My choices reflect my opinion of and relationship with myself.
-- Heard in a meeting

Trust
At the center of your being, you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want. --Lao Tzu

Today, I set a very important boundary with a loved one, though I was afraid. I am extremely grateful to my HP for getting me through that situation. Now, that I have set that boundary, I am still afraid because I know that that boundary will be poked, prodded, pushed, and tested and reinforcing it will be difficult and cause me pain.

I find myself at a spiritual crossroads; I can listen to my fear which at the moment is trying really hard to masquerade as truth, or I can listen to my soul which is my connection to my Higher Power. The fear tells me to take down the boundary, apologize immediately, and not rock the boat. That would certainly be the easier way. However, in order to do that, I will have to tell myself that what my soul needs does not matter as much as what my loved one’s ego wants.

That would have been an easy thing to tell myself before I came to recovery and worked the Steps. But now I value my connection with my Higher Power above all things and all people. So, I know that I cannot, anymore, tell myself that my soul does not matter, anymore. So, intead, I will take the more difficult road and continue to set the boundary because I know that boundary is my way of respecting and loving myself. And that is what my Higher Power wants for me. And I trust that my Higher Power will not lead me where my Higher Power will not protect me. I am never alone.

Help
Tradition One states: “Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.” I was struck by the word unity. What occurred to me about this Tradition is that we are so much bigger than me. I see how this is true for any group. I’m in—whether I’m with Al-Anon members, my family, my coworkers, or members of the community.

One of my character defects has been self-centeredness. In most of my relationships I always tried to see what I could get from others, rather than what I could contribute. Even when I thought I was being altruistic and helping or giving to others, often my motivation was to look good and to win approval and attention. Truly putting what’s best for the whole group ahead of my own interests is something that doesn’t come naturally to me. It is something I need to pray about and turn over to my Higher Power.

I believe the saying is true: “United we stand; divided we fall.” I know if the Al-Anon program were not here I would be lost and possibly dead—certainly spiritually and emotionally if not physically. I remember talking to someone about the First Step. She pointed out to me that the first word in the First Step is “We.” She told me that this is a “We” program, not an “I” program. I am grateful that I don’t have to do my recovery alone, because I have the support of the fellowship. I want to ensure that this program continues to be here for myself and for other members who are struggling.

I have a friend who says “we” are smarter than any one of us, and I believe this is true. When we pool our knowledge, resources, and experiences together, I believe we are much more powerful
By Kerri K., Montana February 2003