bjmt

Just want to vent here a bit. My AH hasn't had many health problems...but the time is coming when he will. He doesn't excercise..his teeth are rotting..a ulgy yellow colour...his memory is going. He smokes two packs a day on top of the alcohol.
A mates AH has just found out he has...Korsakoff's syndrome..which occurs in chronic alcoholics who fail to get enough thiamine, or vitamin B1, which helps the brain store new information and recall past events. Amnesia is usually the result. Scary to think about...but the odds of something happening are much greater with alcohol involved. Fatty liver....hepatitis....cirrhosis...
cardiomyopathy...and the list goes on and on. I don't want to see this happen to AH..but what other choices do I have? I cannot control him or his actions. I can control my actions and make my choices. So do I stay and watch him kill himself or do I go and change my life. What a choice??? Sorry just had to vent a bit...

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi bjmt,

Dino has had a host of medical problems, some I can't blame on the crack (necessarily) and some I absolutely can and do. He's all cleaned up now so pointing out what he's done to himself would be worse than moot, but it's tragic just the same. We parted company at the height of his using in part because I couldn't stand to watch him kill himself, but now there is the aftermath. I console myself that I'll probably be absolutely bats by the time I'm 60 and if he endures that it'll make us even. LOL

I understand your frustration. My life has been full of tragedies I never saw coming. One wonders if it isn't wise to sidestep the ones that announce they're coming years in advance. Hard choice.

Hugs,
Smoke

cwohio

bjmt - i hear ya! as smoke says, hard choice. i feel the same way, but right now i am status quo and focusing on working on me. i don't know if somewhere down the road i will make a choice to move on. one day at a time!

hugs to you - cwohio

Magichappens

bjmt,
That is probably my number 1 thing to obsess on when Mr Magic is doing ok with everything else. He has a resentment against doctors, and refuses to take care of even the simplest things, like acid reflux. I have to remember that he has to take responsibility for that, and if there are dues to pay for his behavior, he'll just have to pay them. It is hard to keep the focus on us when there are so many things we can find wrong with them. I have to remember that I can't solve his problems, I can solve mine. Hugs, Magic

cwohio

magic - i know what you mean! the lexapro prescription will need to be refilled pretty soon but he'll need to go to the doctor to get a new prescription and so far he hasn't made the appt. you aren't really supposed to quit taking those meds cold turkey as it can throw you for a loop (which i think caused the last crisis several months ago) for us. i try not to focus on that but just give information to him about facts (like the above) and then it will be his call.

it is tough to pull back but gotta do it.

cwohio

wolflvr

I know how ya feel. My husband was hospitalized in March and almost died from pancreatitis/liver problem. He quit drinking and then started up and went back in June for pancreatitis again. It sucks that he is such a dumbass he thinks if he doesnt drink as much he'll be ok. I realize now I can tell him how it will affect him and its up to him from there. If he wants to die young, the choice is his. We actually talked about this last night and he said he doesnt want to get sick again etc but he still had to go get a club. Whatever. I dont want to go through the hospital thing again, calling my pastors to come pray over him. Its in God hands. My AH needs to decide whether he wants to live or die. The answer should be obvious but sometimes they dont think it will affect them until its too late. Lets pray for all the alcoholics in our lives and for ourselves!! God Bless You ALL!!!!!!!!!!

cwohio

wolf - after reading a lot of your posts, i think my ah has other medical problems (maybe even pancreatitis - i read up on it - oops - am i focusing on him too much?) he's lost weight but eats fairly regularly and has complained of his back hurting. he thinks he needed to lose weight (ha - his legs look like toothpicks).

thanks for the prayers - and i will say many too for all of us who post here and the a's in their lives. :sigh1:

wolflvr

If he had pancreatitis he would know it. It is horribly painful and you are very very sick. My husband could not even barely stand on his own when he went to the hospital. It makes you throw up also. YouAH may not be eating enough or eating the right foods. My hubby has to take folic acid and thiamin everyday now to stay healthy.

wolflvr

Also, anyone with pancreatitis has to be hospitalized on IV fluids and NO FOOD or DRINK until their pancreas starts to heal.

redrose0729

I know what you mean last January exactly one week after my A's sister found her boyfriend dead in her apartment because of alcohol I had to take him to the hospital for an upper GI bleed he threw up so hard he ripped his esophagus. He was in the hospital the doctor told him if he didn't quit drinking he would die very young. That was the 3rd time he has been in the hospital with the same thing. Yet I don't know which one he is more afraid of going into rehab or dying. I watched him last Sunday after drinking 3 beers and then a wine cooler which had malt liquer in it double over in pain scared to death he was going to bleed again but that still doesn't stop him. Really smart huh.

cwohio

arghhhh - well mine throws up on and off and he takes lots of warm baths - says back and stomach ache and that it helps. oh well, i am not a dr.! just helps to be aware of different things in case i encounter symptoms. yep - you would think that they wouldn't want to encounter the hospital stays, but..........ugly

wolflvr

Yanno what I say to my husband when his drinking causes any kind of problems? I sway in a way I guess you'd have to hear to make you laugh "Thanks Booze". He kinda laughs at it sometimes but I know inside he knows that booze sucks and isnt good for him. His time of reckoning is coming my friend, and that will be one glorious day!!

wolflvr

If he doesnt shape up the guy doing my plumbing is a hottie!! j/k I pray that he sees the light before its too late. That would be such a waste of a beautiful person.

sweeks

Uhoh my husband is a plumber...you're not in the des moines area are you? lol

eveie

WOW, reading these all, I think about the sad things about my roommate, HIS PROBLEMS, NOT MINE, but still, Asthma, on pancreas stimulators, he smokes pot, drinks over a liter a day of Black velvet, his negative hatefulness, has to efecet him somehow inside, the stress of his job, ...( still laughin' to myself thinking of this morning..tee hee) but ya know? know the drs say hes got gout in his arm, does he stop? nope, he weighs over 350 lbs, so much he waddles, its sad, pathetic, does he stop? nope, he used to BE sober, thats the part that really just pisses me off to no end!!!!!!!!!! that he did it before, knew the 12 steps, but when I ask him , When hes sober and in his nice modes(few and far in between) he says hes angry! and ya can just see the pride for him to not call his sponsor, I remember one night him saying about his sponsor, and how he just didnt have the balls to call him, ya konw what came to me? Of all things that line in Urban Cowboy, ya know the one when John Travolta's uncle is just about to die? when he says to John travlolta about pride being one of them 7 deadlies? and that ...(parapharsing)..." there isnt a day that goes by that I dont thank the good Lord up above for giving me a big enough throat to swallow......." or something like that , I remember telling my roomate that , his response? ..."F#$ You! .......HA....... I even told my doctor today, if he keeled over tomorrow? its his OWN fault, I DIDNT CAuse, CANT CONTROL IT, CANT CURE IT! and that shows me I AM making a little progress for ME... sorry so long just thought I needed to share that....((((((((((((BJMT)))))))))

kfa2004

My AH has been drinking way to much for years. It is a wonder he is still as healthy as he is. I can remember sitting up waiting for him knowing he was going to be coming home drunk and mean and that he was going to be driving and in no condition to be behind the wheel and thinking that it might be better if he went ahead and had the bad accident and took himself out. I can remember thinking that we might be better off and then my guilt would hit. Why should I feel guilty? Then I would pray that he made it home safe and especially that he would not kill a car full of kids on his way. I knew when he got home that it would not be pleasant but I prayed for his safety anyway. Strange..

shutterbug

good topic. My A is a very scary drinker. He has been on binges where he drank continuously for 3 weeks, only stopping to sleep for a couple hours once in a while. He didn't eat while he was binging (which he never does) and he ended up in the hospital with a hole in his stomach. I wasn't with him at that time, but the first time I stayed with him he starting shaking as he was going to sleep and it scared the crap out of me. He told me not to worry.

Yeah right! So I said, "okay, at what point should I worry then?" He said if he started throwing up blood then I could worry because it meant his stomach was bleeding again. He's 39 and been drinking hard since he was 15.

I ended up finding Al-anon when he chose to "hide out" for a while at my house and go on a binge. I had only seen him drink for 2 or 3 days at a time and then he would always stop. This time he wasn't stopping. And his shaking which I came to learn was called "D.T.'s" got so bad that I thought he was have seizures. For the first time around me he was throwing up and not eating anything. And he didn't want me in the bathroom when he was collapsed on the floor throwing up which I thought was because he was bleeding and didn't want me to know.

He was having cold sweats and he had checked out mentally . All this started happening on the 6th straight day of him drinking rum day and night. He had started the week by downing one of those huge bottles of rum each day. All I had ever seen him binge on was beer so this was ALL new to me. I was scared he would die and he refused medical attention.

I kept thinking..."How could I live with myself if he killed himself in my home from alcohol poisoning?"

He gave me numbers of several people to call who he thought would tell me not to worry (because they had seen him when he was an even worse drinker - how that is possible I'm not sure), but the best number he gave me was his AA sponsor's number (my A HAD been sober for 2 1/2 years). His sponsor won't talk to him when he's drinking, but he talked to me and told me about Al-anon and that it might be benificial to me.

Anyway, he's still drinking and when I use to tell him that I was scared he's going to die, he said would say "I'm a different kind of drinker. People who drink like me don't die like that." He says because he mixes the rum with coke and drinks it "slow" until he's at a certain level then tapers it off just enough to keep him drunk then he's not at risk of alcohol poisoning. (He said my father is more likely to kill himself like that because he starts drinking and then just keeps chugging them back until he passes out.)

Anyway, after he stopped the binge on day 7, it took me nearly a week of nursing him back to health before he could even do anything other than get up to go to the bathroom.

So many emotions those two weeks and so much fear! I felt all alone in the world and had no clue what I was dealing with.

He also is anti-doctors even though he suffers from deep depression and if he's not drunk he can't fall asleep (even if he's been up for days).

I don't know why I'm blabbing about all this. I just worry sometimes about what kind of shape his organs are in. Although, I know I can't do anything about it and so I need to "Let go and let God." It's just hard and I know you guys understand what I mean.

My dad also has gout in his leg, is suffering mental problems (which he says if from a nerveous breakdown - that just happed to take place when he was sloshed) and he can't sleep, remember or concentrate on things.

I'm scared of losing either of them.

God Bless,
Jenna

cwohio

i know the fear - my ah has had withdrawal seizures and it us so scary. he is also anti dr and i think waiting for the next time is whar causes me the most anxiety. hang in there - prayers are with you

hugs - cwohio

shutterbug

My dad is showing having more physical problems than I knew about. He told me about the gout in his leg, because it is so bothersome to him, but only recently told me that he has a bleeding ulcer. He said there was more, but he wouldn't tell me. I don't even know what a bleeding ulcer really is, but I'm sure the alcohol can't be good for it!

Alexia

Jeeze, do all men have the same "I dont need a doctor" disease? My AH's parents both died before the age of 53 because of alcohol. He's got the same issues as others, bad teeth, bleeding, potential gout, etc. What does it take for them to grow up and get medical attention?

I've resolved myself to the fact that he will most likely die young. Increase the life insurance.......