Gracey

Good morning everyone

I found my first face to face meeting lastnight..........very exciting....I really thought it was inspirational.....

My H gave me a hard time about going........he said the subject made him sick to say the least....I didnt let his negativity bring me down though...I went and was very glad that I did.........when I came home he said that I wasnt going to make this a habit am I?? ergggggggggg.......I think he feel threatened somehow no matter how much encouragement I tried to give him....I tried to explain to him that it has nothing to do with him........it has to do with my recovery.............oh well...........I am not sure how to handle this.........

When I came home lastnight.........I had a great feeling about myself and my recovery............I am really going to work hard at it......I didnt sleep well lastnight..........I kept having this reocurring dream about my husbands affair.....and I must have woke up 4 times not including the one where my Golden retriever woke me up to go outside............I was scared in my dream I was crying so hard and had this feeling of begging him not to leave me and what a mistake he was making..............

While I was showering this morning, I was thinking about carefuly walking on rocks to cross a stream and you know how careful you have to be to make sure you walk on them so carefuly so you dont slip and fall..........you have to make sure you step on them just right........that has been my life........with my parents, with my husband, and with everyone that I know........there is no room for mistakes...........if you make the simplest mistake you will slip and fall and drown in them.............

I am trying to learn that it is okay to make mistakes and just because I make them doesnt mean I have to drown in them.............I need to get back on that rock and try to venture to the next one without making the same mistake that made me fall in the first place............

I keep thinking that I am a freak guys............

Magichappens

((Breec))
Stop being so mean to yourself. You are making great strides in your recovery. Of course there is a lot of things that aren't going to get fixed overnight. It took you all your life to develope them. It will take a little time to get your ducks in a row. Be gentle with yourself. Baby steps. Don't try to take it all on at once. My head would explode if I tried to take everything that is wrong with me on at once. I have to love myself, warts and all, and take baby steps in the direction I want to head.
I see major growth in you. You wouldn't even consider going to a meeting, and now you have, and you liked it. Whazup with that? Now quit thinking about all the negative stuff, and find something possitive about you. You deserve some pampering and loving from yourself. That is my challenge for you today. Every time you think about something negative, you have to make yourself think of one good thing about you. This is not an easy assignment. If you try this, let me know how you do. If you don't try this, do NOT beat yourself up because you didn't.
You can learn to be your biggest cheerleader and fan. We will cheer for you til then. Hugs, Magic

myles1

Don't know why you think you are a freak.

You'll get better just keep on with what you are doing.

Put the baseball bat away Breec.

Ngaire

Teggie

Gee, I guess we are all freaks then eh?? You sound great hun! Keep doing what you been doing and don't look back! Hugs! Teggie

Lorelai

(((Breec)))
I think you sound great. You're making huge progress and I'm happy for you.
Hugs - L