seasaw

My lawyer just called. Scratch that - HER lawyer just called. He's a guardianship law specialist I found last spring when I didn't know what to do with my (now NC) AH, and was considering getting legal guardianship in order to hospitalize her.

I gave him a retainer (using my visa), went to him several times for advice, and ended up taking her there (a harrowing tale I will never forget!) to get papers signed giving POA to that third party nonprofit I left her care to. He really helped me a lot through all that!

So he just called me as a courtesy, to let me know she had just called HIM, to say she was getting a new lawyer - who would be in touch with him soon - and she wanted 'her' retainer back - and that she hoped he was aware he wasn't legally allowed to represent ME.

i am sick with nerves. I just want her to leave me alone. It's true that he can't represent me if it comes to it because he prepared documenta last year for her, so technically she's his client. But he said he could refer me to someone else if it comes to it. What the **** does she WANT

I asked him if she sounded lucid on the phone or if she was slurring her words - he said she sounded pretty lucid but that doesnt mean anything. It's just as likely as anything that she won't remember making the call tomorrow. Or that she's coming after me again.

gettingstronger

Oh, I'm so sorry you're now dealing with this latest craziness. sending hugs!

Eauchiche

"she wanted 'her' retainer back...."

I too have noticed my separated mate referring to me in first person singular. The latest was in a letter to my new landlord, where my mate said that HE was the one renting the place.

I have not read this in any literature, but I wonder if late stage alkies take on a narcissistic bent, where everyone else becomes an extension of themselves.

I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you have a good attorney who is looking out for you. Please keep coming back!

jjj111

Just to clarify, is it your alcoholic mother who is causing the trouble? I was confused by "AH" and subsequent feminine pronouns. Anyway, what a nightmare! I know it's easier said than done, but maybe hope it blows over and she's just quacking? My sister, an alcoholic addict, threatened to cause all sorts of legal trouble when my Mom died, but in the end she was too bogged down in her addiction to have the follow through that legal action requires. So sorry you are going through this!

Refiner

I think he meant AW and not AH?

CodeJob

I think this is AM, Seasaw's mom.

well, hopefully it will be frivolous and will amount to a hill of beans. Peace Seasaw.

seasaw

I apologize! It was a typo. I meant "AM," as CodeJob said!

This happened right before my therapist appointment, and she and Mr. Seasaw helped me get some perspective.

I experienced (and am still experiencing a little tiny bit of) panicky feelings because that phone call reminding me that my mother is now very capable of doing that kind of thing. It brought right back to the surface how her savage and litigious side can be shown toward even me, now. The phone call reminded me of what I already knew.

BUT, in reality - nothing actually happened yesterday. I was informed that my mom got a new lawyer - well that's nothing big. And really I don't even know THAT, I just know she said that to someone.

I don't need to do anything at this point. My therapist pointed out - this was a biggie for me! - that if I got a lawyer now just in case something happened, I would be letting my imaginations of what she's doing, letting her negative presence in my mind, just letting HER, dictate and influence my actions and my life more.

In the here and now, nothing's happening. If something does happen, I can take the appropriate action.

PHEW. Oy. Jeez. Etc. Thank you. I worry that I post too much. Go figure.

hopeful4

I completely agree with your therapist. No point in trying to address troubles that don't exist at this point.

Tight hugs. Good job to therapist and Mr. Seasaw!

DoubleDragons

Seasaw, I am the queen of future tripping, especially when it comes to my AM. I have noticed a pattern of when I put people who distress me out of my mind they do seem to have a tendency to slip out of my life. I think any kind of energy, postive or negative, thought or action,that we put into any person keeps us tied into them and the sick people just love this! I like that you are not getting another lawyer at this juncture. I think it is wise. You have gone NC with your mom, now if you can find a way to go NC with her in your mind, you will be truly free. I wish I could say that I have had the strength to go NC at all, but I haven't. You are an inspiration to me.