fluffyflea

Just putting out my thoughts here, I don't want to be flamed...........

I should have left well enough alone after Sunday's nonsense and that is what it is "nonsense" and not have called him Monday to relieve my own anxiety and even guilt for some reason"..........

Gave my power away again..............

Eauchiche

It's OKAY. You recognized that you "fell off the wagon," and you've gotten back on now. It sounds like you learn from mistakes.

Hang in there, and keep coming back!

fluffyflea

I think it was GOD trying to do for me what I can't do for myself.

LifeRecovery

Earthworm-

what you had happen....is the only way I learn.

marie1960

Life is trial and error sometimes.

I wish there was an official handbook to guide us through ending a relationship with an alcoholic.

For some reason ending my relationship with an alcoholic was actually more painful than divorcing my husband of 15 years, the father of my three daughters.

It's weird, I still find myself remembering the wonderful person he was before his disease progressed. His potential lost. What a waste of a beautiful mind , and kind soul. It truly reminds me of grieving the death of a loved one. The difference being you still see this person, living and breathing, going thru life, perfectly fine living in their world of denial, searching for their next enabler, leaves a sick, empty feeling in the bottom of my stomach.

There is no right or wrong answer here, think it's just the way life has to play out........ until we reach the level of acceptance and surrender, these things continue to happen.


Hang in there, friend. Better days ahead.

LexieCat

So what happened when you called him on Monday?

And yes, it probably WAS a mistake (the kind we all make from time to time), but what specifically makes you look at this as "an incredible mistake"?

fluffyflea

I should have left well enough alone, not called and kept my power.

If I'm always giving away my power to him what good is that.

It's time to walk down another street.......

What happened? When he called back the usual apology I'm sorry it was a stupid thing to say blah blah blah.

It's incredible because I always end up making it too easy for him.......

biminiblue

You're okay.

Like we say on the alcoholics side, "put a line under it and move forward."

Beating yourself up doesn't help.

Sungrl

Today is a new day. No calls, no texts, no drama. Onward

LexieCat

And did HE apologize, too? I'm betting not.

You're OK, it's a process to change our responses. A big part of it is sitting with the discomfort of having someone unhappy with us. I know that was a tough one for me. The thing is, even if you got a little sarcastic with him when you called, you WERE expressing your hurt and he was dismissive about it. It isn't always about who blinks first. Maybe you can work on resisting the urge to be responsible for how things feel between the two of you. If you don't run and fix it, and see what happens after that, you might get a clearer picture of whether you want to keep up the effort to hold this relationship together.

fluffyflea

He apologized for being an a$$! Which is fine but it will happen again.

I can only change myself.

I guess what I mean by mistake was I should have let the chips fall where they may.

zoso77

It happens.

It's like picking up a downed power line. If you pick it up, you get zapped.

So the question becomes what needs to happen so that you won't pick up the power line.

fluffyflea

Well today what I did this morning was I went to a guided meditation class and then a noon A.A meeting. Tonight I'm going out to an open mike night.

Do stuff completely out of my comfort zone.

zoso77

That's good stuff. Keep it up.