unease7

I'm sick and he lays around sleeping I eventually had to get up fix kids some dinner do the dishes start the laundry all while he sleeps it was only when I went down stairs where the garage is (his area of the house) that he gets up stands at top of stairs looking so hateful arms crossed starring at me as I looked for a laundry basket when I ask him if he knew where one was he said where ever u put it! Then he just stood in my way as I walked past him then he ignored me when I was trying to hand him some of the laundry as he was angrily digging thru it then he started slamming doors as hard as he could and stomping his feet as he walked so I walk over to him and said you know u can leave just leave he walked up to me and I looked him straight in the eyes and he starred back and walked off mad as hell up to our bedroom slammed the door! I get so frustrated over the total lack of motivation to get off his ass and do anything!! If the house was on fire I swear he would probably burn to death

suki44883

No, he'd get himself out, but he probably wouldn't try to help you or the kids out.

freetosmile

Heres MY opinion-

Yes, absolutely- the laundry, the dishes, the kids, and dinner SHOULD be important to him. But they are NOT---

Here's the kicker- and I know your sick and that sucks--but all of the above are important to YOU-- and that is what counts here.

Really, in a healthy relationship a spouse, significant other SHOULD care when your sick, sad, angry, or whatever...but OURS don't. It's the nature of the disease. And it totally SUCKS.

If laundry isn't like totally out of control, just put a hold on it. Feed the kiddos something simple and call it good. Don't engage with him...do your OWN thing. I know it's hard..but this is the first part of recovery. Just don't engage.

Hugs to you. I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you feel better. Those kids are lucky to have a momma who cooks and does laundry even when she's sick.

knowthetriggers

I've been down this road before...it sucks.

Sorry you are having to deal with this mess!

zoso77

The reason why he's not doing anything to help while you are sick is because, as someone who is in active addiction, he doesn't give a damn what you need.

Addiction is a condition of self indulgence. His eyes look one direction and one direction only: inward. All that matters to him are his needs and what he wants.

And this will continue unabated until he decides enough is enough.

So the question circles back to this: what is best for you?

SparkleKitty

Unease, it sounds like This is Who He Is. Can you accept that? What would accepting that mean for you?