Complete Personality Change?!?
 

Did your qualifiers change their personalities pretty drastically? As my AM gets more and more mired in her condition, I can't believe how much her views on so many things have changed. Things that would have horrified her in the past, do not seem to phase her at all anymore. She is loud and outspoken when she used to be a pretty reserved person. Sometimes I feel like I don't even know her and that is even when she is relatively sober.

What have your experiences been?

Yes, I believe most of us no longer recognize the people our qualifiers used to be.

During my drinking days, I began not to recognize myself - drinking or not.

DD--my mother was my first qualifier I was aware of...and it was exactly what you are talking about that helped me kind of take notice...I was already middle age and had been there 'for her' all my life.

Have other qualifiers in immediate family now...but glad that I worked through mom with a therapist as, without that, I wouldn't have made as much progress as I have...

For me it was my A sister. She's always been a very mean, manipulative, bitter person with NPD anyway, but when she became a drunk to-boot, it was just too much. Her entire personality changed due to the brain dying off (from both the alcohol and the repeated falls/concussions). The doctors told me she probably would never be the same when she came out of her coma. I was around her maybe twice after that and have made the decision to go No Contact. She is just a horrible person and I choose not to be around the toxicity.

ETA: I was secretly hoping when she woke up she'd have become a NICER person. When I realized she hadn't, I said BUH-BYE.

the line between the 2 was so incredibly blurred, literally.

Well yeah. Honestly, if he had been the person when I met him that he turned into after 20 years, I would have run at "Hello"...

This is exactly why we have issues with active alcoholics. It is not that they drink, it is that their personalities totally change, and always for the worse.

Totally! If my husband acted the same whether he was drinking or not, I wouldn't have a problem with his problem drinking. I think that's why Jekyll and Hyde are referenced so frequently when talking about addicted loved ones.