freetosmile

I took a break from SR this weekend....ha! Two days without it was ALL I could take. love you guys too much to stay away.

I have a big week. Surgery on Friday, mom coming down Thursday (ugh), and making sure that I have all my ducks in a row for school.

I allowed AH to spend some time with the kids this weekend while I went shopping. They were all really happy about it. He is about three weeks into his mood stabilizer. He sought the med himself. It has made a difference, both the kids and I can tell. The kids are wondering why I won't let him move back in. I just told them it wasn't that easy.

I don't really know how to feel about anything right now. I'm just kind of floating around it feels like. I haven't really been much of a support to my friends here on SR lately, not giving a lot of feedback and all. I apologize for that. I've been in a quiet phase (which is super odd for me).

Just know that I cherish you all and am so grateful for everything SR has done for me. Not much else to say, its pretty calm on this end....weird.

CodeJob

Hi Free,

It is perfectly OK to take a break on recovery. You have made incredible strides. Your life is full and busy without dealing with you H and yor recovery. I have taken breaks. I've read books for fun. I've gone where there is no Internet and enjoyed the break.

Often when I come back to my recovery, I realize I was assimilating new knowledge and behaviors. Even though I was taking a break, a part of me was Instilling change.

For example, you are nervous about your mom. Maybe your recovery will show itself in setting some ground rules with her. It is not all about the H.

I'll be praying for a quick recovery from your surgery!

amy55

Hi Free,

I'm really glad that you are feeling some of that calmness. Enjoy it. I think you are doing terrific !!!!!

Hoping you have a speedy recovery, will be checking in on you.

((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy

dandylion

free....for you, calm and quiet must feel like a gift from heaven. Best, also, I think to go into surgery feeling calm and quiet. Reduced stress levels, ya know....

dandylion

***hint from Heloise....mothers, all us mothers...(even "difficult" ones)...want to feel needed and appreciated for the things that we do. It might help keep the waters smoother if you can find times to slather her with "thank yous". Even if you have to force it a bit....(wink, wink).

SeriousKarma

Very good point CodeJob! In fact, I would go so far as to say that our relationship with our addict is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of our recovery.

No apologies needed, Free. Just take care of yourself.

How long will mom be there? Does she get along with the kids alright?

maia1234

Free,
Glad you are not jumping back in with the A. Give yourself some time and let him do some recovery on his own. You have enough to worry about.

Glad you got some time to yourself, take care and good luck with surgery Friday. I will keep you in my prayers.

freetosmile

Ha! That's funny you should ask. My 12 year old actually prayed in youth group for grandma to "behave herself"...this is the daughter that got told by grandma that she had " the devil inside her"....

We'll see. My T is adamant that she leave as soon as possible. So maybe have her here just a couple days. It sucks too because my mom is also addicted to pain meds and she is a walking pharmacy for every narcotic under the sun. I've explained before that I have had a problem with pills in the past. Mom likes to dish then out like candy. But I'll be pretty under the weather so, I don't think it will be an issue for me this time around. I have avoided her un the past because of this (and of course because she was really abusive as a kid).

So....I'll just hunker down and deal with it.

dandylion

free...you may not need pain pills of the narcotic variety after discharge. After discharge, myself--after abdominal surgery for ruptured ectopic pregnancy...I only had over the counter, if I needed it..like ibuprophen. Actually, I didn't take anything. (had demerol IM in hospital for 2 days).

Those with c-sections are discharged, all the time, with nothing except over-the counter...like tylenol.

dandylion

SeriousKarma

My mother used to say that people should only visit for three days.

"One day to get there, one day to visit, and one day to leave."

Maybe, if everything goes well, you can keep it to this timeframe. Short and sweet.

LexieCat

Sounds like you've made all the preparations you can make.

However difficult your mom is, try not to project too much about how things will go. She's bound to do things that irritate you, but unless she is actually abusive to the kids, let it go. It's only for a couple of days, and you do need the help for that brief period of time.

Hugs,

Gonnachange

From what you've written you're well prepared and I'm glad that you've been able to experience some calmness.

Wishing you well.

pinkpeony

will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, free

I like the sounds of the three day visit as explained by seriouskarma!

SeriousKarma

When my MIL came to visit once I started her visit by saying a daily prayer "Please God, show me what you love about this woman."

That got me through about five days. At day six the prayer changed to something along the lines of "Please don't let me do something criminal that I'll regret."

The last two weeks of her three week visit were a living hell, but those first five days were actually quite nice.

maia1234

I had a hysterectomy in December. My X picked up the main meds. He asked if he could have a few for his stash. I think he took like ten. I appreciated that he picked them up for me.

I took none!!! I didnt want the side effects of the meds. He needed them more then me.

hopeful4

Free, it's good to hear from you! I will be praying for you this week. I know you will get through this and that you will be ok. It's absolutely fine to be quiet and take it all in sometimes. It can be very beneficial for yourself.

We are here with you!!! Much love coming your way!

Katchie

Hugs sweet girl...at least you're getting things ready so you can relax, have the surgery, and heal. It may not be ideal but at the the kids will be secure and so will you. I'll be praying for you and that all goes as smoothly as it can considering some of the people. I know it will!