I saw HIM today
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
No, I'm not weak. I guess it's hard for me to explain.
I can't DO anything about him right now other than what I already have. Taxes aren't back, so I can't pay for lawyer yet. I have HIS kids. That could change at any moment, so no I'm not in the offensive right now. I have very limited contact....not sure what else I can do at this point. Between school, the surgery, and kicking AH out...im tapped out.
can't JADE anymore about it. Just need you guys to have some faith in me
I can't DO anything about him right now other than what I already have. Taxes aren't back, so I can't pay for lawyer yet. I have HIS kids. That could change at any moment, so no I'm not in the offensive right now. I have very limited contact....not sure what else I can do at this point. Between school, the surgery, and kicking AH out...im tapped out.
can't JADE anymore about it. Just need you guys to have some faith in me
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Please remember that this wonderful "HIM" that you saw last night,
1. put you in dire financial straits with payday loans (i think you mentioned that). Sold tools to buy booze and you only had Christmas because of your grandparents generosity. He did not give you SQUAT.
2. He got out of this "rehab" where he called you 10X a day to ask what you were wearing and how you seduced the gas station attendent about a month ago.
3. He was drinking within the week, continued to be verbally and then PHYSICALLY abusive.
4. he then spent the better part of a week in JAIL where he had this Epiphany and "saw the light"
5. Now he is doing every TRICK he knows to worm his way back in. I believe the cycle will start over. We are not even 2 months past his original behavior.
You had dinner with him, chitty-chatted on the phone for 4 hours and are isolated and alone. you are vulnerable and not feeling well. He will pounce on this again and again.
5. I wouldn't even stand next to his guy in line at the grocery store.
1. put you in dire financial straits with payday loans (i think you mentioned that). Sold tools to buy booze and you only had Christmas because of your grandparents generosity. He did not give you SQUAT.
2. He got out of this "rehab" where he called you 10X a day to ask what you were wearing and how you seduced the gas station attendent about a month ago.
3. He was drinking within the week, continued to be verbally and then PHYSICALLY abusive.
4. he then spent the better part of a week in JAIL where he had this Epiphany and "saw the light"
5. Now he is doing every TRICK he knows to worm his way back in. I believe the cycle will start over. We are not even 2 months past his original behavior.
You had dinner with him, chitty-chatted on the phone for 4 hours and are isolated and alone. you are vulnerable and not feeling well. He will pounce on this again and again.
5. I wouldn't even stand next to his guy in line at the grocery store.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
Originally Posted by Fandy 
Please remember that this wonderful "HIM" that you saw last night,
1. put you in dire financial straits with payday loans (i think you mentioned that). Sold tools to buy booze and you only had Christmas because of your grandparents generosity. He did not give you SQUAT.
2. He got out of this "rehab" where he called you 10X a day to ask what you were wearing and how you seduced the gas station attendent about a month ago.
3. He was drinking within the week, continued to be verbally and then PHYSICALLY abusive.
4. he then spent the better part of a week in JAIL where he had this Epiphany and "saw the light"
5. Now he is doing every TRICK he knows to worm his way back in. I believe the cycle will start over. We are not even 2 months past his original behavior.
You had dinner with him, chitty-chatted on the phone for 4 hours and are isolated and alone. you are vulnerable and not feeling well. He will pounce on this again and again.
5. I wouldn't even stand next to his guy in line at the grocery store.
1. put you in dire financial straits with payday loans (i think you mentioned that). Sold tools to buy booze and you only had Christmas because of your grandparents generosity. He did not give you SQUAT.
2. He got out of this "rehab" where he called you 10X a day to ask what you were wearing and how you seduced the gas station attendent about a month ago.
3. He was drinking within the week, continued to be verbally and then PHYSICALLY abusive.
4. he then spent the better part of a week in JAIL where he had this Epiphany and "saw the light"
5. Now he is doing every TRICK he knows to worm his way back in. I believe the cycle will start over. We are not even 2 months past his original behavior.
You had dinner with him, chitty-chatted on the phone for 4 hours and are isolated and alone. you are vulnerable and not feeling well. He will pounce on this again and again.
5. I wouldn't even stand next to his guy in line at the grocery store.
Yep---- all of the above is 100% accurate (expect payday loans--he actually got advances on his check from his boss- but it's a moot point)
Thanks again...I'm doing the best I can.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I have TONS of faith in YOU, it's HIM I don't trust any further than I could throw him. For now, you're safe. Exhausted, overwhelmed, and not feeling so hot, but safe. You'll feel better and stronger when the surgery is behind you. This is temporary.
Remember, phone calls, dinners, emails, they are all similar to having just a sip or two, or a TEENSY drink, just to take the edge off. It never works when one is trying to get sober, and it never works when you are trying to free yourself from an unhealthy relationship. If this teensy bit makes me feel better, then it's OK, and maybe just a little bit more would make me feel a LOT better, and see, I've got a handle on this now. Then all of a sudden you're right back in it.
I'm not talking about you, specifically--this is how it works. I know you've been through a lot, and I know it hurts and feels lonely. I get it. You can keep pushing though. The pain of no contact pales in comparison to going through--again--what you've just been through with the police, him in jail, the kids crying, you running to court, ugh.
I know you're trying. You aren't weak, but he knows your soft spots. Protect them.
Remember, phone calls, dinners, emails, they are all similar to having just a sip or two, or a TEENSY drink, just to take the edge off. It never works when one is trying to get sober, and it never works when you are trying to free yourself from an unhealthy relationship. If this teensy bit makes me feel better, then it's OK, and maybe just a little bit more would make me feel a LOT better, and see, I've got a handle on this now. Then all of a sudden you're right back in it.
I'm not talking about you, specifically--this is how it works. I know you've been through a lot, and I know it hurts and feels lonely. I get it. You can keep pushing though. The pain of no contact pales in comparison to going through--again--what you've just been through with the police, him in jail, the kids crying, you running to court, ugh.
I know you're trying. You aren't weak, but he knows your soft spots. Protect them.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 774
Originally Posted by freetosmile
In other news- that 19 year old kid I mentioned a few threads ago-- will NOT leave me alone. He flirts with me CONSTANTLY! I was flattered at first, but now I'm just like- really? I mean this kid has even gone so far to say that we could have an affair and keep it quiet.......uh.......
NIP it in the bud girl! Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.... This is where you get to flex that muscle ;-)
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