, I need to just relax.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
Originally Posted by Carlotta
Not me. I d tell you how romance novels are a training ground for codependency
Seriously I am glad that the operation went well. I wanted to tell you to get some rest but I am afraid you will throw your bedpan at my head.
Seriously I am glad that the operation went well. I wanted to tell you to get some rest but I am afraid you will throw your bedpan at my head.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Niki...................
You're one tough cookie............. You sound well enough to go home now, but wait................. your mom is there, (lol) I think it is better to just rest up and go home tomorrow and get her out of there.
As much as you hate this, enjoy your rest time.
((((hugs))))
amy
You're one tough cookie............. You sound well enough to go home now, but wait................. your mom is there, (lol) I think it is better to just rest up and go home tomorrow and get her out of there.
As much as you hate this, enjoy your rest time.
((((hugs))))
amy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 65
Hi freetosmile. I hope your sleeping well while I type this! I've been around here off and on for about 9 months. I check back in every once in a while when I need to vent and I read the threads while I'm here. That being said, I don't know your story well. And I certainly don't know your mom. I did go back and read some. You have 5 kids at home from 14 - 9 and your mom brought your 12 year old sister with her. That's 6 kids. Could it be that asking her to load 6 kids up on an evening that she's celebrating the 12 year old's birthday was a little much? I think coming to stay with 5 kids is supportive. I'm sorry you don't have a good relationship with her. That much was obvious from the way you posted about her coming before you even had the surgery. Just thought I'd offer another way of looking at the situation. Everything is worse when we feel bad. I hope you're better soon. Get strong and stay strong!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
