He's asking for help - he's tired...
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Paradoxically, the more you try to control him / it, the worse it gets.
Like trying to grip a handful of sand, harder you squeeze, the more you lose.
Letting go, not only protects your sanity, it also puts the ball squarely in his court.
It'll probably get worse before it gets better, the drinking, but eventually it'll kick his ass and he'll want out of the pain.
Pain is a marvellous motivator.
Like trying to grip a handful of sand, harder you squeeze, the more you lose.
Letting go, not only protects your sanity, it also puts the ball squarely in his court.
It'll probably get worse before it gets better, the drinking, but eventually it'll kick his ass and he'll want out of the pain.
Pain is a marvellous motivator.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
True. That "except" seems to me a dead giveaway. "As long as it's not too hard... or too inconvenient... or too expensive... or has the wrong kind of counselors... or the wrong kind of clientele..." He wants to get better, but not badly enough to make his own appointment or to accept any of your choices that don't suit him.
Somehow I get the feeling that he's already on his way to rationalizing the next drink. "I TRIED but it didn't work."
Somehow I get the feeling that he's already on his way to rationalizing the next drink. "I TRIED but it didn't work."
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 230
I know he isn't there yet. He's seeing and thinking some different things but he still has too many conditions on how to get there. When he said he wouldn't go inpatient he then commented "do you know what kind of people are in those places?". I replied - "yes - alcoholics and drug addicts - just like you". Obviously he doesn't have anywhere near enough humility and isn't in bad enough pain to get help. I wanted to say look at 'those people' closely and you'll see yourself there if you continue.
Ok I'm done beating this issue around. Picking myself up, dusting myself off and progressing forward with life - my own. Until I slip again and learn another lesson
Ok I'm done beating this issue around. Picking myself up, dusting myself off and progressing forward with life - my own. Until I slip again and learn another lesson
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