cricket123

I met with AH tonight just to see if he would be willing to work on our 31 year marriage. With me planning on not moving back in while we work on it. Well it went like this

What do you want
You have a big mouth and I'm sick of it I've tolerated it for 30 years
I've never tried to work things out
I belittled him with his hearing loss(he offtened used it to ignore me or not to acknowledge what I had to say( did you hear me? I would get snapped at if I repeated myself)) refuses to wear hearing aids

Again everything I might of done wrong

Very sad at how he would not acknowledge that at one time we had something good. Not accepting much responsability.

ladyscribbler

Sorry you experienced that. Hugs Cricket.

Swanee

Hang in there Cricket. Doesn't sound like AH has considered what he lost and why he lost it.

cricket123

Yeah I'll REALLY miss him- sounds dumb but I've been with him a long time and we really had some good times. He wasn't always like this I hope he fines his way back and finds happiness. I just have to learn how to do this life by myself.

Missus

It sounds like you have your answer ... best of luck :-)

Katchie

aww..I'm so sorry. I hate alcoholism and what it does to all of us. But YOU sound like you're on a good path to your own peace of mind and that's what is important. I wish upon every shooting star we could shake our A's awake to get the help they need and to "see" what damage has been done and CARE.
Hugs...you are doing good things for you and the world will start looking up!

spedteach

I'm so sorry. Unfortunately, sounds like he's still in big time denial. Sounds like losing risking losing his wife may not be enough to shake him awake. He might have to lose you to realize what's happened...or maybe that won't even help him to wake up and accept responsibility.

YOU deserve better...I know it's hard, I'm so sorry.

dandylion

Cricket....the "missing" is normal. Anything or anyone who has been a part of the daily fabric of our lives....we will "miss".
Expect this..that you will, no doubt, feel this for a good while.
****Don't let that throw you, though. Many people feel like they have "done the wrong thing" or "made a mistake" if they feel sad or lonely or guilty, at first. Consequently, this can be a big stumbling block and cause them to go back on their own judgement.

Knowing what to expect can go a long way to keep you centered and your eye o n the bigger picture.

dandylion

hopeful4

I'm sorry it did not go well Cricket.

Tight hugs XXX

Jane11

Sorry to hear that happened to you cricket. So hard when they won't take responsibility and when we want something to work out a certain way and it just doesn't seem like that will happen.

The missing them part is hard, so hard and remembering the 'good times' seems to be so easy! I'm going through that right now. But maybe it gets to a point where there isn't much they are offering that we have to actually miss-- not in the right here right now anyway.

Stay strong

Duckygirl1

The saddest part of these splits for the A is not that they no longer live with us, it's that they have to continue to live with themselves. They abandon their best friends for their worst enemy.

firebolt

This. Exactly this.

FeelingGreat

He's going through the anger stage and it might not last forever. Possibly when he calms down he'll be more receptive, but don't chase him, give him some space.

If he never comes round, then counselling might not have been productive anyway.