The Language of Letting Go, Feb. 25
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The Language of Letting Go, Feb. 25
FEBRUARY 25
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Accepting Imperfection
"Why do I do this to myself?" asked a woman who wanted to lose weight. "I went to my support group feeling so guilty and ashamed because I ate half a cookie that wasn't on the diet. I found out that everyone cheats a little, and some people cheat a lot. I felt so ashamed before I came to the group, as though I were the only one not doing my diet perfectly. Now I know that I'm dieting as well as most, and better than some."
Why do we do this to ourselves? I'm not talking strictly about dieting, I'm talking about life. Why do we punish ourselves by thinking that we're inferior while believing that others are perfect--whether in relationships, recovery, or a specific task?
Whether we're judging others or ourselves it's two sides of the same coin: perfection. Neither expectation is valid.
It is far more accurate and beneficial to tell ourselves that who we are is okay and what we are doing is good enough. That doesn't mean we won't make mistakes that need correcting; doesn't mean we won't get off track from time to time; doesn't mean we can't improve. It means with all our mistakes and wandering, we're basically on course. Encouraging and approving of ourselves is how we help ourselves stay on track.
Today, I will love and encourage myself. I will tell myself that what I'm doing is good enough, and I'll let myself enjoy that feeling.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Accepting Imperfection
"Why do I do this to myself?" asked a woman who wanted to lose weight. "I went to my support group feeling so guilty and ashamed because I ate half a cookie that wasn't on the diet. I found out that everyone cheats a little, and some people cheat a lot. I felt so ashamed before I came to the group, as though I were the only one not doing my diet perfectly. Now I know that I'm dieting as well as most, and better than some."
Why do we do this to ourselves? I'm not talking strictly about dieting, I'm talking about life. Why do we punish ourselves by thinking that we're inferior while believing that others are perfect--whether in relationships, recovery, or a specific task?
Whether we're judging others or ourselves it's two sides of the same coin: perfection. Neither expectation is valid.
It is far more accurate and beneficial to tell ourselves that who we are is okay and what we are doing is good enough. That doesn't mean we won't make mistakes that need correcting; doesn't mean we won't get off track from time to time; doesn't mean we can't improve. It means with all our mistakes and wandering, we're basically on course. Encouraging and approving of ourselves is how we help ourselves stay on track.
Today, I will love and encourage myself. I will tell myself that what I'm doing is good enough, and I'll let myself enjoy that feeling.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
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Originally Posted by honeypig 
FEBRUARY 25
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Accepting Imperfection
. "I went to my support group feeling so guilty and ashamed because I ate half a cookie that wasn't on the diet. I found out that everyone cheats a little, and some people cheat a lot. I felt so ashamed before I came to the group, as though I were the only one not doing my diet perfectly. Now I know that I'm dieting as well as most, and better than some."
.
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Accepting Imperfection
. "I went to my support group feeling so guilty and ashamed because I ate half a cookie that wasn't on the diet. I found out that everyone cheats a little, and some people cheat a lot. I felt so ashamed before I came to the group, as though I were the only one not doing my diet perfectly. Now I know that I'm dieting as well as most, and better than some."
.
Just wonder - is it inappropriate for me to show this to him? I mean I can see how we both relate to the reading. We punish ourselves as much as the A punish themselves.
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trigger, I wouldn't. A "slip" for an alcoholic isn't like cheating on a diet. Slips can be deadly. There's plenty of room for alcoholics to be imperfect, but the "not drinking" part is the one place where "perfection" is essential to recovery. It doesn't help anyone to berate him/herself after a slip, but it can't be passed off as, "oh, well, nobody's perfect," either.
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I'd agree w/Lexie about "perfection", drinking and the A--there are some areas in life where there is no room for error, and that is one of them.
For me, the degree of "perfection" I strive for is related to the consequences if I don't achieve "perfection." If it's that I eat a piece of cheesecake when I'm supposed to be dieting, well, it means I've slowed my weight loss for that week. Unfortunate, but not life changing.
If it's that I run a red light while texting and driving, it could mean someone dies.
So I think there does need to be some interpretation in applying this.
For me, the degree of "perfection" I strive for is related to the consequences if I don't achieve "perfection." If it's that I eat a piece of cheesecake when I'm supposed to be dieting, well, it means I've slowed my weight loss for that week. Unfortunate, but not life changing.
If it's that I run a red light while texting and driving, it could mean someone dies.
So I think there does need to be some interpretation in applying this.
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